Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Originally Posted By: exquisitetobe
Vanilla, Thank you so much for sharing your update.
I also suffer from this but I wouldn' t say it is ptsd for me. It is more of an intolerance to anger and not in a good way. Anxiety rise inside of me even if the anger is not even towards me. I cannot be around it AT ALL. I feel for the recipient and no matter the situation, voices should not be raise. i' m an empath. I freeze and shelter myself until it is safe to approach the recipient. To me, whatever happened is irrelevant. the situation should be handle better and no-one deserve to be yield at. It puts me in difficult situation at time cause I try to be the peace keeper and I get caught in the middle. I' m looking for a new job at the moment exactly for that reason. the atmosphere at the store is too much for me to bare. Work is great, co-workers, on the other hand seem to fight for power to nowhere.. i' ve had enough. yielling and screaming is NOT how you promote yourself just to prove a pointless point. I wish I was different and yet, I know my kindness has an impact. I love and dislike myself for it..
What would you call someone like me?


I will respond to you here.

Please give me time.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
You currently have two threads going and they've not reached the posting/reply limit of 100. As a reminder, please keep your threads to one at a time until you've reached 100 postings/replies.

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
Well. I gave my notice at work today. My anxiety has gotten the best of me for the past 3 days. My nerves are shot and my patience has left me. I tried to keep to myself but a co-worker of mine pushed me to my limit.
I have apply to many employment opportunities. Something will eventually come up. For now, I am taking a well deserve holiday!!! smile

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
My M died in 2009 just didn't see it. I would have stayed in the marriage if she didn't file and divorced me. She had more balls than I did I guess. I don't think she cheated and I know I did not. We just went different directions. I miss what I had. A family. A W and child to come to. In laws. My doggies. Two incomes. It was all gone in 16 months. Mutual friends and family had takened sides. Hard to believe. I still have nightmares wishing that that is all it was. But a bad dream it was not. It is my life today.

My life today....I remarried a woman 11 years younger than me who is gorgeous. Been married 1 year. I kept the house and able to pay the mortgage. Last Saturday I bought a new car and paid for it in full.Cash. I have 1 full time job and 3 consulting jobs. I have started my own business.

I stopped worrying about what ifs. God has a plan and I will just let him lead.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
well, so much for progress.. set back once again.
Ex- husband sold his Jeep and car to purchase abrand 4runner for current little lady and a brand new truck for him. Fine. Nice. He has plan to take our kids to Canada' s wonderland. Son is not interested in going. He has told ex-husband 3 times NO and was getting aggravated. Son just started working not long ago and we just purchased a car for him. He needs the income.

Yesterday, ex-husband calls me and tell me about a possible financial crisis coming soon. The votes are in and they are going on strike without pay. ( hum.. does not make sense to me ). He gives me the "Poor me, I don' t know how i' m gonna do this and since you and the kids will be affected, thought i' ld let you know! also, I don' t have much myself. This trip has been put on my credit card. could you give the kids a bit of money?

Yesterday, Me and daughter3 go to the bank and walk by a 4runner. she sais:" look, this is like dad' s one". we walk in and there he is at the cash machine. daughter goes to him and I continue to the counter. he said hi and kept taking care of his business while on the phone. she stood there waiting. once I was done, I walked outside and she joined me. we waited out there for at least 10 minutes. while there, I saw that little lady was in the truck. she could not even look at us.
ex- husband finally walk out and right away starts talking about son. " What is with him? what' s up with the attitude? looks like he could use a slap in the head".
me: " what!!!??? " " he told you 3 times he did not want to go. He is working those days and can not afford to miss work."

And there it was!! HUGE fight over the child support and accusation of my money management. I got sooooo angry. we yield at one another right there in the middle of the street and I walked away, pissed. Once home, the texting match started.

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
" When you are aware of potential finance problem, a responsible adult DO NOT SPEND RETARDESLY!!!! he get prepare and sells stuff if needed.
now, isn' t little lady your partner? How does she contribute in this. Shouldn' t she be trying to work WITH you to make sure it does not happen? HER- NOT ME. you discarded me. you keep telling me that your choices are none of my business. TRUE !! But your problems are also YOURS, NOT MINE !!

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Sounds like the xh is having some money problems. He apparently isn't doing any financial planning and is spending the money as quickly as he gets it. If money is tight, most normal people would cancel the vacation and stay at home. That's his problem if he doesn't have any money and I would certainly not cough up any money to help him out.

Your son sounds more responsible than your xh or his honey dew. If your son is working and has financial responsibilities of his own, then he has every right to say no to the trip and your xh needs to leave it alone. As for your other child...your xh will need to come up w/some money for the vacation since he's the one that is making this happen.

I also think he's nuts to even think about spending any unnecessary funds at this time if there is going to be some issues at work. But again, rational, mature people would not be out here spending left and right.

I wouldn't get into any more discussions w/him about the finances except to keep my eye on the support money. If he doesn't come thru, you may have to take him back to court. In many ways he's having to face the consequences of his actions and I guess honey dew will need to get a job or a couple of jobs to help sugar daddy out a bit.

Keep moving forward and try to engage w/him again about his money issues. Keep the focus on you and your children.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
Anything to stir the pot...
After our fight in main street and our back and forth texting, our agreement was:
I was going to visit my oldest with the kids and my friend ( who is my oldest' s future mother in-law ). We were going to have Saturday evening and Sunday to go hiking with them and I would leave my 2 other daughters there where he would pick them up Sunday evening. I WAS NOT going to contribute financially for it. Well, you guessed it. He texted my oldest daughter to say he would be there by noon. EVERYONE GOT QUIET !!
I was upset, angry and not a bit surprised. So, me and my friend left in the morning of Sunday and my son ( who used his own car because he left a day prior to me ) was right behind me. He was suppose to bring them back tonight and they arrived home last night.. I asked how come they were back already? They said they could not find a place to sleep.. wow.. good planning ???

Even after 7 years, he does not stop amazing me!
Peace should be restore for a while now until his child support catches up to him. Thank you for family responsibility Office!!!

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
Their " strike " is apparently up and running.. the funny thing is that no one else heard about it. Not even the news. Not even their website. Lol..

Remember everyone... don' t beleive what they tell you. They will get you right back on the roller coaster. He had me ranting and go financial info from me.. he got me!!!! Arrrrrgggg.. lol

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
E
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
Humm?? I might be in trouble. I have been on sick leave for the past 3 weeks, with an indefinite date of return. Major events happening at work and i don' t know what is gonna happen to me or to the others. Board of labour is on the verge to intervene.
I have not heard from my other, apparently, new job.
Ex-H text that i have received tonight:

" Without saying anything else. I'm letting you know that I have maybe three pay's left before the service is on picket line. Meaning off payroll with the possibility of the police service shutting down completely.
It has been confirm as yeaterday."

Oh sh*t.. this mean no income and no support for the rest of the summer.. i might have to return to work and face the music.. gosh.. i had 2 weeks to go and was able to cope only for 1 with the help of anxiety med.. the second week, i ended up in emerg with chest pain and high blood pressure. I was put off right away.
Options: find another job. Which i have been trying to OR ask my companie to relocate and start over elsewhere or go back to work here and hope i don' t crash. By the way, it is not my job, it is the atmosphere beetwin employees.. way pass drama. Problematic. Yelling, fighting, treats, set up. It is ridiculous.
I do not want to return.. God, please!!!!

Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard