...the start of something: LRT?

[RDS]

Do you commute to work? The program I'm using right now is called "Pimsleur". There are workbooks that go with it, but it's primarily a mp3 based learning system, and the lessons are 25-35 minutes a piece. Which is exactly about the length of my commute into the office, and I'll listen to the same lesson two times in a row, once in the AM and once in the PM.

My commute is about 25 minutes during the summer and it increases to about an hour when school is back in session. I don't think I could listen and learn anything during the drive. Too many idiots on the road (of course I'm the only good driver out there ). I will still look into it. Is it as expensive as Rosetta Stone?

[betterm]

My commute is about 25 minutes during the summer and it increases to about an hour when school is back in session. I don't think I could listen and learn anything during the drive. Too many idiots on the road (of course I'm the only good driver out there ). I will still look into it. Is it as expensive as Rosetta Stone?

I don't think it's cheap, but mine fell off the back of a truck somewhere and I found it on the side of the road <cough cough>, so I've never actually looked at the price.

[betterm]

The conversations (phone) are getting a little stranger. One minute she's threatening lawyers to remove me from the house (legal structured separation), the next minute she's talking about not getting divorced and putting the pieces back together. She continues to "want to talk" about things, and I continue to tell her that I've told her everything I have to tell her about my stance on the M and the D.

Every time she "talks" to me about us, it's not "talking," it's her just asking a thousand questions about MR stuff: kids, careers, relocation (she thinks I'll leave the area once D is final), family, etc. I tell her that I'm not focusing on any of that stuff at the moment, I'm just trying to figure things out for myself. She doesn't want to "talk", she wants "answers" on whether or not she's making the right decision.

Yesterday she text me and asked if I wanted to go halfsies on a wedding gift for one of her friends she's in the wedding for. I told her that I would never have been invited to that wedding if we weren't married, and that I don't plan on going. She said its not for a few months, you never know what's going to happen in that time.... okay?

This was followed up with her texting me pictures of some shirts on sale where she was shopping. asking "hey these are on sale, want me to get you some?" I didn't reply for an hour or so and just said, "thanks, but I'm good". She apologized for the sporadic texts and said she would try not to do stuff like that anymore.

I have a feeling she thinks that if/when she decides she's made a mistake and wants to reconcile, we will just hop back into our marriage and carry on. She said she wants a family soon and hates the thought of having to start over... I haven't brought this up yet, but if, somehow, there is reconciliation, we will be starting over all together, and it won't be happening anytime soon. Frankly, I'm so far removed from thinking I want reconciliation, her having kids with me will probably be much further in the future than if she started a relationship with someone else, married them, and had kids.

I'm sticking to what I know right now, sticking to what I need to do for myself. If I choose I want her in my future, it's going to be a long, long road before any prospect of adding children to our lives even becomes a option for me. I don't need any more complications in my life right now.

[doodler]

betterm,

Last week my STBXW asked if I wanted to split the cost if season tickets for the boys for a nearby water park. I told her I would. From a financial perspective it makes sense, so I did it. If there hadn't been any financial benefit I would've told her "no."

I realize my situation is different. But, my point is that I don't look at it from a relationship perspective I look at it from a practical perspective; does it make sense for me?

[PacLove]

I got a chuckle of the photo of the shirts, I've received similar txts' from W over the last few months (not very often but a few). As for the wedding gift - I agree with you on that one. My W early on was expecting me to help pay for a trip with her and D which was planned before Separation to which I declined as I was never invited.

I do however share costs which are more mutually beneficial in nature thought, house, investments, some groceries etc.

[betterm]

Part of this is due to my W completely freaking out about her financial situation. and I don't blame her. Since I've moved my income to another account, I think she's finally seeing, just how bad she is with her spending habits. She feels I'm doing things to purposely make her life harder right now. Which, of course, is not what I'm doing at all, I'm just making my life, about my life. (more to come)

[PacLove]

Funny... I think my W might slowly be realising the same. She always said I spend way too much (I make big but infrequent purchases) meanwhile she does a lot more smaller purchases, they don't seem like a lot at the time but they add up!

[betterm]

Well, I wasn't sure about posting this, but I'm not really sure why I wouldn't after the other stuff I have posted... First off, my W is an animal lover, she has a never-ending heart and passion for the care and nurturing of animals. I'm going to be very brief here because of sad.

(very shortened story). My W took our dogs to her parents to play for the day, and in a freak accident, they killed her cat (not an attack, our 200lb dog squished her). This was her cat she left with her parents when we got our first apt together, because the cat's sister lived there as well, and she didn't want to split them up. She called me hysterical, I was in shock. I went over there, hugged her mom, offered services/condolences, got the dogs, and left.

When I came back home again, W was at the house, laying in our bed with the cats. I sat down next to her we just talked a bit about what happened that morning. It was all very sad and I just did my best to hold it together. We ended up ordering take-out, and after some piddling around the house, I eventually ended up sitting next to her on the bed again... she was binge-watching a show, we started talking again about the animals. I laid back and just kinda sat with her, we talked off an on about random things for an hour or so, no R talk at all, no awkward "are you going to sleep here?" anything like that. We were just being friends of each other, it was actually really nice.

I fell asleep, and woke up, next to my W for the first time in months. Of course, no romance, no intimacy, no 'intentional' touching, etc, we just slept next to each other... I won't lie to you all, it was very bittersweet. However, I don't feel any differently about my overall situation than I did before... My thoughts/emotions are much more tailored around the tragic event than anything related to the M. I got ready for work and brought her up a cup of coffee just before heading out. I felt bad leaving her there alone; she was crying again this morning... I love my W, her family, love those animals, this is sad for everyone, its just hard to see her grieving like this... I don't know, but I feel terrible.

[doodler]

betterm,

I'm sorry about you wife's cat. Losing an animal is very difficult.

I think you made very good choices in how you responded to the death of the cat. You showed your wife that you love her and care for her and that you're not a callous person.

You're a good man betterm.

[lfm]

Agree with what you said doodler. We had to put down two dogs not too long before the affair started, and it was a very emotional time for both my W and our kids.

betterm - I think you hanlded this appropriately and showed your wife exactly what you needed to.