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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Letter to WH

Dearest xWH,

I received a letter from you telling me you are going to sue me in the highest court in the land and that you want more money.

In fact this is what you said:
Now that our D is finished I want money. Pay me what you owe me or I am taking you to the Old Bailey. That is going to cost a lot of money and you will pay all my legal fees. I want a lot of money from you, in fact I want all the money I paid into our joint account for bills back as I should not have to pay for very much. What's mine is my own. And you promise me all my money back so that's a contract I am going to enforce.

Sell your home or mortgage it and pay me in the next 14 days before I go to court.



I guess I must accept that there is truth in it because after all:

You only took showers whilst I had baths, which uses more hot water.

Women clearly use more toilet paper than guys, so the cost there is heavy. Perhaps you didn't flush every time so you used less water.

I replaced the broken down washing machine with a new one and naturally you didn't wash your sheets as often as I washed mine. There is some justification too because I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher which clearly uses more dishwasher powder. So I must pay for all that.

Maybe the cleaner didn't hoover your room and the window cleaner wash your windows? I didn't notice.

Perhaps you really didn't have those holidays abroad? That's in my imagination too, especially as I worked long hours and you played golf all day.

Perhaps you didn't eat anything either, that would explain why you can have a refund?  I know I didn't get the foods you liked ever so that matters. I now understand that Apple juice was your sudden preference, how could I have not understood. I know I am the most selfish person in the world too so you are entitled to funds for that.

You need compensating for the fact I bought the wrong bacon perhaps?

Clearly Sky Sports is free to view as well and all the golfing you watched on a pay as you go basis was minimal.

You didn't use the tumble drier either. None of your bedding ever wore out and you have never walked on the carpets.

I had an elderly cat who ate more than the average Albanian whilst your family visited and never got fed. 

You never used the WiFi quite clearly so you needn't pay for that.

You never broke anything or burned a pan or cooked. No contribution needed there then. And you never switched on lights and plugged anything in.

It's quite clear you occupied no space in the house which as you point out was mine so you shouldn't pay for anything. However now you have moved you have rent to pay so I should pay that for you otherwise you could move back in. Assert your marital rights.

The garden doesn't grow or need tending and obviously furniture doesn't need replacing and there is no decoration to do. Besides it's 'my' house so I should do all those things whilst you lounge on the sofa and go to the pub. I must pay for the paint too.

All of my money must go to pay bills of course that's fair, I need to pay for your company by paying for all birthday family and other functions.

You smoke drink and gamble and your money is yours naturally to do with as you choose. When you run out then it's my responsibility to give you more as I have some and you have less.

You don't want to work, that's too stressful and why should you when I can work to provide. Besides any work you do in the business should be paid at exhorbitant rates, when you bother to turn up.

You received a very large redundancy payment in February and it's gone by September? That's clearly yours too to spend as you like and you can buy two expensive cars (the first I know you didn't like so of course it's ok to replace it). I only need a beat up old van. That's fair.

Your large pension is yours and there is no need to draw it when I have work I should be doing, although I clearly don't earn enough and invoice properly. I am truly incompetent as a business woman and my 35 years in business has been a waste of time. My qualification are clearly inferior to yours, my staff are incompetent and of course you always know best on everything.

You can put your petrol and car insurance on my credit card.

You can suddenly decide you can't afford to pay bills at a moments notice and stop. That's ok, I have to make up the shortfall. And it's fine too because I have no mortgage to pay, you can live at the big house free of charge, go on holiday and take your friends and of course I pay the bills. Your family can use the seaside flat without contributing.

Oh yes, you can buy all of your Xmas Presents out of our joint account and give your family cash gifts because you always have done so. I don't drink much and can't afford new clothes that's ok because you can buy rounds in the pub.

I pay for your sports club membership and it's ok for you to cancel it and take the refund. Absolutely ok.

I can pay for you to take your OW out too, after all you need the company and I can't afford to go out.

It's fine for me to drive if you drink although you are ashamed of me as I am an old fashioned bag lady with a van you won't be seen dead in, apart from late at night when you need a lift if you have been drinking. My clothes don't 'do me any favours either' except when I am doing the things needed to make money.

Yes you need compensating because I am ugly, fat and balding. I do believe some guy successfully sued his W for an ugly baby and that sets a pecedant.

Your are entitled to a big chunk more after all our marriage lasted a long time: 9 months. I should pay for you being on match.com trolling for OW throughout our M. It's fine to tell everyone your W is a 'dog' like most of the women on the dating site because clearly she is.

