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It does kinda sound like a cheap car though... cool

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Wet Offline OP
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Vapo thanks for the smile.

How can things keep getting worse? So last night d21 tells me her pregnancy is giving her problems with her liver. The doctor wants to induce her early, perhaps going as early as the end of July.

I felt like she wasn't giving me the full story, so I texted W last night to ask her what was going on. D21 has 'cholestasis' which requires weekly treatments. The baby is especially in danger.

I texted W saying this was scary. W texted that she was "terrified". I told her I got it, given our history of having 7 miscarriages.

OK, then today s14 got arrested! Last week he used W and om's credit cards to buy some PS games. W read him the riot act. So s14 went to a store with his friends and stole a knife. His friend gave him enough to cover W's credit card charge.

The store is pressing charges, with a court hearing coming up. W believes s14 is on drugs. The police officer said s14 looked like he was "stoned". W was fed up, and told me to have him for the week. The friends are a big problem here, and today W says she wants him out of her school district. My place is in a different city.

So I bought a drug test for s14. I watched him pee, and the test came back all negative. S14 said he did better than om who failed a work drug test a month ago! Noooo!

W then said s14 would stay at my place for the week. We took away his phone which is a big punishment as he is on it all day. He said "he was sorry", and I added "for getting caught?" And he said yes. Arggghhh!

W then said we should have lunch next week. I have my suspicions about what we will discuss. But NO mindreading here.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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I am sorry buddy, that the whole world seems to be caving in on you...

I have no real advice for you and I do not want to come off a wiseass.

Stay strong and keep the faith...

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Thank you Vapo.

I have s14 and we had a calm Father's Day. I decided I wasn't going to discuss his recent arrest for the day, and just enjoy the sports that were on.

I did pick up d19 from work. I mentioned that I wish W would ride off into the sunset with om, and let me have s14. D19 responded that now that it is decided s14 will be in a different school district, that W will try and find a new, cheaper place where she does not need the $$$ for rent from om.

I pressed her, saying that the om's failed drug test at work looks pretty bad. D19 defended him saying it was probably just from his prescription drugs (she is nice and naďve - the only people who seem to blame their prescription drugs for a 'positive' drug test, are people on drugs!)

Then d19 told me that om is now drinking again (after his recent dui, he went on a drug to stop him from drinking). He was falling down drunk.

I feel horrible, in that W would rather live with this loser with what must be some serious emotional issues, than with me. I know, I know, keep my focus on s14 and don't let om anywhere near our son.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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Posts: 1,277
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It's not about you, it's about her...

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Joke for today: I put my rootbeer in a square cup. Now I have a cup of beer.

Wet, it's funny but I was talking about something similar the other day. I don't know exactly when it actually sank in, but I do recall it really meaning something to me. What I am talking about is the realization that it really wasn't about me at all. I saw your post where it made you feel bad that your W would "rather be with a fall down drunk/drug-abusing abusive man" than with you.

As V said, it's not about you. While that's rationally obvious, it occurs to me that it may not have really fully sunk in.

It's really about her, Wet. Her choices. You could have been a super-rich, superstar of stage and movie screen, who works to save starving people around the world in his spare time when not mentoring orphaned children. And she still would have done these things.

It's just not about you, my friend.


I hope things are well with your daughter and son, Wet.

Peace,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Thanks again AJ and Vapo.

Here is my Friday Lawyer Joke:

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, “We’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

What do you mean he replied, “I’m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?”

“45? You’re not 45, you’re 82” replied the angel.

“Wait a minute. If you think I’m 82 then you have the wrong guy. I’m only 45. I can show you my birth certificate.”

“Hold on. Let me go check” said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned.

“Sorry, but by our records you *are* 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82…” crazy


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 942
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How quickly things can turn, in our case on the children issue. D21 (who lived with me for a couple of years) had a disagreement with bf's parents over rent. D21 and bf will now move in with W and om - today?! She is due in August, and will have W there to take care of baby while she finishes school and works.

D19 and s14 were living with W. D19 was the one thrown under the bus. She is working at a mall 10-15 miles away for the past several weeks. W has mostly driven d19 to and from work (d19 has no license). And W called me last night and said this is costing her $125 per week (?!) So W is kicking d19 out of her place, and d19 will move in with my sister and BiL who live walking distance to d19's work.

And now the great news. W agreed (at least as of last night) that s14 can stay with me at least thru the summer. grin We then discussed where s14 would go to school in the fall - since W is not moving, if s14 lived with her he would go back to his old school and bad group of friends (witness his recent arrest for shoplifting with his "crew").

But she mentioned that where I live there is a really good high school. Maybe s14 should live with me in the fall and start over with a new group of friends?

We will see. Our custody hearing is in a week and a half.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 942
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Ahh, W has already changed her mind. As next week's child custody hearing approaches, W texted me yesterday that I will not have s14 for even 50% of the time, and instead I will get him "a few days each month" (Friday night she told me I could have s14 for the summer). Yes, this is a battle worth fighting for.

I saw d21 Wednesday night, as her move-in with W approaches. We spoke about her pregnancy, school and her job. I did give her a gentle warning about om, given that he is drinking again, that she should be careful as he has in the past had angry outbursts when he drinks.

D21 was not concerned - she told me that last August when om was arrested for breaking into W's place and domestic assault upon W (charges later dropped), that he was so depressed that he attempted suicide by talking a handful of W's pills. I did not know of om's suicide attempt. D21 brushed it off as om gets depressed when he gets drunk. She believes om has PTSD from when he was child and he was beaten.

Ok, ok, I realize I am making too many reports of bad things about om. Yes, I know it is not healthy to tell others om's problems, and thereby try and build myself. My only defense is that I want to make sure I have a place to write these stories down, as the court battle over custody of s14 is approaching.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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Originally Posted By: Wet
, W texted me yesterday that I will not have s14 for even 50% of the time, and instead I will get him "a few days each month" (Friday night she told me I could have s14 for the summer). Yes, this is a battle worth fighting for.


I am glad u think it is worth the fight, wet.

we are rooting for you!


M - 40's
W - 30's
Two Sons
Living together
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