Almost 10 weeks since she said she didnt love me

[Natus]

I thought she was moving out of the home.

So did i then 48hours later she asked for MC.

Its her last day on the job tomorrow for half a day. I suspect shes is flopping back and forth. It doesnt seem like she will move out now.

Anyhow i decided just getting a token gift. A couple of pens (not expensive ones) to congratulate her on starting her new job.

I think i made a mistake, when she asked for MC i sort of let down my guard. Starting being over husbandly but after a week there no changes in actions or attitude.

I need to go back to DB. Start making plans for myself.

Hey Natus, the only way to detach is to literally not care about what she does and where she goes. If she really cared, she'd actually have wished you happy fathers day.

As for the space that you're in... well the way i see it, you have obvious choices regarding your MR. You can throw your all into it and fight for it. But ask yourself, what are you fighting for?

If you're fighting for a good woman that you know will bring you happiness, then you fight.

If you give up on it, then know that what happens to us are all in God's plans, we just don't really understand it until we take a real step back and look at whats happening, who we've become and where we're going.

Figure out what you want in life. They say that just the idea of putting your foot out of the door, means that you're already out of the door.

In the grand scheme im only 3 months in. I guess i am impatient. Just going to step back and do my thing for a whilst keeping the door open. Been eyeing a motorcycle for awhile.

[Natus]

On side note, arrived into office this morning after being away for a day to a little note "#whereareyounow" left on my table along with a few more smiley faces.

That brightened an otherwise quite shitty morning. Shut down by W, forgot my work pass resulting in having to drive back home (thankfully 10 mins away) and then slamming car door on my thumb.

[Natus]

Fubar. Im going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now.

Mums the word right? Just duct tape and chug on.

[JksD]

Chug along Natus, you can do it.

Just use the smiley faces as boost for your pma. And nothing more. Doodler has staked his claim on smiley face girl.

And go for the motorcycle. I used to want one so I am going to live vicariously through you.

[blueboy]

Natus, keep strong, live a day at a time!

[doodler]

On side note, arrived into office this morning after being away for a day to a little note "#whereareyounow" left on my table along with a few more smiley faces.

Natus,

I'm jealous! I haven't gotten any notes or smiley faces from smiley face girl. It's as if she doesn't even know I exist.

[DDJ]

Doodler, i think she's met your WW perhaps?

[Natus]

Focusing on me, hope i can make it last this time.

Went out last night for coffee. Spontaneously as was waiting for adopted son to finish training. Chatted with some ladies and bumped into my high school maths teacher who happen to own coffee shop. Still feels weird, like being out alone somehow is cheating. I've been a husband for so long this is alien to me.

Visited Harley dealership this morning and gave them my details to see if can qualify for hire purchase loan. If not going to have shop around for used one.

lifting more at the gym too.

[Natus]

Might i also qualify that getting a motorcycle now may piss off the W. I have yet to schedule getting my new tattoo.

Its her last day at work today. Monday she starts her new job. I dont have hope anymore, new job, no contact with OM or not. I just feel angry.

[Natus]

I pull back and she pursues. I dont get it.

Two days ago she told me again she wants to leave and she doesnt want any physical contact with me. This is a few days after asking for MC and a few days before that saying she wants to leave.

So yesterday and today i dropped the rope. Did me a solid, went out and socialised, visited motorcycle dealership. Hanged out and have fun with S5. She was unaware of all of this by the way. My mindset was to get fully prepared for eventual separation and the big D.

Then she acts all nice and tonight she kissed me.

Someone please explain this to me.

I cant drop my guard, last time i did she went cold turkey and wanted to move out again.