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Hi Sara,

Nice to see you over here. smile I just posted in your thread.

Yes, I think stuff is catching up with H. I think his and my R is probably the most challenging he has been in - which was why he stepped out of it, OW is like memory foam, it sounds like.

My health is actually better than it has been in a long time. I have recovered from a bad winter where I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I think a healthy lifestyle and my supplements help keeping me well, but the climate here is also much, much better for my body. I have none of the aches and pains that held me back when I lived with H. I experienced this improvement last time I was here, too. I don't know if some of it is emotional.

Work is taking a lot of my time right now, but I walk my dog 3 times a day and take her to off-leash areas where she plays with other dogs and I chat with their owners. I'm starting to know some of them as regulars.

I'm also participating in some art activities, and hope to take a weeklong class in August. On Friday, there's a meetup art group dinner that I've signed up for.

I talked to a friend about going paddleboarding one day this weekend!

My son and I do small things together that we both enjoy. Luckily, we share a lot of interests, like thrift store shopping and cooking.

I also am working on building my holistic health practice, but it's been slow so far, in spite of my efforts. I'm going to see if I can find any health fairs to participate in, and we're having an open house at the wellness center I rent space at.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Long day at the computer. Deadline tonight and still working for a little bit longer. Three walks with the dog and yummy dinner by son.

It's been an even-keeled day. I have felt happiness again. It's been so long that it really stands out when it happens. Nothing special happening to trigger it, just a feeling of happiness from the inside. Sometimes I feel a little teary, but it doesn't take hold.

I got my first client for my holistic health practice today, which was a biggie! A result of direct marketing.

Also got another interesting request that may lead to more work.

It doesn't seem my work life ever is the problem...

So not much to update today. Except that if you think happiness is gone for good, don't despair.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
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Painter,

I am glad to hear you had a good day. Congratulations on your first client.

I pray your business thrives quickly!


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
J5K #2688635 07/01/16 05:57 AM
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Yeah for you, Painter! Congratulations on your first client and I am so glad to hear that you had a day with genuine happiness in it again. Even-keeled days are good ones in my mind, too. frankly, any day without tears is a good one in my mind. smile

That clause in your separation agreement is definitely a sexist and controlling one. I hope that you are able to get it changed soon.

I hope today brings you peace and continued healing.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Phoebe #2688639 07/01/16 06:10 AM
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I have never heard of a case where alimony was continued even when the spouse remarries. That's why many who receive alimony don't remarry. If you could get him to remove it, that would be great, but it's pretty standard across the board for it to stop when the spouse who receives it gets remarried.

It's great that work is keeping you busy, and you are keeping busy GAL. Also that you and your son hang out and you enjoy doing things together.

You are certainly building a nice life for yourself!

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Thanks, all, I'm happy to be able to report some good things and feelings in between all the misery. Jim, I am honored to be included in your prayers and appreciate it very much.

Phoebe, I hope you will soon be able to report something similar. It was unexpected but very encouraging.

I am second-guessing myself a little because I worry that I'm happy because H is not as happy as he perhaps expected to be, and that he misses me... I don't want to be happy about his lack of happiness, but it does make me feel like he is not as emotionally 'off' as I thought he was when he did this.

H agreed to change the agreement to let me keep 2/3 of the alimony if I remarry. I think he understood that it would keep me from moving on in an unfair way (alimony doesn't increase if he gets a partner), and it puts an undue financial burden on any potential future partner. It's definitely better than the current provision!

Ginger, I know it's common, but I think it's very sexist for both men and women. It conveys the attitude that women (who usually receive alimony) are to be taken care of financially by men.
I wish now that I had it structured as settlement payments instead of alimony.

I reached my goal last night so I have less work to do today. I think. crazy


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Hi Painter, sorry if I haven't fully understood where things are up to and how they work over there. We have gone down the settlement route with a clean break - then your life and funds are your own if the D finalises.

I know KML always posts that she regrets going down the alimony route as her H thought he paid 25% of his salary for years and begrudged it (it was more like 10% I think...)

For us, we looked at our whole assets and took off what we each came in with. We then divided the rest 50/50. It worked out quite well for me as I had bought assets in and XH had a very successful 12 years in his business when we were together (Moi as background support maybe?? grin)

Anyway, do press forward with whatever suits you best financially and take care. Glad you have had a better few days.

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2688713 07/01/16 11:04 AM
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In our situation, there were no assets. A combination of bad luck (unemployment) and poor decision-making left us with nothing to divide. The only asset is H's income, which is fairly high.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,450
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So - I'm checking and can report that today, my internal feelings of happiness reached new heights and I felt as excited and happy as if I were going on a date (which I was not). confused

I think this must be some kind of chemical reaction in my body because there is nothing going on in my life to elicit such feelings. Maybe the Ghirardelli dark raspberry chocolate and coffee I had for lunch? Dark chocolate does contain serotonin and makes us produce endorphins. If that's what it is, I'm stocking up - and can recommend it!

I went to an artist's meetup gettogether and met several nice people, and ended up renting studio space! It was ridiculously cheap and no limitations to access, and they display and sell my art if I want to. So now I will actually have to set aside time for art and not get distracted by dishes and work and such nonsense. wink


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,081
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Posts: 1,081
Maybe you were genuinely happy because of those wonderful developments you mentioned? A good MertUp, and acquiring a space in which to create art, to be in closer contact with other artists when you do so, and to have a way to market your art, all at the same time! That is awesome and I am so excited for you!

If the chocolate helped, then do much the better. smile

Hugs, Miss Painter. So glad for you.

And great job on getting that clause reworked. Way to stand up for yourself.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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