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I consider it a small victory for me that I held out that long. Now, of course, I have the urge to continue the conversation, but so far I have been able to resist.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
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So she just texted me:

'I just wanted to remind you of a few days that i have family obligations and you previously said it was ok for the kids to join me. June 24th and July 6th. Both are your days, would you like to switch days, or what would you like to do?'


What would be a good response indicating I am really ok with whatever she wants to do?


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,045
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Originally Posted By: CRW
So she just texted me:

'I just wanted to remind you of a few days that i have family obligations and you previously said it was ok for the kids to join me. June 24th and July 6th. Both are your days, would you like to switch days, or what would you like to do?'


What would be a good response indicating I am really ok with whatever she wants to do?


First you need to figure out what you want.

Do you want the kids? If so, then propose days you want back.

Shes asking what you want. Dont act like you dont care. Its your parenting time!

"Thats fine. Is it OK if I take XXX and YYY?" Dont just pick days randomly. Think of what days are good for you AND your kids based on your schedule with them.

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'That is fine. How about I take them the weekend of July 1?'


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
C
CRW Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210

w: In replace of the 24th and the 6th?

Me: Yes

W: I was thinking it would be easier to tack on Sunday the 26th and July 10

Me: I would prefer what I suggested.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
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CRW Offline OP
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OP Offline
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
I felt like it was ok to respectfully take a stand there, after reading Sandi's thoughts that were pinned to the top.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
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CRW Offline OP
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OP Offline
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C
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
Just a quick update. Things have been pretty stagnant until last week. We found out S15 was 'vaping'. However, instead of dealing with that, all WW wanted to talk about was $$$. I was very frustrated with her, and just elected not to avoid talking to her. For a few days I was even questioning if I was still in love with her. I then found out she elected to talk to him about it without me even knowing. Again, reinforcing my lack of desire to talk to her, and questioning if I loved this person she has become. So, when she called Saturday morning, I just handed the phone to the kids and elected not to talk with her. I actually asked her if I put a straight 50/50 shared care final divorce decree in front of her would she sign it. This just absolutely inflamed her. Since then she has questioned my fitness as a father, told me not to sit with her and S1 at D3's swimming lessons, etc etc. I really don't know what to do. Do I have to keep kissing her ass so that I get to see the kids? She acts like I should still treat her like we are married, when we are in the process of divorce.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
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CRW,

You can sit wherever you want. How would S1 and D3 feel if they saw you not sitting next to your W. If she wants to get up and move to a different seat that is on her. No need to a$$ kiss just act "as if" if she spews anything negative and cheer on your D3 during swimming.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
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CRW Offline OP
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Posts: 210
How do people change so much? I don't understand. I don't even know this person she is now.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
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Joined: Jan 2016
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CRW,

I don't think the WAS has changed. Our perception of them has changed. All due to lack of communication between both H & W. Where the LBS was happy with status quo, the WAS was not and wants more which we did not provide, that is what they perceive to be true.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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