My little slice of Life..

[Tofbrks]

So tonight I had d8 and friend for a date night. Wife arranged where everyone would be ... Said d8 asked to go out with her daddy! Can't turn that down.well d13 was going to movies and needed to be picked up, along with 4 of her friends. Wife sends txt after txt asking if I was mad cause I had to round everybody up. I didn't respond.. Well I did ...just with a " driving" and never sent anything else the whole nite. She was out a friends bday party at restaurant that closes at 10 and she didn't get home till 11:45... Trying not to care , didn't show it or say anything...yay! I know it was done to get a reaction out of me ...
Most times I'm like I don't give a sheet what she's doing... If it's something outside of her moral boundaries then she have to answer to God on that . I don't see the conection between loss of these morals and me too clearly... Unless she was already of such weak character that it didn't meet much resistance ... All show and lite on conviction?

It brings back a thought of a mutual friend that had her affair many moons ago to a church member with a very vindictive wife. She had flyers made of " intimate moments" and put one on every winshieldT church on Sunday!!!

[Coconut]

Tof, your sitch is pretty darn close to mine, W had turned 40 a few months before, had a close work friend of hers die at a very young age (35), and then the $hit hit the fan. We are piecing, but it's tough to be around a W who has lost that attraction...

You may want to review the first part of my sitch, lots of good advice from Sandi and Wonka.

[Tofbrks]

Thanks 'nut... Trying not to blow this thing sky f'n high when it's still manageable...that's were this how'd helps to bounce ideas and thoughts around without depiction or judgement

Thanks dude!

[sandi2]

Start here:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2545554#Post2545554

[Tofbrks]

I read thread 1 and most of 2 ... Great stuff sandi just the perspective I need. I still struggle with just simply letting go, because that last she has done... Probably a long time ago. Maybe it's me but don't think she's gone off the reservation yet but it is giving her what she wants right now. Perhaps a long EA that suddenly came available to be PA... Hence the haste..? I need to concern myself less with what catagory she may be in and focus on overcoming the fear that it may not work out... I will say with everyday that passes it becomes easier....which is scary in its own right. Several people have said that it will turn and the choice will then be mine as to R or move on.
Still find it hard to focus on me after 13 yrs of giving about all I had $ wise and emotionally ( early in the 13) to being selfish and working on myself.
Perhaps this where I gain respect back ?

[Tofbrks]

I read thread 1 and most of 2 ... Great stuff sandi just the perspective I need. I still struggle with just simply letting go, because that last she has done... Probably a long time ago. Maybe it's me but don't think she's gone off the reservation yet but it is giving her what she wants right now. Perhaps a long EA that suddenly came available to be PA... Hence the haste..? I need to concern myself less with what catagory she may be in and focus on overcoming the fear that it may not work out... I will say with everyday that passes it becomes easier....which is scary in its own right. Several people have said that it will turn and the choice will then be mine as to R or move on.
Still find it hard to focus on me after 13 yrs of giving about all I had $ wise and emotionally ( early in the 13) to being selfish and working on myself.
Perhaps this where I gain respect back ?

[Cadet]

Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka
that I totally agree with.

Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.

Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.

[Tofbrks]

Had no plans for tonight.. Just giving my self some rest. Still not sleeping the best. Wife asked what I was doing tonight... Told her I was going to meet some friends and then off from there... Different cities 30min apart
She didn't ask much more , I told my D8 goodnight txt .
I plan on going to church tomorrow ... This has been awkward ever since BD.
Plan on going , the pastor there has been with me through this whole ordeal.
Her family always cooks Sunday lunch now this is really awkward...should I go?

She baited me earlier today... One complaint she had was I just let herd dad mow our yard... Large lot .. Did the front on Thursday.. Still need to weed eat and mow the back. She txt and said she's getting my FIL to do it. Told her I was doing it !txt her dad not to worry ... This was something I had to do. Did it done end of story .

[Tofbrks]

This lag [censored]... My post was like yesterday evening as is just now on?... Does me a lot of good to post about a problem I'm having and wait ... Patience is hard to come by , but something I need to work harder on.

[sandi2]

She is definitely wayward.