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Latest news. I honestly believe W reality may be checking in a bit. She is so full of anger and venom right now. It is possible it's just the time of the month for her or her fantasy world isn't as shiney as she thought it was.

Anything I get from her is spew. Below the belt anger to try and start a fight. And I have no need for a fight. I like thinking and calmly responding. If needed.

I will defend myself if needed because I am not afraid of her anger like I was. Yes it effects me in a way. Not like it used to. Where I felt I had to fix it. Now it's well. Be angry. [censored] to be you.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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I'm tired. Of all of it.
I'm tired of thinking of her everyday
I'm tired of thinking there is a chance for us to be together.

I want it all to stop and let me live my life. I am finding my way slowly into where I want to be. Yet I still find some decisions to be effected by her. I ask myself. What would W think of me if she saw me doing this? Would this show her I have changed? I want my decisions to be mine.

She dropped the bomb 7 months ago. And left the house 4 months ago. It's still pretty early I understand. I had hoped j would be further along by now tho


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Here are my thoughts about the W's spewing related to her time of the month. I understand that some women legitimately suffer from PMS. I did not have that problem, but suffered terribly for 24 yrs from Endometrosis, which is basically going into labor every month......there's just not a baby delivered. So, I understand pain related to menstration!

I just know a lot of women who use the "excuse" that their nasty, rotten, mean behavior is b/c of having their periods. It is only a crutch to use, in case someone's strong enough to call their hand on her sorry a$$ behavior. Just as some women use that time to go to bed, lay around and escape the chores of housework. Being on edge, crying, fatigue, impatience, is one thing.......but if the family is running in terror of her, it's time she had something done......or get an attitude adjustment.

I suppose it also depends upon how much attention, or lack thereof, that she receives during that time. Just to be fair, I have wanted to get a few dumb a$$ men by their ears and yank some sense into them, about what their W's were dealing with every 28 days.....and how he might think about offering to help out a little more with small children, etc. So........you have to use good sense and judgement in these cases.

Some women legitimately are suffering badly, and have to get off their feet and seek relief however they can. Don't mistake me to believe all females are faking, and every woman is cut from the same menstration cookie cutter. They, indeed, are very individual. I am just saying they should not be excused for spewing intentional, disrespectful, verbal attacks on her H and/or children. If she has a "habit" of turning into a screaming shrew once a month........and she won't let her H calmly talk with her about what they can to do alleviate things..........then maybe he needs to think about addressing the home atmosphere and what is best for all who has to endure this period every month. There is so much more help for women now, than there were years ago.

Anyway, back to the subject of her spewing (periods or not), I do not join the ranks on the board who say to wear a spew jacket. I think the more you allow her to spew on you.......the more she disrespects you. I mean think about it. She is verbally votiming all over you, and you just stand there while she does it? I don't think any man should take it. In the first place, if she has a legitimate physical reason.........she needs to get medial help. (If she has a mental/emotional problem, she needs to get help with that, too). And the second place? She didn't treat you that way before M, I'll bet. She knows who she can throw up on, and who she can't. I doubt she would do her boss, the Pastor/Priest, a respected member of .........whatever, someone she wanted to impress, etc. It causes me to believe it is a choice behavior.

Spewing has a selective audience.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Tyler12 Offline OP
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First. Thank you Sandi for commenting. I have always appreciated your perspective and I hoped you were still reading my story.

Second. If I in anyway offended anyone with my pms comment above that was not my intention and I apologize. It was a comment made with no merit to it and entirely as a joke at my ex wife's expense.

I agree with you Sandi about not taking. The spew. Is arguing back even calmly going to be a bad thing? No probably not. Why should I take her anger. He anger wasn't because of menstratuon. It was because she is mad.

After expressing that I think we should look at who the boys live with tho I believe the 50-50 is best she immediately saw it as I am trying to take her boys away. I know this because her sister texted me asking if that is what I was doing. And if so that it's not a bad idea....

So instead of her seeing that I want to work with her regarding the children, she gets mad, there is no reason I should be brow beat by someone thy couldn't give any less of a thought about me.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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The cycling of emotions is what I believe is the most tiring of this process.

It's like a spinning wheel with anger, sadness, belief, hate, indifference, happiness, acceptance. And a long long list of others, that just keeps spinning.

Last week I would have loved to have w return. This week I am in a happier place. Questioning if I want her back. Her A fog is still strong and nothing will change until she shakes the fog. Which could be never. I don't know.

Last night tho was the first time that I prayed for W that if she ever feels any want to talk that she has the strength to put aside her pride or shame, and talk to me. It has been months since I prayed for anything but for things to be better within my life with my kids and all. That I have the strength to stay the course and have the wisdom to do what is right.

Yes I still talk to in laws. Very very rarely about the M or W. Just kids and plans for summer etc. if my family was at all interesting or doing anything worth talking about I would add them The problem I am having tho is when I do want to talk to someone. I don't really have anyone left. Friends and family are past the point of wanting to chat and tho I appreciate the forums, I crave communication with people.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Hey Tyler, how about an update?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Hey all, its been awhile. Summer is a busy time. Thank you for checking in Sandi. I have been doing well everything is moving along is it should I suppose.

There's really not much to report as far as any M is concerned. W is still with OOM and I have my boys and kids every other week and that's where it sat there doesn't seem to be any venom this week or last couple weeks anyway. And actually I am really enjoying myself

I went to a Friends wedding a few weekends ago and I found myself out on the dance floor all night talking to all types of women with zero expectations whatsoever and Jim way with the phone number that didn't pan out but it doesn't matter the fact that I am able to still talk to people and feel attractive and be attractive to someone else's huge to me

I try my best to get out to all the time into my gardens and flowers tomorrow is a Nother friends birthday that is going to be a full day of slow pitch and a potluck supper with a thrift store themed dinner . The theme is a thrift store formal select the best you can for under 20 bucks and I've been looking forward to it for a few weeks now

There's really nothing to complain about them happy and healthy kids are the same W has been friendly and joking little bit lately which is weird but I don't dwell on it at all. Oh and I got a hold of a mediator and I'm going to continue to talk to couple others till I can find when I like and have them talk to W so we can get this hold the rolling because I would like it to be over as soon as it candy I hate living my life the way I don't want it which is an open marriage part of me definitely what's her to feel pain by having this divorce however that's her issue if she does.

School and all I'm doing well I get a lonely from time to time and wish I could share my day with somebody sitting beside me and someday I will just one day at a time.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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