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No one said anything about filing for divorce. That's your choice to make.

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sr9e2d7 Offline OP
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Well he came back last night and told me that he wants to make an appt. with a therapist. I told him that he needs to do that, because he needs to show a little effort. So now it's a waiting game of whether he does it or not


Me: 37
Husband: 35
Married 5 years, together 13
Daughter - 1
Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015
He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016
EA confirmed 6/1/16
PA confirmed 8/1/16
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Originally Posted By: sr9e2d7
So j file for divorce? I thought I was here so I didn't get divorced.

I didnt say anything about divorce. My question to you is - why is he the only one that gets a say in whether you two are together? I get that you want to be with him, but you cant just sit around waiting for that to happen.If he knows you will always be there as an option, what incentive does he have to choose you?

Originally Posted By: sr9e2d7
Well he came back last night and told me that he wants to make an appt. with a therapist. I told him that he needs to do that, because he needs to show a little effort. So now it's a waiting game of whether he does it or not

I should hope that if he truly wants to reconcile, that he will show a LOT of effort. The biggest mistake is making it too easy to come back. You are worth more than being his backup option.

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sr9e2d7 Offline OP
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I totally agree that he needs to show a lot of effort. It's so frustrating because over the past 6 months I have become so much stronger, so much more confident, and I know I am an incredible mom (my daughter makes it easy). Then something happens and I feel crushed and I feel that strength slipping away. How can I hold onto it? I can I make him coming home not the most important thing?


Me: 37
Husband: 35
Married 5 years, together 13
Daughter - 1
Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015
He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016
EA confirmed 6/1/16
PA confirmed 8/1/16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 113
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sr9e2d7 Offline OP
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What exactly does piecing mean?


Me: 37
Husband: 35
Married 5 years, together 13
Daughter - 1
Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015
He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016
EA confirmed 6/1/16
PA confirmed 8/1/16
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 239
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Piecing is when you're putting things back together... working it out.

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sr9e2d7 Offline OP
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Feeling really exhausted. I don't know how much more I can handle. I feel like I could wait forever for him, but is that fair to me? The days go on, and my sadness doesn't ease up at all. I miss him so much, it hurts


Me: 37
Husband: 35
Married 5 years, together 13
Daughter - 1
Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015
He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016
EA confirmed 6/1/16
PA confirmed 8/1/16
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 182
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So sorry SR9 - I know exactly how you feel. I have to tell my W tomorrow that I cannot wait any longer. My emotional bucket is empty. The experts say the best thing to do is to GAL. Hard to do sometimes, I am taking baby steps at this. I did see an MD and got on some antidepressants that help tremendously. It helps me to see things more clearly and have way less peaks and valleys if you know what I mean. Also exercise has helped me to sleep better. I have been dealing with my stitch since May and within the last two weeks I have finally been able to sleep a little bit better. You have to detach, GAL is one way to do this. Find friends to do things with, and try not to exhaust them with talk about your M problems.
I am no vet but just want you to know your not alone, I feel the same.


M 21 years
XW 43yo, me 41 yo
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BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient...
End of June - I started the D process.
D final 2/23/17
"He who forgets will be destined to remember"
Eddie Vedder
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Originally Posted By: sr9e2d7
Feeling really exhausted. I don't know how much more I can handle. I feel like I could wait forever for him, but is that fair to me? The days go on, and my sadness doesn't ease up at all. I miss him so much, it hurts


So what are you going to do about your sadness?

I'd say that's a higher priority than your M.

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sr9e2d7 Offline OP
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Yeah but the sadness is from him not being here anymore


Me: 37
Husband: 35
Married 5 years, together 13
Daughter - 1
Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015
He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016
EA confirmed 6/1/16
PA confirmed 8/1/16
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