Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 791
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 791
They are handling this well because their father is showing them dependability and steadfast loyalty. They will grow to be amazing men because of you. Continue being this wonderful father and man and you WILL be the winner, you will. Keep documenting and start seriously considering that your boys may be better off with just their father than a flaky mother who follows her own selfish desires instead of considering her children's needs.


M 10yrs T 13yrs
BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW
BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off
Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce
April '17-Letting go
2018 D busted
DD8, DS6, DS3
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 236
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 236
I think it is normal for the walkaway to detach from the kiddos. Mine has just called after 7 days. He promised to swing by to see them it is now past 5 and no show. I wish he would show half the grit you have shown for your boys. Stay strong do what is best for your boys! You are an amazing dad!

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Hugs are wonderful things

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
S
SH_ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
Originally Posted By: JimKao
Painter
I think the boys are bonding with me more. S2 and S4 are getting a lot of attention feom me, they keep wqnting to be held and hugged.

When I out them for naps one of the S6s hugs me for 2 to 5 minutes.

They have been listening more and help out around the apartment.

For all they have been through I am amazed how well they are handling this.


Because you are an amazing father, and they can feel it in the midst of the chaos. Keep your focus on them and steer clear of the circus and you will continue to provide great joy and comfort for those lil guys. Well done my friend, well done indeed.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
J
J5K Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts and words.

STBX finally sent a text on Sunday to confirm exchange time. I confirmed the time with her and she did not mention anything about me meeting her closer to the border.

She then texted to see if she could speak with the boys but they were napping and I said I would have them call after they wake up. She spoke with them later that evening.

Yesterday we did the exchange. I said my goodbye to the boys and STBX had a sour look on her face every time I looked at her.

I informed her that S7's medicine and S2's lotion for his eczema was in the bag and that we fixed S7's front tooth that was chipped.

S4 told STBX that he was not feeling well as I was saying my goodbyes and she said well that is because daddy keeps taking you to the dirty pool even though I told him not to.

I did not respond to her comment about the pool. I just stated that he did not have a fever earlier in the morning.

As soon as I drove away, I could see STBX interacting with the boys and all of a sudden she gets this huge smile on her face and is a happy person.

I love seeing her like that but I wonder how genuine it is and how she can hate me so much and turn things on and off like a light switch.

I also spoke with a DB coach yesterday. He said I was doing a lot better with validation and that ridiculous responses from STBX will happen when she notices you are responding out of my normal way when she tries to push my buttons.

So I guess that is a positive for me in my development on how to handle STBX.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
S
SH_ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
Great job steering clear of the circus.
Yes, I saw many barbs as I would validate WAW. I would agree it is because they are caught off guard and stay in defense mode.

What are your plans for GAL while the boys are with her?


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
J
J5K Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
Going to dinner with a friend tonight.

Have a lot of things to still gather for L as far as financials go as STBX is not sharing info.

Laundry for the boys, clean the apartment, and make plans to go hand out with other friends later in the week.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
S
SH_ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
Nice.
I challenge you to throw in an activity for building up the mental/emotional states.
Meditation
Reading
Ted Talks
Prayer
Anything else that can build your inner strength and focus for you.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
J
J5K Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
SH,

Yes, I plan to add in some meditation and reading and ted talks, etc. Will keep you posted on how I do.

Also just received a Letter of Admissions from my L that she plans to send to STBX.

Gosh, the questions sound brutal but most are focused on her dating OMs and the amount of time she leaves the care of the boys with her parents.

This is just going to infuriate STBX!


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 563
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 563
SH:

Is there a thread with links to useful TedTalks, etc? If not - should we start one? Maybe we could have a repository of ideas, etc for those who are looking for inspiration, ideas, etc.

I know I would not know where to begin when looking for something motivational to get me out of my funk.

If you have reccos for TedTalks, books to read, other online resources, etc. I know we'd have to be careful not to promote competitors on this site - but sometimes you can learn a few things from those who are in the same space.


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard