Thanks again for the support. That is a great idea. I will write down what I want in a relationship. Great advice.
I also would not want STBX back 6 months from now. I would consider dating her again but to her point probably years down the road.
I will continue to DB for 3 years after the D is final with the door slightly open for STBX. Who knows I may end up on this board as long as Sandi has been here.
I have a lot to learn and would like to give to others.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Well, psych appointment is rescheduled for the boys in two weeks.
This week I have been waking up in the middle of the night again and first thoughts go to WW and OM. This stinks.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
That does stink. I've been having those thoughts too. I have been using Thought Stopping techniques, I try to remember poetry I had to recite in high school, replay scripts from my favorite movies, think about books I am reading. It helps sometimes, give it a try. Research shows if you can distract your brain for 2 minutes then it can help stop and lessen intrusive thoughts.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
I'm so sorry - you know I've been struggling with the same problem lately. It's really painful and upsetting.
For the last 24 hours, I've felt completely calm and pain free. I don't know why, if it was after drawing class because I focused so intensely, or if just my mind and body had enough. I have no idea if it will last. I hope you get a similar break soon. It is encouraging that I can feel so normal, I haven't felt like this in months.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
SadSara is right on target, Jk. Those thoughts are destructive and just add to your pain. Like everything else you feel, acknowledge the thought and then let it pass on by, replacing it with something better, more positive, amusing, constructive... anything at all.
Putting your focus on WW will ultimately only hurt you, so put your energy into thinking of something else. With time it will become easier to recognize that your brain is just stuck in a groove that you need to nudge it out of.
(((((JimKao)))))
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Thank you everyone. I try to think of something else but it is very difficult. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I'm still committed to her and my M.
She has not called the boys for three nights now. I'm assuming she's on vacation with OM.
Are you sleeping pills every once in awhile but somehow my thoughts still go to her when I wake up in the morning.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
That should say I use sleeping pills every once in a while
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
So STBX sends a text this morning asking me to call her to speak to the boys.
I don't even know how to respond. I feel like if she wants to speak with them she should just call.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
