My little slice of Life..

[Tofbrks]

Thanks Sandi , I would never sign anything like that anyway... Especially if financials are involved which I highly doubt. I think it's more towards freedom to do as she pleases- see who she pleases - when she pleases- NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!...she keeps the wayward hid very well because the fake mom of the year face and life serve her purposes. Yesterday she told my daughter she was acting like s slut for playing with some boys in the pool... She's 13... Wth...really hard on her especially about lying ... Which I don't approve of either but she puts such pressure on her and Hawks over her friend choices, BF choices , who to talk to , what to say on Instagram /snap chat Ect. Any signs here or just more batsheot crazy ww stuff?

[sandi2]

The signs can be seen by her attitude toward her H and the MR.

[Tofbrks]

Yes yes yes Sandi.. She even told me when I was inquiring about affair / affairs that why would she want another she didn't want the one she had...ouch!

[Tofbrks]

Yes yes yes Sandi.. She even told me when I was inquiring about affair / affairs that why would she want another she didn't want the one she had...ouch!

Another man they is...

[GordonG]

Tofbrks,

I feel your pain, I was played like a grand piano during MC as well. You head is spinning, do not agree to anything without consulting a L. The only documents that have any meaning are ones issued by the court. Be strong and detach from her crazy demands. She has a plan, they all do.....

GG

[Tofbrks]

Are you seeing her wayward, now?

My advice is not to agree to one single thing until you get legal advice where you stand. If she is wanting to bypass lawyers, someone has told her she'll get more her way. Protect yourself, and what's yours.

Sandi at times I do see the wayward side ...I have been unable to prove an affair of any sort just assumptions and guessing. I use this thought ...she is leaving this marriage I think/she has said because she has no love and thinks I will not return. And I am supposed to think she is not seeking something that is obviously important to her .. That she isn't looking to fill this void...it's like being at a good restaurant an having food and they don't have anything to drink...your thirsty as well as hungry. You eat but still thirsty. You eventually leave because of your thirst. The first thing after leaving would be to get something to drink...?
I guess I haven't dropped the rope yet ... She's still pulling me in with not pressing for a legal separation ... If she is so done why not move forward to something permanent?
And as far as our separation goes ... The rotate thing just bows to her ... This is s situation I had n choice in. If there is no salvaging this m, why the delay?
Maybe this is her way of controlling me .. String me along for her uses.
It's going to be s long 2 weeks as the kids and w leave for wedding and inlaw vacation.
Will need support from you guys to keep me together...

[Tofbrks]

Bump^^^^^^

[Tofbrks]

Well it's day 2 of 16 my kids will be away . It's hard when the house is empty and it's so quiet. A few things have come up since they've been away.
My W has been txt randomly about their goings on... Usually I don't respond unless it's needed. The last couple were strange. W - wedding was crazy... I send no response. W- we are leaving wedding, don't know if your getting these ... I send that I am... W- I am trying to not make you feel left out,if you want me to stop txt you I will.... Me- of course I want to hear about how hug kids are doing and what they are getting into ect...
I really wanted to say just tel me about kids , I just don't want small talk between us..
Now communication was a big problem with M , so do I need to 180 and be involved or engaged as to chitchat or txt she sends?
It's almost like she wanted to share funny stuff or up to the minute goings on like we where still together...we are not
On s side note I met with a friend I haven't seen in 15 yrs... He was in wedding to W. He has/is going through D because of an addiction. Shared some info about families ect... Then I unloaded on him , well he asked so I started and it came out over an hr or so. I outlined things going on and behaviors..not running over her but still telling things from my position. He says your too close and you don't see them..(red flags) that she's having some sort of affair. This has been a problem I've had , to not see or want to what is really going on. I've tried but can find no proof and she denies when asked ..then lays on the bs about how she's not looking for anyone else. I just find it hard to believe that this feeling or lack of is strong enough to make you leave but you aren't seeking to satisfy it?

I may never know or may come out much further down road but I have to deal with it. For some reason I see the separation freeing her and that 3 mo down road this person will emerge. Just happen to meet W and hit it off...and it's perfect .. Meant to be ... All the things that she needed...ect ect... And by Christmas she'll be wrapped up and moving on like nothing ever happened. All the while knowing this person had been there all along.. Just waiting so her reputation could stay intact. This is just speculation on my part ... But wouldn't be surprised ... She loves the holidays and family... What better way to start out a new year with a new family without me... The one that caused all this pain and the one who love had died for...

[Tofbrks]

I already know the answer and I shouldn't be asking. My w wants to separate like right now. She wants us to come up with an agreement between us ,not including any legal supervision. Which to me is insanely dumb, but didn't say that. She says she needs the yr wait time to pay off bills ect. She still hasnt uttered the word divorce. We still communicate but it is becoming strained. Should I continue to db even when her story of feelings never changing she's sticking too. Is this her way of letting me prove that she's right that I cannot change.. Action not words...don't want to give up but have so little positive to build on.

[sandi2]

Now communication was a big problem with M , so do I need to 180 and be involved or engaged as to chitchat or txt she sends?

Let me ask a question, did you dress up like Big Bird and run back in forth in front of Walmart? No? Then, do you think you should do a 180?

Should I continue to db even when her story of feelings never changing she's sticking too.

Do you have a better plan?

Is this her way of letting me prove that she's right that I cannot change..

Nope.