MLCW, Divorce is Started

[123Gwen]

Grand-baby love is awesome!!! Congratulations Wet. So many positives and OK is really amazing when dealing with a fifteen year old.

Glad you are enjoying your own sandbox. You can build your own castle.

[Wet]

Friday Lawyer Joke:

Lawyers for John duPont think they have found solid grounds for an appeal of his murder conviction. They have discovered that he still has a lot of money.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

: )


Friday Lawyer joke:

Have you heard that cemeteries are burying lawyers 12 feet underground instead of the normal 6?

Yeah, turns out deep down they really are good people.

[Wet]

Jack, love your Lawyer Joke and other quotes. Thanx

Ok today was such a beautiful day here in town, I decided there was no way I was going to sit in on a Saturday night. I am going out to a Meet Up. Dinner and a game night that's close by. This is so unlike me.

Let's see if I can find some nice people. I have no expectations.

[Wet]

OK, my Meet Up with a bunch of Christian game-players last weekend was disappointing. There were about 20 of us, but everyone was in their 60's+. I wouldn't mind dating an older woman, but I guess I have never considered dating an older woman. The group of women I chatted with were attractive, but life-long single women (no children). I hit it off with two of them but no real connection.

I did come in 2nd to a vigorous game of Scrabble.

Let me share an odd story involving d22. When I took the kids out to dinner a couple of week's ago for s15's b-day, d22 mentioned they were looking to purchase a house. D22 just had a baby and she and her bf are living with ExW rent free.

Now what makes this weird is that d22 isn't working now. She hasn't graduated yet and has student loans. Bf is a 21 year old kid who works as a chef, which doesn't pay much. If they get their own place, someone has to watch grand-baby. I just can't imagine they are anywhere near ready to buy a place yet.

I tried to explain that their housing expense/mortgage is paid from 31% of their combined incomes. And d22 shot back unless you have 2 year's savings to pay off the mortgage. Whaaat?! I know d22 lived with me before moving in with bf's parents, and now ExW. But she can't really have that much saved up can she?

I guess it is a bit painful as ExW and her hubby are thinking of buying a house next year, and now d22 and her bf. While I'm in my apartment. Yeah, it stings a little.

[Wet]

I have s15 this week. This is going to take some time. And patience. And liquor.

Journaling. Last week s15 was on health kick, eating microwave Healthy Choice meals. We ate separately. He was in his room, and we didn't talk much. Except when he had an outburst on how me hated his new school (which I am forcing him to go to, b/c of a bad crowd he was involved in at ExW's place.)

So tonight he asked if I was making dinner, and I was prepared - I told s15 I was making T-bone steaks, potatoes and carrots. A nice healthy balanced meal. I told him we would be eating at 6 - he left to go play basketball at a nearby court at 5 (he brought his backpack with his school laptop with him, which was suspicious. But I am giving him space right now, picking my battles.)

I had this nice meal ready at 6 - no sign of s15. I text him that "dinner is ready" at 6:10, no response. I pour myself a whiskey 7, put on some music (80's music of course) and read a sermon of John Bunyan (from 'Pilgrim's Progress' fame.) I was ok and s15 would come home when he was hungry.

6:40 s15 came home. No problem. I sit us down at the dining room table, and ask him about his day. He said nothing. I asked him if anything went well today, he said "no".

I asked s15 if we should sign him up late for 9th grade football. No, it's too late. I said let's go over the school's clubs and activities and get him involved in something. No, he's not interested.

4 bites of food and s15 got up and left to go play on his PS. NBA 2K17 is his favorite game right now. I took a long draw of my whiskey 7, and cleaned up after the meal.

This is hard. I don't know what he needs from me.

I am happy with my patience, and keeping an even keel for s15. I am going to the exercise room 3 times a week, and I feel good. My lungs are doing good. I'm hoping patience and giving s15 space is the right course of action for him right now.

[HaWho]

Wet - nice job being patient. Teenagers sure do know how to test every button, don't they?

Have you tried playing NBA 2K17 with him? I have two boys and one thing that can work over here, is to join in my boys' activities. It gives us a conversation starting point.

[bttrfly]

FWIW I think you handled that quite well. xo

[job]

Wet,

I think you handled the situation quite well. Remember...you can use DB on him, i.e., give him plenty of space and time. Right now, he's clearly unhappy w/his school and he may think that if he acts out, you'll eventually give in and allow him to go back to the old school.

Remember to breathe and don't let him see you sweat.

[Wet]

Thanks HaWho, bttrfly and Job for your words. They help.

TNT is playing the Star Wars movies starting tonight. I think he'll watch them with me. He loved the most recent movie so I think he'll enjoy seeing all of movies that led up to it. (I need to remember to keep my mouth shut when he inevitably starts looking at his phone.)

Job, DB'ing my s15? Hmm, I'm giving him space but I also want to show my love, interest and attention in HIM. I don't think he's getting much attention at ExW's place other than being told what to do ('clean up your mess', etc.) It's a tightrope.