Phase 2

[Esame]

Feyth it sounds like you are doing brilliantly! Well done darling? I hope you are proud of yourself.

I hope you are having a libel weekend seeing loads of friends and doing loads of interest things!

[pinn]

Great to hear Feyth.... keep it up!!

[Pax_luv]

Thanks esame and pinn!

I am so grateful for this site. Im grateful for the insights and support of those trying their best to be good people and good spouses.

I'm also grateful for the space to vent my frustrations

H texted me super late last night with some weird long rambling text about meeting me in my neighborhood to do the dog swap this morning. I didn't quite get where he was coming from, so I ignored the text and responded back in the am. I told him that I didn't quite understand and I would be leaving in an hour. He told me he would meet me at x place at that time. The place he chose happens to be right in the vicinity where I think his ow lives and also happens to be a mile away from me.

I told him a few weeks ago that I wanted to start balancing out the swapping of the dog because I'm always the one picking him up and dropping him off. He scoffed and rolled his eyes when Isaid that. Truth is, the last time h dropped the dog with me was in April and that was like pulling teeth. (Yeah, can't be a doormat for that any longer)

So, I go to the meeting place 3 mins away and he's there already. I give him the dog and he starts saying he was in the neighborhood so he thought it would be best to meet here. I said, why couldn't you just drop him at my place? He said, I thought it was easier for you since you have the gate. I said, easier for me to drive here vs pushing a gate button? He said, well yeah. I just looked at him and said, it's bizarre I don't understand that logic.

So I leave and 20 mins later get a long rambling text about how he thought he was doing me a favor, and it was stupid of him to think that way, he was just trying to help me out, and that it seemed like I was really riled up and that he won't schedule early morning meetings anymore.

I replied back and said I wasn't riled up at all, I justcouldnt understand why he wouldn't come to my place when he was that close instead of me going the opposite way. So far, no response back.

The truth is... It's not even a thing.....At all. I don't mind meeting him down the street, but it's just so weird! And also comical that he thought I was riled up. I was honest and told him that i didn't understand the logic. I wasn't rude, sarcastic, stern, just honest. Kind of funny. The way he even brought it up was weird and long and drawn out. Confusing.

Also, On Friday, when I picked up the dog, he said, yeah I was going to meet you at x place today but my friends invited me out last minute. His statement had nothing to do with anything so I thought, mehhh he's just covering something up... It's a white lie. How sad that he feels like he needs to come up with excuses and lies. I didn't ask him to meet me- I placed no expectations on him and yet he goes on about the reasons behind his actions.

Just be honest, dude! It's like he's disclosing too much and everyone else is the cause of his actions/director of his life. Hard to explain, but I think many of you get the gist. It's like he's not taking accountability for anything, not in a negative way... But moreso like- I'm doing this for this person, these people asked me to do that, so and so wants me to go there. But nothing that takes "I" ownership.

Anyway, whatever! It is what it is. He's still in my dreams right now, too. 2 last night! One where we were reconciling and he allowed me to watch the surveillance video on our home security cameras and another where he came to hang out with my family. I need to watch some interesting tv or read some good books in order have dreams that don't include h.

Alrighty, best wishes for an awesome week!

[Pax_luv]

Oh and I know now that there were so many missed opportunities for validation, etc. but when his thinking defies logic, I get thrown for a loop! Ahh better luck next time, Feyth!

[Pax_luv]

Hello there,
Nothing new to report. Still just trying to go out, live life and be the best person I can be. I just came across one of my favorite Mother Teresa excerpts and wanted to share it with this community. I love it and hope you do, too. It helps me to the focus off others and bring it back to myself to become centered.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

[kml]

Love this!!!!

[pinn]

Hey Feyth... hows the ankle?? Still going for a tri??

[Pax_luv]

Hi Pinn! Yes sir, I am still training for the tri. 19 days! Holy cr@p!!! The ankle is doing ok... Still giving me some problems, but I'm keeping my runs light which seem to help. Some days I think I'm in over my head with this but I'm excited. I've been nervous about the swim, so I'm just trying to get as much pool time in as possible (which isn't a lot... 3x week). However, now I'm nervous about the bike ride! I learned that one hill has a 600 ft elevation gain. Wth?!?! I've already resigned myself to thinking that I will probably have to hop off the bike and walk it up the hill. I have a 25 mile bike ride scheduled for next weekend so it will be a good training run.

I've been trying to get together with a girlfriend of mine who has done tri's in order to get a better idea of what to expect, but we just can't seem to make it happen. I've never even seen a tri in person so I'm kind of making up what I'm going to have to do/ what I'm going to have to wear, etc. I want some guidance. Truth is.... The not knowing part is kind of exciting. I've been reading a lot and training a lot and having fun with it. While I know it's going to be hard and scary, I'm doing everything possible to not give up, push myself, and just make it happen. Hmmmmm sounds a lot like db'ing.

Other than that, things are ok. Status quo with the h. I keep missing my opportunities to validate... But I'm not too bent out of shape over it. He was very pleasant with me during our recent swap.

All is ok in Feyth's world. Had a crazy weekend of gal activities and need to seriously detox this week. I've gone to two live sporting events including pre-parties and tailgating so I'm officially wayyyy over stuffed with beer and carbs. Does not feel good!

Thanks for checking in! Wishing everyone a great week.

[pinn]

Omg that sounds so awesome!!.. I am a little jealous to be honest. What are the distances for this tri?? I literally cannot wait to hear how it goes. As someone who is just starting out, I really want to hear what another newbie thinks. The swim would for sure the hardest part for me. Don't hurt yourself over the next few weeks!!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Your Mother Theresa quote is inspirational.

I'd offer some advice but...it seems like your doing everything right from what I read. Including the interaction about the dog, except...maybe go in with the understanding that logic plays no part in the MLCer. So asking about it...pointless.

So looking for it is sort of like looking for gold in your cereal box. Its "possible" that somehow in some way gold got in there, but its highly unlikely.

Also I never trusted any random out of the blue message either. I also discovered that trying to figure them out was sort of pointless.