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Cherry, your H is confused and it sounds like he's doing major cake binging.

He prob knows that you can offer what itsy bitsy skank can't offer but itsy bitsy skank represents freedom from responsibilities. Your H needs to grow up and man up. But it's his journey.

Your journey is to continue being an awesomely sexy, sassy lighthouse.


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Cherry Offline OP
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Oh he is majorly tryna eat that cake!

Don't you just wish there was a way to make them see what crazy life's they are living right now. But again, I guess that's his journey, his problem, his circus, his monkeys.

Yeah freedom and bugging up his ego I guess.

I'm certainly trying to. I forced myself up and out of the house to get my eyebrows threaded today. Being particularly sick today so this was kinda the last thing I wanted to do


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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Hey there Miss Cherry. I kind of got lost for a bit, but I'm back and checking in on you.

I am so glad to hear that you are holding the line when it comes to sex. It may be what he wants from you the most, but it is, quite frankly, what he least deserves. He can't pick and choose which parts of you and your marriage that he wants.

I hope that you start feeling better very soon, and that you continue to hold the line. You are a powerful woman and you deserve a whole marriage in which you are loves and cherished for everything that you bring to the table. Short of that - he can go "pleasure" himself. (didn't want to get censored!)

Sorry. I've been feeling bit feisty lately. smile

Hang in there, lovely lady.

((((((((((Cherry))))))))))


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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Originally Posted By: Cherry
Thanks SH.

Detachment has always been something I've struggled with. Though I'd like to think I'm getting slightly better. I didn't give into his ways, as I often get the impression h is only physicality attracted to me. And I do deserve more than that, I'm a good person, I have morals and a big heart. But mami won't be taken for a fool, so after I told him no sex. I'm sticking to it.

But I'll read and re read until it sticks

Waiting for his crazy train to crash but I guess I can't force that


Hi Cherry

I know detachment is a big challenge. It is a big challenge foe most of us.
I think one of the reasons that it is a challenge, is because it is misunderstood and or thought to simply be a place that is reached in our minds.
I am researching and reading about it a lot to better understand what it is and how it can be implemented and applied for a strong healthy relationship. Relationships first with ourselves. Second with other people.

Anyway, my point that hopefully I can make for you here in short, is I am seeing it more as an action we LBS must practice constantly.
Kind of like getting into shape and or being healthy after not being in shape and unhealthy.
It is hard at first. It hurts at first. We struggle and are not sure if we are doing things right.
The key is that we remain consistent and practice daily. Learn from error and mistakes and adjust.

Detachment is an action and a choice that takes effort and work and then we will become strong and healthy....emotionally and mentally.

The thread in cadets homework about detachment should be read daily and implemented until it makes sense.

You can do this.
I look forward to seeing a post in the next day or two from you about one thing you learned from the detachment material and how you implemented it.
Lets start there if you are up to it. wink


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Originally Posted By: Cherry
I do deserve more than that, I'm a good person, I have morals and a big heart. But mami won't be taken for a fool, so after I told him no sex. I'm sticking to it.

But I'll read and re read until it sticks

Waiting for his crazy train to crash


Originally Posted By: SuperSara
Cake eating with a side of man baby.


Originally Posted By: JksD
He prob knows that you can offer what itsy bitsy skank can't offer but itsy bitsy skank represents freedom from responsibilities. Your H needs to grow up and man up. But it's his journey.

Your journey is to continue being an awesomely sexy, sassy lighthouse.

Originally Posted By: Phoebe


Sorry. I've been feeling bit feisty lately. smile

Hang in there, lovely lady.

((((((((((Cherry))))))))))


Look out folks!!!
We have a thread here full of Feisty, Sassy, Lovely Ladies over here!!!

With the likes of the sweet Gals, Cherry, Phoebe, JksD and SuperSara, I don't know how well the WH club is gonna survive.
There is gonna be some smackdown laid down around these parts for sure! whistle cool grin wink


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
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SH, you are hilarious. smile

I'm honored to be included in the ranks of the WH Smackdown Club.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
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Lol! So are you the ringleader of the smackdown club, SH?


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
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Originally Posted By: JksD
Lol! So are you the ringleader of the smackdown club, SH?


Heck yeah!
Just call me Charlie.
We'll call you gals, Angels. wink

Look out you bad WS club. You can't hide now.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,746
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Ooh yes! I'm loving the smack down club! Loving the feisty women here taking control of their life's.

Phoebe, you don't have to apologise for the feistiness. In my head I frequently tell him to go pleasure himself!

Sh, yes I'm willing to give that a go. Anything that gives me an opportunity to take control and survive this I'm willing to grab with both hands. And obviously I would love the opportunity to save my marriage. But my sanity needs to be saved first.

Time to start a new thread to I guess


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,746
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Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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