Depressed to WW

[Scotch]

Tx,

Agree with pretty much all of that. I've done a little GAL, but can do more.

I thought I had the A stopped at one point until I found that she had a new hidden app to talk to him on recently. And I now think he was moving back here no matter what. It seems as though his dad was having cancer treatment in Houston and thats why he was there, and finished that a week or 2 ago.

I don't know what "by any means" consists of at this point. I do have kids, and the two I worry about is the 17yr old step daughter and my almost 12 year old son who are both on social media too. So posting something to get light on this might not be smart if they see it. What does that leave me as far as getting it ended now? Confront the jerk? Confront her again? Just completely detach?

I agree 100% ,I have 0% while he is around or talking to her. And even a very big chance a D would be ugly because of him. The little bastard sent her a mothers day card. If thats not sick in the head I don't know what is!

[Scotch]

Her birthday was Sunday. I had been thinking about what I would do especially with the kids. I decided to have them all draw her a card and that was it. This is definetly not normal. I always buy them gifts to give her. I know she was annoyed. When she realized. We had baseball games for my son until mid day. After th e games my 17 yr old came to me and said mom wants her car detailed for her bday. I said ok but that's not something I'm doing she said, but I don't have money. I said I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you

On the way home a bunch of th baseball families were stopping for lunch and asked my son and I. I coach on the team. I asked her if she minded and she said no. 15 mins after we were gone she texted me this...

Just for the record I think it's super selfish of you to have done this! It's MY birthday and you bet ill remember this for future! You should have NEVER put me in that position because obviously he all ready knew about it and IM not going to be selfish! So YOU should have said you guys can go next time and you should have told him that he should be with Me on my day! I guess you have just set the tone on how you will be handling things in the future! Selfishly as always and I should have never expected anything different! I hope you enjoy your [censored] lunch!!!!!!!!!!

I responded with...
I'm sorry you feel that way. I did ask you because I don't know what all you were doing today. You could have said no and I asked you with Matthew not there. And I continue to make sure the kids acknowledge your days and get you something when appropriate. Im not sure what you mean by set the tone. I feel like I continue to make sure we stay as a family unit the best we can during this and set a positive tone to the kids in regards to you

She went out last night staying over night downtown with her girlfriend (I don't buy that one)

[Scotch]

Sunday night she stayed over night downtown. Supposedly with her girlfriend. While I saw a present from this girlfriend yesterday, I would be a fool not to think he didn't see her, or who knows what else.

We had a confrontation at my sons baseball game this weekend. She showed up late from her over night trip and never acknowledged me like she's been doing. I responded with the same. At one point I rounded up the kids to go grab a bite to eat and she got pissed saying I am being rude to her etc., by not acknowledging her in front of the kids and in public. I find this funny coming from her who has done that exact behavior to me.

She definitely seems to be getting more pissed by getting the cold shoulder from me

[TxHubby]

This is a horrible way to live but honestly there's no consequences for your WW so she has zero incentive to change. She's got the family at home for stability and an OM for fun/excitement/sex. She cares about only herself. All of her arguments with you are about her not being put ahead of everything else. OM is happy to put her first as long as she continues to open her legs. If she cut that off he'd drop her in a second.

As I've said before, you have zero chance of working on the marriage as long as there are more than 2 people in it. You have more than 2 people in yours. This unpleasant life you're living right now will continue as long as you allow it. The power to put a stop to it and find happiness is in your hands.

[Scotch]

Tx, I agree 100%. I'm struggling on how to make that happen.

[twinmom]

Scotch, you can't force it. You can't control her. You can only control you & make yourself a better person. This will have the most impact on your life.

[Scotch]

I agree I can't control her. We haven't talked about the OM at all. She does everything "secretly" and I see her clues she leaves behind. Thats the only way I know its still going on.

I agree with Tx that nothing good happens in my R as long as there is a 3rd party involved. Helpless feeling.

I keep myself busy a lot with trying to collect information that will help me get 50/50 custody.

Friday she told me she retained a lawyer and should have papers done in a couple weeks.

[twinmom]

Scotch, your time might be better spent focusing on you.

[Scotch]

Got my papers in the mail yesterday UGH. Didn't open them yet. They were sitting on the counter and I left it there.

[Sotto]

I'm sorry to hear that Scotch. It's a tough day when that happens for sure. Know this my friend - in time, this will be another bend in the road. M's can and do recover from worse places than yours - whether yours will be one of them remains to be seen. Mine wasn't - but I am doing fine regardless.....it takes time but we get there.

Take care my friend