Focus on Me and my Boys 5

[Rose888]

Painter,

I completely agree with your statements. It is a risky move even after the D. This is why I will have to wait until she actually feels a loss and makes some child support payments.

Precedence needs to be set that she is no longer a SAHM.
I plan on contacting an L in Ontario also to ensure that I can file something with the courts there also.

If it changes to 50/50 and we both live in Canada, I feel she will have her ultimate cake eating experience, whether she works or not.

Your last paragraph confuses me. Given the ages of the boys and the fact (stated by others who live there) that Ontario courts are more friendly to mothers in a divorce, it seems like 50-50 is the best scenario you can hope for if you move to Toronto.

Are you thinking you can get primary custody in the US and keep it if you move to Toronto?

[J5K]

Rose,

Yes, that is what I am hoping. Maybe my expectation is unrealistic, not sure. That is why I need to consult with an L in Ontario.

I do know that it is not easy to overturn a decision regardless of jurisdiction. Not sure what STBX would do if I offered to move there with the boys after the D.

More limbo, more waiting, more risk.

[Vanilla]

I do hope your boys stay primarily with you Jim.

V

[J5K]

Well, day 4 STBX does not call to speak to the boys.

Anyone want to take bets she does not call and just texts me to find out when to pick them up on Monday?

I know STBX is close with my MIL and I am having a hard time believing that my MIL is not telling her to call and speak to them. Did I marry into that F'd up of a family?

[SH_]

Jimkao,

Now is an opportunity to make efforts to detach.
Her not calling should not have any affect on you.
Focus away from her.
Detaching is an action, not a destination.
Take action now.

[dream]

What happens if she is awarded primary custody?

[J5K]

dream,

If she gets primary custody I will move there and also appeal to have 50/50 custody. If 50/50 can't happen then I will still move there to be close to my boys.

[Rose888]

dream,

If she gets primary custody I will move there and also appeal to have 50/50 custody. If 50/50 can't happen then I will still move there to be close to my boys.

So, if she gets primary custody, you want the custody agreement to change when you move there so she loses primary custody, but if you get primary custody, you want to move there and keep primary custody??

I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.

[J5K]

dream,

If she gets primary custody I will move there and also appeal to have 50/50 custody. If 50/50 can't happen then I will still move there to be close to my boys.

So, if she gets primary custody, you want the custody agreement to change when you move there so she loses primary custody, but if you get primary custody, you want to move there and keep primary custody??

I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.

Rose,

I get your point. I am willing to negotiate if I get custody in Michigan and decide to move up there afterwards. It would only be fair to everyone and probably the only way I could rebuild a friendship with her if I ever hope to have an R again.

[Phoebe]

Hi, JK. Just a drive by to let you know I'm still here and wishing you well.

(((((Jim and his boys)))))