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Ain't a damn thing I can say other than this: That was amazing.


Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
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Man your problems make mine seem small. Inspiring.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
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GAL today will be cleaning house, going to beach, beginning course work - last year of graduate school begins today.

W texted this morning. Her day began w/ problems w/ s4. She was also unhappy she had to take him to a bday party. I did not have much energy for it. All my replies were basic Wonka validation. Finally got her to send the "Thanks, have a good day" text, which indicates the end of it.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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Went to the ocean for skating today.Road my board and listen to music along the Atlantic Ocean for about an hour. Grabbed a slice of pizza and sat down. Some old friends I've not seen in a bit happened by. I hung out w/ them for a brie time. Got a text from some other friends inviting me over for a pool party and some BBQ. Sounded great so I went.

Nothing amazing will happen in life when you sit at home alone. Get out, get seen, get engaged, turn up.

Have my son tomorrow. Looking forward to it.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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Originally Posted By: CT1118
Nothing amazing will happen in life when you sit at home alone. Get out, get seen, get engaged, turn up.


CT, this is so very true. Not only does it occupy your mind, but you never know what'll happen when you put yourself out there. Keeps life interesting.

All the others are right about you brother. You are a super strong dude. You've been through so much, and the fact you have been able to handle it as perfectly as you have is a testament to your strength and perseverance. I continue to follow your story with awe and you should know that you are a rock a lot of folks around here look to.

Enjoy your time with your son CT!


Me39
M11 : T13
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BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
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It0402 - thank you so much. I really and truly appreciate those words and respect them. It seems as if each day brings a new challenge and a new opportunity. Knowing my W is now willing to allow her OM around our s4 and knowing that she has stated how little she cares for OM is a hard pill to swallow as a parent. I am detached and my emotions are incredibly residing in my son. But, IMO and for me, hitting detachment means what you hear in this place so often... accepting that our spouses are on their own journey, are free to make their own mistakes, and we hope that they will drive out of the fog at some point, but we are not in the passenger seat any longer.

I have expressed many times I do not want OM around my son. I might feel differently if she told me ILYBNILWY or that she loved him. Neither of those ever occurred. So, yeah what began as ego is now that I don't want him around my kid for my kid's health. Yet, I cannot control her and I accept that.

What I can do is change focus. Can I be the stronger parent for my son? Can I provide him with the tools to handle confusion? Can I refrain from pushing questions on him and from making negative statements about his mother's behavior? Yes, I control that.

Where does self-confidence come from? Strength or courage? Introspection? Corrective action? Change - long lasting and permanent change for the better? All of this comes from choice. And this choice is made for the self. Will not happen overnight, but once one accepts their journey and begins walking into it, the amazing can happen.

Hell has sent me many demons to confront and enslave me in this life and I allowed them to use me for a long time. Honestly at this point, those demons bore the sht of me, and that took all their power away.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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S4 got dropped off sick. I took him to the clinic. She took no action. Ear infection. I am not mad, nor am I disappointed. Further, its not something I expected. Sometimes you have to adjust plans as necessary.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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Originally Posted By: CT1118
S4 got dropped off sick. I took him to the clinic. She took no action. Ear infection. I am not mad, nor am I disappointed. Further, its not something I expected. Sometimes you have to adjust plans as necessary.


Agree, it's always best to remain flexible, especially where the kids are involved. See you posting in a lot of other threads today. How's your day going bud? Son feeling better?


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
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Thanks for asking. I was posting over my lunch hour. Did not feel like gym today, which is terrible, but with son being sick I did not sleep well and lost my energy. He appeared better today. I ran late for things as I let him sleep more than usual. I have him again tonight, so will know more then. Just checking in her during the last 15 minutes of work - I did a lot today.

To be honest,as you have most likely seen, I am concerned about ForGump. Trouble with anonymity here - no way to call and check.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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Had IC this morning. Went well. You know, the amount of people who have told me I was brave since the start of all this..."if I had a dollar" so to speak. I do appreciate it. Think of the fight or flight impulse. I have always been a fighter. Does not mean that I would always get into fights, but I always fought. And so I continue to fight.

Detachment, so many say they want to get here quick. I would propose that it cannot be quick if it is to be real, as well, some may arrive faster than others. Detachment also does not mean everyday is trouble free. This is where you fight. I was just stuck in traffic and caught myself wishing this whole MLC process would hurry up and fast forward itself. I had to abort that thought. Its not healthy. I do not want the WW on the other end of my phone. I want a new version of the woman I married. One who is ready to be with me and have a family. I don't need that, I want it.

Figuring out how to love while detached is its own challenge. I hope you get there, but it is not free of trouble.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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