Hi all.....well I've been up since 5 am...again thinking and I can not comprehend the things my h ( on paper only nowadays) has done. From an outsiders point of view it must be mad and for me living it devastating.
To summarise may 2015 I don't love you anymore, I'm unhappy August 2015 leaves me October 2015 introduces kids to ow ( I find out he's been texting and ringing for months) November 2015 tells kids he's seeing her February 2016 moves in with her
Since then if I thought his behaviour was awful before it is escalated to new heights. Refusing to pay me more money, saying he is not responsible for financially supporting me, if I can't afford the house I need to find new living arrangements, if I file for divorce hell agree..........
I believe I am done....I am going to take control and take his sorry backside to mediation and ensure myself and the kids are financially secure and I don't stress anymore.
Everything by up until this point has been dictated by his choices, how much money I get, how he hurts me and the kids, he's even trying to dictate child access. It's time to realise that the h I loved so much.....kind thoughtful, loving, is gone to me. He has turned into a selfish, self entitled monster.
Mid life crisis....probably.....everyone says so, his friends, mother etc.....but the hurt and pain he has caused me and the kids is unjustifiable. .
His choice to live with ow and her d rather than his wife and his own kids. His choice to bleat on about how he doesn't see the kids enough. His choice to abandon me and the kids...his choices now will see him slip down into a life of regret.....his choice
He has lost me, the best thing that ever happened to him
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ok moving forward, I am going to take legal advise before going for mediation so I know where I'm at. My dad has given me the money to take legal advise.
Enough is enough....how h can think he can just walk out and put mine and the kids home at risk is crazy.
He keeps baiting me to file for divorce now....not him. Saying that if he filed he would have to list negative things about me that I won't accept .
I'm glad you are going to seek the advice of a lawyer. Once you know what your options are, keep that info to yourself for the time being. Let your h rant and rave about what he'll say or do if he has to file. The only reason he's saying that is because if he files, he has to pay for the filing and he also doesn't want to come off looking like a bad guy and can then say "she filed".
Do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children financially.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm trying job, that's why i want to take legal advise before taking him to mediation for money. He's also started banging on about the equity in the house!!
He's even surprised when I said no to taking the kids to France in summer, he doesn't understand why they should miss out.......really ......because their dad walked out to be with ow, he doesn't pay enough to keep roof over their heads but he wants to play Disney dad and taken on holiday. The man is deluded
Mia, you need to get the financials sorted through the court. Unfortunately telling him how to spend $$$$$ isn't going to be productive in any way. Once the court decides how much he is to pay in support & what martial property he is entitled to than he can do whatever he wants with whatever $$ is left. It may be the stupidest thing ever to vacation in France BUT that is not your decision to make anymore.
His actions are his actions and you can't control what he does. You CAN and SHOULD seek legal advice and sort out the financial & visitation aspects. Unfortunately as awful as it is taking the kids to France with or without OW isn't your choice.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Wow spoke to mil last night. She's taking the kids away this weekend and shed invited my h. He was hankering for an invite for ow but my mil was adamant she just wanted to c her grandkids.
Anyway she said that he's not coming on the trip as he says that he wants the 5 of them to be a unit ( as in him, her my kids and the daughter) so he's missing out on an extra weekend seeing the kids . All his crap about child access and when he gets an extra weekend he's not taking it...because of her...he's mad
Hi Mia, that's interesting and a nice show of support from MIL who clearly isn't happy about recent choices he has made. Yes, if he hopes OW will be readily accepted by all, he may be disappointed. Though in your sitch I understand they actually didn't get together until after you guys had S?
Hope things are going well for you otherwise Mia, and just keep moving forwards :)xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Mm mm Sotto, they were together b4 we separated...constant talking and texts...just because he won't admit it doesn't make it less true.
Twinmom I disagree, I have not given consent for h to take the kids to France, I have not denied access just not this. He seems to think him, her, d and our kids are a 'unit' ...... Please
I am waiting cheque to clear so I can see a solicitor. He is completely mental
Wow spoke to mil last night. She's taking the kids away this weekend and shed invited my h. He was hankering for an invite for ow but my mil was adamant she just wanted to c her grandkids.
Anyway she said that he's not coming on the trip as he says that he wants the 5 of them to be a unit ( as in him, her my kids and the daughter) so he's missing out on an extra weekend seeing the kids . All his crap about child access and when he gets an extra weekend he's not taking it...because of her...he's mad
