6 Months since she said i dont love you (4)

[Natus]

less I see W the better.

Same here. I dont want to see her at all. Ill try my best to avoid her at all cost. Thankfully only time i do see her is handover on sunday.

Im seeing the light. A life of possibilities without her. It makes me cry and smile at the same time. Tears for the family i lost and my picket fence dream shattered but a smile because now i can spread my wings.

[Natus]

So i am ending the day with intense sadness. Worked out twice today, morning and night. Tonight pushed it hard for 2hrs then did some sparing. All i could feel after was emptiness. With that emptiness comes fire. Fire to push harder, faster, tougher.

Im probably going to be sore tomorrow.

[lt0402]

Hey Natus, I get the sadness part of it. Tends to come less frequently now, but when it does it [censored]. Like you I find the exercise is an amazing outlet for my energy. Leaves me tired at the end of the day and helps to limit the thinking time before bed.

Hang in there brother! You have the right mentality of facing it and powering forward.

[Natus]

Im much better today, worked out in the morning then went to pick up son from handover.

Parked my car and saw my little boy and suddenly im just filled with happiness. Brightened my mood x1000, stepped out the car beaming. stbxw beamed back back but my smile was for my little boy, acknowledged her with a hi but i'll be honest i didnt pay her any attention.

[Natus]

So the void is great for fuelling workouts but in-between phew im itching to do something, anything, all the time. Ride into the wind, Join an all you can eat contest, scale a building like king kong and beat my chest.

I think im alittle frustrated that finances are coming along a little slow. No bike, no bachelor pad, no holiday into the unknown yet. Im impatient.

[EDF]

Exercise has been a huge calm in the storm for me too. Just wanted to mention that I've also recently started doing mud runs/obstacle course runs which has been a blast, and I bet you'd like it too.

Stuff like Warrior Dash, Battle Frog, Spartan, and at least in my state there are lots of smaller mud run 5Ks. Some have more challenging obstacles or longer distances, but the couple I have done have been great mood lifters, and lots of people do them walking the course if you're not big into running.

For me, it also gives me something new to exercise towards, getting better at various obstacles.

[Natus]

I think you might be on to something EDF. Time to google up mud runs in my area.

[Natus]

Been such a slow week its frustrating. Need a bike, need a holiday, need to ride off into sunset.

grr one more week then i shud have a bike. Got my eye on a 1993 immaculately maintained Virago XV1100. Fingers crossed the owner hasnt sold it off before my cash comes in next week.

[Natus]

Sadness and frustration seem to be the theme this week. Been going to gym, movies, had coffee w a girl (just chatting) but still moving forward feels so slow.

I pick up my S5 tomorrow so i have that to look forward to. I think we will go to a water park. He'd enjoy that immensely.

[Natus]

Just taking a little moment to feel proud of myself. Have not checked her FB or Instagram or any social media. Had a moment where i wanted to click but decided i dont really want or care to know.