I would have snooped, too. And I'd be really cold if I found that out. Is she denying that they are together?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
who uses email now a days when there's texting?! In other news, I've looked back at NYGal and your posts.
NYGAL in some post you said don't be a doormat, or plan b. I'm struggling with finding a medium, I don't know how to stop being plan b. My W pulls me in when I begin to "dim" I have a SD and obviously I am helpful with her and stuff, my friend thinks by helping with her I'm being her doormat. But, I don't want to not help with my SD because I don't want OUR relationship to suffer. Help i need to not be a doormat or plan B.
The fact of the matter is, we are all plan B when they chose the OP or even another life when there is no OP. I came to realize that. Being plan B and being a doormat, however, are two different. Helping with your SD is helping your SD, not W, and it's helping preserve your relationship with SD. That's important.
The thing that happens on here is that sometime people think they have to be mean and inconsiderate and cold and a jerk, and that's what not being a doormat is. Read Divorce Remedy again and again. MWD does NOT talk about being a jerk. She talks about being nice! And about taking care of ourselves, and having a life, and setting some boundaries. Her message is NOT - and I can't stress this enough -- to be an a$$hole to our spouses!!! If you want to "win", be a jerk and you'll be able to be self-righteous. If you want your M, be the kind of person your spouse would be a fool to leave. That person is a good and a loving person -- even if sometimes the loving is given to ourselves.
I hope that makes sense. Re-read DR and talk to a coach.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Yes, I don't want to be anyone's plan B or a doormat but I will still be considerate....but I need to make sure the set boundaries are not overstepped.
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
I read a thread between you two, Question what do I do when she temperature checks? example, two days ago she texted asking if she could water the grass (I've always taken care of the yard, and still do) example 2. she texted me to let me know she cleaned the cat's litter box. (yes, he's my cat but resides in the house) -is this a temp check? so many new words and stuff I'm learning! My W does initiate contact when I am "dim" most of the day, or for more than a day.
I am most certainly not a jerk, but because I am kind and being the best Clearte I can be - am I being a doormat? my close friend seems to think so. This doormat thing's still foggy.
I do want to make sure if she does bring up D or permanent Separation that she leaves the best Clearte she's known.
A week or so ago she told me through tears she's proud of who I'm becoming, that she sees the Me she fell in love with but that she was still confused and wasn't sure we'd be reconciling. (In the beginning she told me she was sure we would not reconcile)
She texted today but I was mad about the email so I stayed dim. She said she was having a bad emotional day.....hmmm could be cuz u are planning a trip with ur AP while still married??
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
