Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 2

[SH_]

You are one he// of a woman taking on so much with your career, move and young children.
And all the work you have put into putting yourself back together after such deplorable behavior by the man that you married.

You are already a woman that only a fool would leave. You will only get better with each passing day that you put one foot in front of the other on the path you are taking. You will stumble, you may even trip and fall, but each time you get back up, the strength, bruises, and scars will only add to the beauty that you radiate.
You are truly a lighthouse.

Be safe in your travel to your new home, be strong for those children, and stop to experience the peace and calm that you deserve on this journey.

You are an amazing woman Sara. Don't you let anyone tell you differently. And more important, don't you forget that.

(((Sara)))

[JksD]

Sara,
Have a safe trip and keep on keeping on!

[sr9e2d7]

Wow! When I read your story I feel like you're just writing my life. You are so strong and I read what you write to find strength.

[PsySara]

Hi Painter!
I lurk in your thread all the time. I feel like a famous person has stopped by, lol!

Rose888,
You're welcome to stop by and comment anytime. I am not as together as I seem. Every day is still a battle with detaching.

SH,
I am trying not to go down bitter roads but when I think about how much I am willing to do to save my marriage while my WH wallows in his immaturity/MLC?whatever, I get enraged. I am practicing a LOT of DBing just to keep my dignity. Thank you for the positive words, they help a waning sailor.

JKSD,
TRip went off without a trip so your well wishes came in handy.

sr9ed7,
My strength comes and goes. There are many a night that I am awake for hours and hours with heartbreak and anger over the cards I have been dealt in this marriage.

So the kids were perfectly behaved for the plane ride and afterward. When I arrived I was met at the airport by my cousin and his two friends. My mother's husband also showed up and helped me unpack and sort the entire house. I was overwhelmed with the immense kindness and love I felt. I have been going solo for so long I was expecting more of the same. But now my entire house is unpacked and sorted in 24 hours!!! It's a miracle.

Tomorrow the two older kids start summer camp and I will be interviewing the nanny on Tuesday. My WH will be arriving tomorrow as well. HE decided to drive instead of fly which means he will lose a day with the kids. I don't get him at all. He says he loves his children more than anything in the world but then would rather drive "for fun" and lose limited time with them. He will be here for a week and then gone for 3 weeks again.

[SH_]

(((((Sara)))))

So good to hear the trip went well and that you have so much support in your new home area. That will be very beneficial for you.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and don't worry about his loss of a day with the kids. Because it is his loss. Pathetic IMHO, as those kids need a good father and his poor behavior is spilling from you to them.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for a man that behaves more like a child than his children.

Enjoy the extra day of peace with those kiddos. You will reap some grand blessings and benefits for it.

[JksD]

Just a thought, with all the things going through his mind, could it be that driving instead of flying would help to take his mind off things?

But yup, svcks that a father can bear to be away from his children more than necessary.

[PsySara]

Well now, a BIG development in the last 24 hours. Yesterday I decided to turn up the sexy just to see if I still had what it takes and WH NOTICED majorly. I was looking for a washer/dryer for my new place and he came along. He asked to pay for it and I decided to let him. (I had been keeping boundaries firmly in place and paying my own stuff, I decided this would be a 180 for me) I was so so excited with the bargain I got (4th of July sale mixed with some other discounts)and spontaneously kissed WH. He stood there with a shocked look on his face. The rest of the day I flirted with him and kept things light. This is a big change for me as I had effectively walled him off since the bomb drop in Oct. Last night WH came to me, his hands were shaking and he was even perspiring, he told me he felt consumed with guilt constantly and how it is starting to sink in how deeply he has hurt me. He apologized again and again and asked me what I needed from him. I kept my requests simple; look toward your own marriage and find out how to rebuild it, remember the worth of your wife and children. Today he called and cancelled the interview in the other state and confirmed his interview with the place near my new home. He said he will be coming home to us permanently when his contract is over in September. He was brutally honest saying that OW still had a huge draw for him. He even requested for me to come to his work state with the kids for the next 3 weeks so he would feel "protected" from the temptation to return to her. He admitted he was horribly confused but one thing he did know, that he would be losing the most important person in his life if he lost me. HE felt awful about how much he hurt me and asked repeatedly how he could help me heal.

So...there it is. I am still extremely cautious and continue to remind myself, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. My 180 is ongoing and I continue to work on me. But who knows, maybe we'll be one of the marriage success stories?

[lfm]

Definitely seems like a step in the right direction, but I would also say be extremely cautious. I've heard from my WW a couple of times now that she knows she needs to end things with the OM, but that the draw is still there for her. She's gone back to the OM each time and has not done anything more than push him away for a few days.

It sounds like you are hearing more remorse from your H than I have from my W, so my prayers are with you that he has come out of his fog and that you can get on the right path to try and recover your marriage.

Keep us posted!

[PsySara]

Thanks lfm, my shields are still up and locked in place. Though it's like a switch was fliped and suddenly he is doing and saying all the right things.

Today he had his interview and came home very happy, feels it's a good match. Though he would make more working nights he decided days would only suffice since it would keep him around us more. He asked if we could start seeing a MC soon, my jaw dropped to the floor. I continue to 180 and have been touching him more often, just a gentle caress or a kiss. His expression is the one I remember when we were first in love. He continually asks me if I am ok and if he can do anything to help me, emotionally, physically or otherwise. It almost seems like this is a dream and I am going to wake up soon.

He managed to do some schedule switching and will be flying in for 2 days next week to spend Eid with us. He bought some stuff tonight to surprise the kids when he gets back. Has anyone else seen a sudden switch like this to remorse? Should I be worried that this is not true?

[SH_]

Sara,

When are you going to drop the " Sad" for your moniker?