A meditative state is a place of peace and calm. Do we not all want to maintain such a state permanently? Matthieu Ricard seems to have accomplished this. I would not mind following in his foot steps. No, my W is simply a WAW.
May you experience moments of peace my friend. it is a state of mind that we can choose.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Hi SH, been off site for a while, was getting a bit laden down with the posts, so was trying a bit of cold turkey, this process is 1 step forward, 2 steps back, looking into the future is the worst thing one can do, still looks pretty bleak, no change in my sitch, beginning to look more like midlife crisis, not that it changes the outcome any, anything new your end?
It can do one good to step away from the forums for a period of time. I hope that it did you well. As one goes through this, it is beneficial to not look into the future and live in the moment. It can minimize the pain and heighten the joy.
Changes in situations such as ours will take time. As cadet says, we have been given the gift of time. Use it well. What are you doing to use the gift of time well for yourself?
My sitch is closer to the d that she wanted. She avoids any contact or communication except to ask for money or mor time with d5. I ignore it all, and try to stay focused on putting one foot in front of the other for myself. I am not depressed nor anxious of late, but I have been feeling numb. One day at a time for me. Very little hope of any r for my MR, but I accept that for now. I may never know why I am in the sitch, but I am accepting that as well. I am either just dumber than I would have ever thought, or she has had a serious breakdown and does not realize it. Non of it makes sense. And sloth at is my current situation.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Thanks SH, i have to accept that R is not going to happen, I sat opposite her yesterday, she looks and sounds like my wife, but she is not anymore, she is a different person, who appears to have moved on, discussing finances as if wurt a friend, it is all I can do to hold it together while my stomach churns, I long for the day when she has no impact on me, seems a million years away. On top of that, my business is failing, outs a perfect storm!! Doing a meditation session today, too much stress in my head, I need some peace
Morning SH, finding it hard to focus within, I have lost me sense of self, all my thoughts seem to be from outside in. Just coming up to 6 months since BD, having more 'normal' days than at the start, but a long way from happy, more like Groundhog Day !!
Martin, what steps and actions are you taking each day to be able to focus within?
Work. It will take concentrated efforts and work to change the influences on you from the outside. We all have the ability, but we must exercise the mental muscles in order to prevail.
Time. It will take time, but regular and consistent effort will change the tide for the waves that crash upon us.
Hope. Hope is the ingredient that can propel us forward in the days and moments that we feel we are standing still, moving backward or riding up and down on the emotional roller coaster.
Knowledge. This is what arms us to be able to put in the work, be patient with the time and feel the hope needed to push forward.
Please share how you are working towards the healing that will benefit you, the strength that will make you a stronger person and the hope that you have for you and your families future.
Be well today my friend. Be kind to yourself and take another step forward.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Hi SH, been off line for a while, feeling a little better in myself, weekly therapy has helped plus weekly mindfulness, trying to view the situation more objectively, have been keeping busy but weekends suck. Have pretty much accepted there is no reconciliation, w had to say the words again, hurtful, but probably essential, denied om is still around, but I am certain he is, although end result is the same, I realise I am looking for confirmation of the reason for the split, even if Om is the reason, w will never admit it!! But I guess I am trying to shift the blame away from me Starting to discuss finances, I have been avoiding this, but needs to be done, keeping up gym, dancing, bridge nights and reconnecting with old friends and family, but the pain remains, but more acceptable days now, have learned that I need to block out any memories of life with w to be able to move on, strangely not found much anger yet . How are things with you? Has th D been filed and by whom?
Hello Martin, I am doing well. Taking a day at a time, but I am moving in the right directions. I am a bit impatient as I want things to move forward but paitience is a challenge for me. I was under the impression she filed the d but I have not received anything and my L seems somewhat in the dark. I am almost I complete NC with her except an occasional communication about d5.
How are you doing?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