You can walk out and never pay another penny for anything, the cash you took to clear gambling debts needn't be repaid but any minor expenditure of yours needs reimbursing. You can come and go as you please of course, taking whatever you want of mine, leaving your unwanted things for me to store. You can take all the wine from the wine cellar to drink too, that's ok. You can have the TV, and all electrical goods. Especially the expensive stuff. The work lap top, nice printer are yours.

I must of course comply with every single little demand or whimsy of yous. Your requests are always reasonable.

It was OK for you to force me to put my home on the market and to reduce the price, after all you need cash. It was OK for us to get M and you not tell me that you were going to be made redundant and had made up your mind to never work again.

It was fine for you to rant every day and threaten me, I know I was infuriating and particularly slow in paying. Now it's ok to take me to court and of course I must pay up or pay your legal fees on top. The amount I need to pay you is your choice and you are so broke that clearly I must pay all your debts. Apparently I promised that, for richer and for poorer. You richer and me poorer.

I am useless now I am ill and as you say you don't do ill. You have told me you would be better off if I were dead and of course I am so useless that I might as well be. Perhaps the worms in my brains will get me in the end, athough it's going to be costly to get my head examined so I had better leave that.

I had to have my hair cut and buy some cosmetics that's an expense and clearly that had no effect at all so I could have given the cash to you. I don't deserve a social life and the odd cappuccino I buy is a waste of money that I could give to you for nights in the pub. I must stop paying for medicines they are in essential although your cigarettes are a must have buy. My friends are dreadful so it's a waste of time seeing them or entertaining them, they are so boring. SInce my father should smother my mother that will save on a birthday and Xmas present each year.

Naturally the law is your side because you need 40,000 a year to live on and I only need 11,000. So I should pay you a lot of money and pay your fees to sue me.

It is ok for me to be bullied, gaslighted and stolen from. After all I married your sorry ass.

More fool me.

Thank you

V

What a joke he is. I'm not sure how the law works in your part of the world, but I am pretty sure my L would laugh at his threats. The two of us already had a pretty good laugh when we looked over H's back statements. Always dry at the end of the month with no bills paid and nothing to show for it. Nothing has changed. I am the loser who had the small income, yet he is the one who is still broke--with a subsidized rent and much higher salary. They are so entitled it is laughable. But the law doesn't work the way they want it to. It's easy to say don't give him head space, but I was guilty of letting mine rent a room this past week so I know that telling you not to do it is not the best advice. I realized that sometimes I just have to let him rent the room, but while he is there I go about my business and ignore his noise, and deal with the inconvenience until he checks out. It is uncomfortable, but it goes away and housekeeping will make sure once he's gone there are no lingering stenches--until his next visit.


40s 2teens M14Y
BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14
BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14
EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues
Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15
D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
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Lady V,

First let me tell you how I loved your letter to the d bag that was you H.
Second let me tell you I have a lot of words that I could use to describe him, but they would be edited so we won't go down that road.

Third, know that you are in my prayers daily and I hope that there are more moments of peace in your days to come, both from the crazy that is your xh and with your health.

(((Vanilla)))


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Hi V,

Obviously, you should dismiss xWHs letter as sheer tripe (unless he is running for President of the United States crazy ). But I am sure it still hurts to get letters like that. I still have trouble accepting that there is someone out there who detests me so much, because I consider myself pretty likeable.

(((V)))

RAI


Me 48 XW 45
lots o' kids
D April 2017
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Thank you for responding and I am marinating a little.

I am sort of ok, a little distressed.

XWH put an objection to the D so I am not D yet.

ThE nisi is done, the objection is 3 months wait, then I can apply to finalise the D. Thats 28 August 2016.

More waiting.

Still not D.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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"Your struggle is your strength. If you can resist becoming negative, bitter or hopeless, in time, your struggles will give you everything."
— Bryant McGill

(((((Vanilla)))))

I appreciate all the positive messages and wise thoughts in the world and felt inspired to share this one with you.

May you find some peace and calm this day sweet lady V.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Sep 2015
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(((V)))


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Lovely news

Glam sis and clever nephew turned up to share his exam results.

Lovely and wonderful evening, family day.

Congrats clever nephew.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Lovely news

Glam sis and clever nephew turned up to share his exam results.

Lovely and wonderful evening, family day.

Congrats clever nephew.

V

Family is the our blessing. I had a wonderful outing with family earlier this week. I am feeling kind of friendless lately, but there is always family.


40s 2teens M14Y
BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14
BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14
EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues
Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15
D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,081
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So glad to hear that you've had some good news. I hope the trend keeps on!

(((((Vanilla)))))


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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That's great - a big well done to him V!!! Have a lovely weekend xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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