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I know you love her but you can't nice her back. Move your own stuff in the truck they have and leave her stuff there. She'll be angry but she should have taken care of her things if she wants to be separate. Either you're her husband or you're not. Right now, you take care of you and your kids, that's all you need to do.

I'm in the same boat with WH - I want him back but not in this incarnation, and he still has the power to hurt me even though his actions have been deplorable. I don't know what to tell you for how to get past that except time. I see stories with those who are 6-12 months ahead of this and they are in a much better place.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Here is the priority you need to be thinking about moving.

First, move your kids stuff
Second, move your stuff
Third, let her know you're done with the kids and your stuff. You don't know what to do with what remains. If she wants any of it she needs to come and take care of it.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
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Thank you everyone for the feedback.
STBX has already taken all her personal items. Only thing left now is marital assets. She wants formal dining room and baby grand piano. Since we are single income even if I tell her to figure her stuff out I will end up paying the bill in the end. But I will leave her stuff last either way.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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Quote:
So she has dumped all the moving responsibility on me.

I ran into a friend at work and he said just move the stuff you want and let her worry about the rest. That would definitely upset her and jolt her if I left the assets she wanted in the house.


God forbid anyone upset her highness!

I don't know what you are feeling remorseful about, Jim. You worked like a dog to provide a comfortable life for her and five children. She never had to work, and pretty much ran the ship to suit herself. I'm not sure a woman like her is ever truly satisfied with what they have. Don't you think it is time to stop taking the blame for why she is selfish and refuses to work like most other mothers in the world have to do? She has it made! Stop being the scape goat for her destruction of this M.

I think you are right. You are a kind and caring man, and some day some lady will really appreciate you for who you are, and not for just what you can do for them. When you survive this crisis, and you will survive it.........you will realize how you deserve so much better than you got.

Not all women are like your W, just mostly the wayward ones. frown.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Whether you end up with the bill is not really the point. She has to take responsibility for her stuff, not you. If she doesn't and it ends up in the dumpster that's her problem, not yours. Document everything in the move, including your informing her to get things she wants. I assume the items she is getting are not going to your apartment. Is that correct? If they are, why?


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
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Sandi,

I laughed a lot reading your last post!

When I came home today STBX and I had a spew fest on each other.

I initially asked her on how she thought the next two weeks will go with getting the boys to and from school? I stated that we need to ensure arrangements are made for Thursday and Friday since movers will be packing and I would prefer the boys not be in the house.

She stated that the apartment is mine and she does not plan on staying there that she will stay in a hotel with the boys! Again the princess has spoken!

Well of course that got my blood boiling and I stated that I was not going to pay for the hotel and that she should look for a job to pay for it and then she became angry and we agreed the judge will clarify this tomorrow morning when her motion is heard to take the boys for the summer. She refuses to spend the summer here, I said great, then go home and leave the boys with me.

When I mentioned that she needed to make arrangements for the dining room set and the piano of course she blamed me for not agreeing about splitting the assets earlier. I stated that we did not get that far in the process and that those would be the last things that go into storage. Of course she called her L immediately and we agreed that the L's will discuss this tomorrow after the motion hearing.

We both said things to each other that added no value to the conversation. She said she no longer needs to be with me and I stated that I found her behavior disgusting as she was still a married woman and that I will do everything I can to protect my boys from a person like that.

mvgfwd,

I appreciate the advice but the princess has spoken! The common folk need to do the work!


Once this whole thing is done and over with I think I will try and get on that new TLC show about single dads! LOL!

I should probably work out a little first to make sure I have some muscle tone before I go on camera!


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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OK well the only other thing I can say tonight is that I am glad I have been able to make friends on this site and that I did it for free. I will possibly get a chance to meet one or two face to face (bigybiz)!

STBX had to purchase an online dating subscription in order to meet OMs!

Thanks again to all that helped me get through this day!


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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JimK

You are a good man. I concur with Sandi and how your STBX is delusional.

She wants her cake and to eat it too! I have the experience now after 5 months of the same type of person to know crazy and delusional.

It's hard to fathom being married to the type of person they are right now but you can't fix it , you can't reason with her, and you have to try not to help anymore where you should not. It's hard....you want to fixit and can't believe how broken she has become.

But there is only sadness, resentment, hate, anger and then again sadness that you can feel from being attached.

I go thru the same cycle you are and its hard. I have down weeks and up weeks but keep focusing on you and the boys and things will work out


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
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Originally Posted By: JimKao
OK well the only other thing I can say tonight is that I am glad I have been able to make friends on this site and that I did it for free. I will possibly get a chance to meet one or two face to face (bigybiz)!

STBX had to purchase an online dating subscription in order to meet OMs!

Thanks again to all that helped me get through this day!





There is a difference.

Here you get a view, you get real care. You can be anonymous warts and all. We still love ya baby.

On dating websites it's all about image. Yuk.

Here you get a tribe, there you get a very loose connection.

Fast and loose.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Well judge was not there due to emergency motion is delayed a week. The 2 Ls discussed logistics and schedule for the next week and who will do what and of course I am handling most everything. She is playing the victim.

STBX had a confused look on her face and stated she needed time to process things and refuses to stay in the apartment.

Looks like the roller coaster added a loop d loop today.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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