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Hey NYGAl!


What a wonderful update!!! Keep up the good work. In addition to TxHubby's suggestion, I would want to up the sexy factor too. Nothing like reeving your W's engine in dressing up in sexy clothes and flirting like a carefree woman. Rwwwar!!

((((NYGal))) You've come a long way baby...from those dark days to bright days. Must feel really good these days. Don't get complacent ever. Keep on keepin' on those communication and relationship skills.

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NYGal Offline OP
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Wonka! Thanks for stopping by to say hi! Wish I had read your post before I just downed a whole bag of Twizzlers. Things are pretty good. I do need to stay on my toes, though!
If you come back here, let me know your you are doing.
XO


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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NYGal,

I have a question for you. When you and your W were separated did she ever used to say anything about the future that did NOT give you hope? I know you are not supposed to believe anything they say but my DB coach disagreed with that when I had my first session yesterday.
One thing my wife said the other day was "you need to move out of that area" (there were some robberies) I'm probably reading to much into it but it made me think you want me to move? So your not coming back? LOL Probably a mute point but wanted your take....thank you!


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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hawker - while my W hasn't returned, she has said anything and everything from - D will be fine with us divorcing to even talking about all of us moving to a different state more recently... It was a clear sign that half the time she forgets we are separated or that she's really confused about the sich not sure what she wants. She wants whats best for me - but half the time I don't know if that's being selfish on her part (wants me to improve for her) vs. wanting me to improve so she feels less guilty about leaving me and hopes I can move on... really it's mind reading and I've found it best not to read too much into what they say right now as none of us are mind readers.


Me: 40 W: 45
T: 13, M: 11
1 D: 9

Suspect A 6/15
ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16
EA/PA Discovered 3/16
EA admitted 3/16
W Moved out 4/16
W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
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NYGal Offline OP
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Sure, hawker, she said things that did not give me hope. But "you need to move out of that area" means your W is concerned for your safety. She's saying she cares, not that she's not coming back.

And the "don't believe anything they say" is misinterpreted. They aren't lying every time they open their mouths. It just means, if they say "I never loved you" or some such nonsense, don't believe it. It means take everything they say with a grain of salt, because it could change tomorrow or next week.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 700
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Thanks NYGal!! smile That helps...she has never said I never loved you or anything like that....I have to quit trying to read into her meanings when she says stuff...haha!


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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Thanks PacLove...I am going to stop reading in to what she says..you are correct we are not mind readers!! smile


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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NYGal Offline OP
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Hawker, and does she sometimes say she still loves you but doesn't want to give you false hope?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 700
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Hi NYGal,

Well she says she loves me and cares about me but doesn't want know what she wants and doesn't want to lead me on....


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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NYGal Offline OP
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I swear, you are in exactly the same situation I was in. It's like that Seinfeld episode where they all find people exactly like them living parallel lives. (I never watched Seinfeld, just heard about it.)
I wish we could talk.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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