Incase any of you guys are reading my thread. Apologies i havnt been participating with the newcomers. I just find it triggers me, making me re-live all the lies and betrayal over and over again. Which puts me in a mood.
Plus i am not so far along to be able to give sound advice. Although to the newcomers you may read my thread and if you find similarities with your sich maybe you can learn from the mistakes i've made.
I think in terms of letting go. Im getting better, it takes conscious effort to not get pulled back, i would do well for a few weeks then blow it when the STBX does something or text that gets to me. Im more conscious of it now and am able to recognise it as a trigger and just find some way to take a time out or do something worthwhile. It does a world of wonders but does take conscious effort.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
You're moving along, slowly but getting there. Everything happens in the right time and right place. Sometimes "the stars are not aligned", and you just need to hang on. It may be the worlds longest bend but you'll make it around there, yes you will. (I know, kinda redundant the 3rd time round)
And you don't need to sell the house first to finalise the D... It's a delay tactic from her side to keep you on a string - "how long is a piece of string really?".
Anyhows, keep your head up - stay conscious of how you feel and don't give in to your mind, it will run away with you whenever it can.
Follow your heart!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Staying upbeat as house sold means some financial freedom for me yay. A motorcycle and a long ass trip to break the routine. Might try riding coast to coast of Borneo. If i can find some way to get the bike across pond might even ride from Singapore, through Malaysia and into Thailand.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
If your heart is taking you there, then you will find a way.
But don't lose yourself to whats around you. Find yourself.
In life, we all look for our purpose. But here's the thing... we don't realise that our purpose can be found in every moment of everyday. A simple reply to a post to someone half-way around the world, could have been our purpose for that moment.
It's about sharing love Natus. That's the purpose!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So shes insisting dinner tonight for handover. Shes tried a few times now i think but i have managed to avoid it. Caught me this time because i didnt outright say no.
I suppose no harm to go along tonight. I just hope im further along the detached train that it doesnt pull me back in to the drama.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I dont know why i stressed over it. Pretty uneventful, i guess in my mind i was trying to figure out why she wanted to have dinner for.
Well i have S5 till Monday as shes going Bangkok with her sisters. First night of handover is always the hardest but got through it.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Shes sending me pictures and updates from her trip and buying me things.
I dont want be pulled back into any drama. Trying to balance NC and being pleasant is hard.
Shud i just abandon NC and just move forward and just be friend-ish to her? its not like im trying to get back together anymore.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I would at least be fried-ish to her, but only so there is less drama between the two of you because of your son.
M 55 W 52 MR 32 T 34+ D29 BD May 8, 2016 - She moved out ILYBNILWY May 15 (Through email) No EA/PA August 23 - DB used against me in every way Divorce July 18, 2017 - Life is getting better every day
Is it weird, nowadays i cant imagine not being separated.
I still have feelings for her, no doubt about that but i've made a good solid wall around me (or
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
*wonder what happen to my post ~ i guess will try again*
Is it weird, nowadays i cant imagine not being separated.
I still have feelings for her, no doubt about that but i've made a good solid wall around me (or at least i believe so, hasnt been tested yet).
Going to bring S5 to england & scotland for almost the whole December. It will be his first time seeing snow. Im looking forward to this trip as an escape from everything but at the same time there is a finality in it. A long near month long trip away from her. We will no longer be going on family trips, my heart breaks at the idea but excited at the same time.
A girl told me i was trying to hard to be alone, that i have so much love to give but i wont let anyone in. I wonder if that will be my default mode, to be guarded. To be fair its still early days for me. Some people have been on this site for years.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
