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poschan Offline OP
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Can you please tell me how to link to old thread?


Me: 48 WAW:40
T:14yr M:12 yr
d8
BD 2/2016
WAW moves out 6/05
Joined: May 2016
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poschan Offline OP
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just got off the phone with WAW. we discussed some of our R history. I told her I had reacted lately out of emotions and said I was sorry for that. I told her I was working on treating her with love, kindness, respect, and empathy no matter what happens between us. These are things I need to work on for my own well being. I have had to much resentment and bitterness that I know is not healthy for me. I have caught myself reacting by emotion without enough pause and replies out of love and kindness. I am not trying to convince her of anything as she says there is too much water under the bridge and all the things that she has documented that I did not do in the past. detaching is hard but I know I have to get a grip for my own sanity and well-being. thank you for all of your input and care it really helps. prayers to everyone to have better days going forward


Me: 48 WAW:40
T:14yr M:12 yr
d8
BD 2/2016
WAW moves out 6/05
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,273
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Poschan

I used to have an awful time with WAW criticising to get a rise and then had raging. I learned to notice my emotions but not get involved. I used to do the same with hers. Listen to the words there are always golden nuggets of advice - you never listen etc. Listen for those things try validating but mostly listen take some mental notes and try and act on the advice. You will find it hard but if you think of it like a game it helps. It's the "I can control my emotions like a god game". You may actually find you amuse yourself when thinking "wow you really have lost it but I have seen this before and it's ok". It's a skill set you will carry with you in life if you can do it and it's really useful. Alternatively you can try to imagine whatever she is saying Is being said in the nicest possible way. It's quite hard to do but it does help.

Someone told me that it's all about not getting sucked into the emotions, notice yours and hers understand and accept them but don't get pulled in. It's the same as noticing a raging river you see it's fast flowing and dangerous but just because you see it from the river bank it doesn't mean you would be wise to go in there and get into serious danger.

You will get better, just consciously practice it. If you find she is winding you up, get away from her. You could try listening to mindfulness apps such as calm or headspace. They really help too.


M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids
Issues2009
Wpartying w/g.f's2013on
EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR
ImeetAP/EAhalts
VariousBDDates
MFCourse
WSpew
EAresumes I halt
Wrages
DBIng4/2016




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poschan Offline OP
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Thanks Surfer. I definitely have been getting sucked into the rapids and I will tryout your advice. Thanks for the apps suggestions too I will check them out.


Me: 48 WAW:40
T:14yr M:12 yr
d8
BD 2/2016
WAW moves out 6/05
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,273
S
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They are free but I subscribe to the calm one. Don't suggest you do to begin with as there is plenty in the free versions - hope it helps. Exercise is the other great leveller. Perhaps try to avoid alcohol and cigarettes if you can - they tend to make you edgy rather than taking the edge off.


M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids
Issues2009
Wpartying w/g.f's2013on
EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR
ImeetAP/EAhalts
VariousBDDates
MFCourse
WSpew
EAresumes I halt
Wrages
DBIng4/2016




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job Offline
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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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job Offline
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I linked your old thread for you this time. To answer your question, you like your old threads the same way that you did y our new ones, i.e., you did a great job on linking the new one in your old thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jan 2000
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job Offline
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Edit:

"To answer your question, you link (not like) your old threads the same way...."


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: May 2016
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poschan Offline OP
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thanks Job and Surfer


Me: 48 WAW:40
T:14yr M:12 yr
d8
BD 2/2016
WAW moves out 6/05
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
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Drive by check in.
How is your GAL coming along?


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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