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#2690095 07/11/16 05:48 AM
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M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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Originally Posted By: BrightFuture
Irish, good to hear that you are doing well and that you received the passports for your D’s on time for a summer vacation.

I also hope you will get a deal you want regarding your house. You need it for your girls.

What are the plans for the rest of the summer?


Hi Bright
Thanks for dropping in:-)

Yes the passports were a hurdle but so happy to have them. I do advise STBXW if I leave the country. Travel in canada I don't need to.

As for the house. Hopefully it goes well this week. This will close a chapter and secure my girls stability.

As for this summer
I already did zip lining, continued courses for horseback riding, camping twice, hiking, festivals in the city not far from me and of course wall climbing. I just got my first certification so no need to have a staff spot me or the girls.

Right now I rented a cottage on a private lake with my girls. My parents, brothers and their wife's and gods are arriving shortly. We are experiencing a heat wave so timing was perfect.

I read something I want to share with you all. It's from the book a year in the light

" Because we can't send the clouds back from where they came from, because we can't unlearn, unknow or unfeel. Because we can't reverse the diagnoses, undo the damage, turn back time, or unspeak what has been spoken. Because we can't stop the mind from occasionally visiting the deepest, darkest recesses or the mental dungeons where our fears reside. Because we can't unrage, unfall or unbreak. Because we can't unifect or forget or unregret.

It is what it is, so we choose light. Admits all of it, we choose light and love and laughter and folly.

ANY OTHER OPTION IS UNLIVING."

Hugs
Irish


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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Irish,

That's a great section from a year in the light.

When you read something like that and really understand it, really get it, you finally realize how far you've come in your journey, how wonderful the journey is and how you have become a more content, better human being in the process.

So wonderful to have been with you here while you have progressed and grew.

Mirage

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Hi Irish, sounds like you are doing well and I'm glad to read that smile

What a lovely quote, and so true. I think when we are doing all of the DB fundamentals we are choosing light. When we GAL, when we choose to be gracious and cooperative. When we reconnect with old activities and find new ones, when we work on forgiveness.

I do think if we keep making choices each and everyday 'towards light' we can't go too far wrong - even if we have to wade through a bit of boggy ground on the way there..

Have a great time on your trip xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Great quote, Irish! Thanks for sharing. I have this engraved on my phone case (it was a custom order): “I am Light I am Love I am Piece”. I repeat this to myself every day in my morning meditation.

Have fun at the cottage on the lake! It sounds like a great family re-union!


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Hi Irish, just been catching up on your thread. Sorry it's been so long since I visited you!

The cottage sounds wonderful. You really are great at embracing everything life has to offer for yourself and your girls.

Thank you for sharing the quote. I haven't heard of the book but the quote is brilliant - and perfect for us DBers!


M-43 H-42
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T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
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Hi IP, Bright, Sotto and Mirage :-)

It's great hearing from you all

Update
I don't lose my house. I was at the bank today and will finalize the papers at the notary next week.
By Aug 1st the divorce papers will be in front of the courts and that's its no more ties to her and her madness.

That was the good news.
The bad news STBXW is still deep in her tunnel of lala land

My d15 had a friend over. This friend liked STBXW a lot and couldn't understand that she's is just gone. D15 told her a few things. Then they both went on STBXW facebook.
Big mistake.

They saw her with OM in pictures.
Videos of them kissing, getting a matching tattoo of the date they met and STBXW with half her head shaved and dyed purple.

D15 was upset for 2 days then angry still today.

I personally avoid STBXW's and OM facebook. Seeing that can only stir up old memories.
Hopefully she will stay away from those pages.

Besides that The government called me to start their investigation on who has the girls full time.

My STBXW made a false claim that she has them full time, a single mom living in my house without me. It gave her several thousand dollars in support . They said they'd get it back and issue me the cheque in August. It's a criminal offence to do such claims with the government.

Next week it's my D15's sweet 16th birthday. I am planning a huge surprise for her. Rented a limo to Eric her and her friends around towns and to her favorite restaurant. Then back home for an ourdoor party and sleep over. I am looking forward to that night. I'm sure STBXW will pop her head out of her hole. It will be d15 second birthday her mom missed and coming up on a year since she last saw her.

Hope you are all well

(((Hugs)))

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Goodness me Irish - that must have been hard for your D to see. We all want Mum to be 'Mum' - ie: there for us, stable, loving and reliable.....your W is very far from that now.

Purple hair, tattoos, shaving - ugh...at least when things are so bad it must be clear to you that you truly don't want to be with the woman that she is just now. I'm sad for your D's though - however, those sound like lovely plans for your D's 16th and I'm pleased things are settled in terms of the house.

Golly, can't believe that about the government support. That's a pretty blatant lie, given that she doesn't even see the girls. The fraud team are going to be all over that one would be my guess - it just shows that she really isn't thinking straight.

I'm glad for your girls that they do have one stable and loving parent, because that makes such a difference.

Hope your birthday surprise goes well xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Irish,

I'm very glad to read that you are going to be able to keep your home.

I'm so sorry that your D15 saw the FB page of your wife's. That had to be an awful shock for her. I'm sure she'll be angry for quite a while. She may revisit those pages again just to see what her mother is up to...but I hope not. Her mother has completely lost the plot.

As for the government...they are going to have a difficult time getting that support money back from your STBXW. She's probably already spent it. They may end up taking it from her salary and could very well put her in jail for fraud. She's going to be facing some of her consequences for her actions very soon. I sure wouldn't want to be in her shoes.

The birthday surprise that you have planned for your D15 will be a wonderful one. She will be so surprised and happy and this is one of many memories that she will cherish. You'll enjoy the party as well because you love doing things for your daughters and you want to see them happy. Irish, you are a wonderful father...never doubt that.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hey Irish, great news about keeping your house and about getting an unexpected gov't bonus, lol.

I think you're wise to avoid the purple haired one's FB page. Sorry your daughter had to see that, but then again, it might help her in the long run .. hard to know at 15 how she's going to process it. It's certainly not the mom she knew ... so perhaps it will help her to get some distance and realize that what you're saying about STBXW having to work through her issues is so very spot on.

You are a wonderful father. I've said it before but will say it again. Your daughter will be so surprised at her party and that's a lovely thing to do for her. She will remember this and the countless other ways you've put your girls first for the rest of her life. You realize you're setting a high bar for future mates? This is a great and wonderful thing. Keep going my friend. You're doing a great job making lemonade out of lemons. xoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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