Thanks RDS. I guess it is possible, he's gone before and come back. But this is like the 3rd/4th time he's checked out and returned. He hasn't had an a all those times. But still. Like the others say, I guess this time I need to get the message across that I will not live my life like this with him checking in and out. Saying he doesn't love me then he does. He needs to face these issues that he has deep inside that is making him behave this way. And while I'm all supporting, there's a time when he is full on taking the rip.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
I guess this time I need to get the message across that I will not live my life like this with him checking in and out.
You need to get that message across to yourself. If you do that you'll be ok whether he ever really gets the message or not.
Hang in. Say the word and I'll ensnare him with a magical ring that will yield him legendary success for a time, then gradually turn him into a wraith that forever walks the night under the power of darkness...
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Cherry. Just be you. That's all you need to be. All LBS's get their own fog. You need to exit it and be the much more confident and sassy person you were. He will see you only then. I wish you all the best love.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
Cherry, Your H is gaslighting you. He's trying to make it seem that you're the one who's trying to put the blame on him....
He may not have a PA with skank but to me, telling such intimate details to the skank qualifies at the very least for an EA. He needs to have walls around inappropriate relationships with other skanks, and he needs to have a window/ door between you and him. Not the other way round.
Right now, he's still in a fog, so there's no point trying to make him see otherwise. I am a firm believer that you can only convert the converted, or those who wish to be converted.
I agree with the rest that there is nothing wrong with setting a firm boundary. He is not getting any MLing from if he's flirting with others and he's not sure if he wants to be in the R.
Having said that, Cherry, please do not start getting pissy at him. I am not saying that you will, but please continue treating him in a kind and loving way.
And dearie, of course skank has got nothing on you! Hold this thought and use this to boost your PMA and confidence. You are gorgeous, sassy and a great mama. And you are tough as nails! Plus, you've got morals.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Yeah you are right. He is trying to gaslight me. But isn't this typical fog behaviour, thinking everyone is out to get them and how no one possibly understands them.
I am trying hard to remain upbeat and friendly with him. This isn't much point in staying angry and pissy at him. I said my point, I laid some boundaries.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Godwilling, good. Been in to the maternity hosp today for some bloods. The early days are always the worst. And I avoid telling people until that 12 week scan. This time round I find myself worried about baby as my health and wellbeing has kinda been in the back of my mind- now it's at the front. I text h to tell him my dr sent me to hosp for the vomitting, dr was worried I would be dehydrated- I'm not do everything in throwing down and back up- my body is using so that's good. H didn't message back, I kinda expected it but thought as it was to do with baby, I should tell him. That hasn't bothered me, as I had no expectation.
Being there was kinda bittersweet, on the one hand I was really excited, seeing all these babies and thinking I'm growing life and I'll have another has me really happy. But then there's all the reminders of him and us there with our first.
I didn't say that last night, I woke a few times in the night to see him watching me sleep. At one point I woke cause he had his hand on my face, like brushing my hair out of my eyes. So strange. So very strange
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Today has been a better day. I've forced myself not to dwell on h drama. Or even other think his strange behaviours and the night face stroking etc.
The drs have given me some antisickness meds which are safe in pregnancy. This has helped me get some food down without bringing it back up which is great.
He came home and asked how I had got on straight away. We ate and came up to bed. He slightly spoke, but looked physically exhausted. I wasn't ott, but I was upbeat and friendly.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Went for a early scan today because of sickness. Saw a little heartbeat fluttering away. So that puts my mind at ease. Everyone in the waiting room was sat excited with their partners.
That did hurt, I'd be lying if I said it didn't. But I can do that. Seems real that there's a baby in there now. I need to protect and nurture.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
