Focus on Me and my Boys 7

[Painter]

I wonder if WAS is going to try to use your uncertain child care situation against you? I hope your L will be able to prove that she is the one who put you in that situation with her groundless accusations against the previous sitter.

[J5K]

Thank you lt and Painter

Painter

L says we have not heard back from the psychologist and we have not gone to mediation. L feels the same way I do, STBX wants to put the boys in school in Canada and that is why the date still stands. STBX and her L do not want to push the date back and have the boys start school here.

STBX still owes my L a response to questions from a letter of admission that we sent her. That is due on the 28th. STBX is trying to hide the new house as marital property, the bank account she has that gets part of the boys subsidy money, and her moral fitness.

[J5K]

STBX calls and speaks with the boys just now, first time since the last exchange. We talk on the phone about an issue that came up at my sister's. I told her I addressed it immediately as the comments my sister made bothered S7. STBX says she understood this is hard on the families. She had a calm voice and so did I. She asked where we were meeting for the exchange tomorrow and I stated the apartment at 5. She said OK. We were cordial.

The weekend has been fun with the boys. Took them to a big park twice and my sisters house. Going to a festival this afternoon.

[Phoebe]

Cordial sounds like a major improvement, JK.

Calm, cool, and collected is certainly the best way to approach the most important "C" - communication. I'm glad to hear that you were able to communicate better.

I'm way behind on what's going on in your world, but I wanted to stop by and say hello.

((((((((((JimKao))))))))))

[Rose888]

Jim, it's so nice to hear about a calm, cool conversation. Well done!

[J5K]

Thank you Phoebe and Rose!

I am so numb to everything now. Seems like this is a recurring thing with STBX though, she sounds sweet right as she is about to drop the next hammer on me. We will see what happens on Tuesday.

S6 had a rough day today. I put him to bed early. I asked him what was wrong and he said he missed mom. She did not call all week and called at lunch today to talk to the boys. I told S6 everything will be ok, and that mommy will see him tomorrow and that we both love him very much. I asked him if he needed a hug and he said yes. I hugged him for 5 minutes and told him he can come to me for a hug any time he wants.

[J5K]

So exchange went ok. Car died a mile feom the apartment. So I had to take the boys in the van and traded with STBX and MIL. They thanked me for coming to get the car. Was able to get it started and drive it to dealership. They thunk I need a new engine. Blown tie rod. STBX does not want to put any money into the car. Told her I agree so I guess we will see what is wrong with it tomorrow.

Friend is coming to pick me up and I get to borrow my mom's car. STBX at least asked how I was getting home and of I had transportation for tomorrow. Told her I had everything lined up. Her response was that's great.

Psychologist also called me today amd asked a few more questions to finish up report.

At least today was somewhat drama free.

[J5K]

Court was quick today. Only there an hour. Ls went in front of the clerk and gave update on status for psych eval and mediation.
New dates were set for completion of mediation and trial.
Clerk went to STBX's L and STBX and explained some stuff I could not hear. All I heard was STBX say this is insane. I looked back once and she gave me a look like how/why are you doing this.

My L also requested an independent medical exam for STBX because she is stating she cannot work a full time job.

My L also said expect a motion from STBX and her L next week to take the kids to Canada to start school.

L also did some research on STBX's lawyer stating that she has a reputation to lie a lot in court. STBX's L was also cutting off my L in conversations and it was a little heated. Somewhat embarrassing for STBX's L. Lots of bullying going on from STBX and her L.

Clerk went to update judge a few times during this event and we did not even present anything in front of the judge.

[rich4j]

Stressful! Sorry you have to go thru this all

So why is your STBX claiming she can't work a full time job? Holy princess. She may want to start a pact with my STBX called the pampered prima dona's who need to get with reality club.

[RAI]

Hi JK,

There are a lot of similarities in our sitchs. One major difference is that you are no longer living with your WW, while I am. That aside, your W sounds very similar to my W. She seems to have given up on parenting and has become absorbed in her own little world. It seems like your MIL is empowering her as well (just like mine). It is kind of eerie how they are following the same script. Every court communication or conference rips me to shreds. I have seen a lot on these boards, and I think your sitch most resembles mine currently.

Because of the similarities in our sitch, I know you are finding it hard to take your focus off everything your W is doing. Nevertheless, for your health, you need to start focusing more on JK. What are you doing for you? One of the other posters (I think it was MACH) said that the children are forming memories of you and you want those to be good memories (or something to that effect). There is a very sad tone in your thread. You cannot choose your circumstances, but you can choose your response to your circumstances.

SH_ has a gratitude thread. I highly recommend you visit (if you have not already) and find some things for which to be grateful. It helped me to do this. I still have my days - today is one of them, but they are less intense. There will be many days of distress ahead, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other and work on YOU.

Best,

RAI