I’ve been swamped at work, plus two side project keep me busy. Plus, I’m doing a refi on my house, getting ready for my vacations, and got myself into a “business” adventure (I will post later about.)
H continues to pick out of the tunnel and go back into it. I mostly treat all interruptions as business as usual. But, this week something strange happened… I start with the update first. I sent him an e-mail asking him to call Costco and switch the membership auto renewal to another Amex card. We have sets of cards and wanted to cancel one at some point, but I was told that H is a primary on the account and only he can do it. Costco already mailed the set of cards to replace Amex, which they discontinue to use next month. I just wanted to make sure that they don’t send the second set to replace other cards.
H texted me a couple of days later asking to clarify what he needed to do regarding Costco. We had a pretty extensive text exchange, which looked like an exchange between spouses to somebody who doesn’t know out sitch. The interesting part is that H is perfectly fine with keeping the joint accounts (Costco and credit cards tied to it.) I had a feeling that he actually was pretty happy to take care of this and report the progress to me.
I mailed him his mail that accumulated for the last 3 months or so. Next day after I mailed it, I received an envelope on his name from Ticket Master. I waited a couple of days thinking that H would ask me about it. I also thought that he did mail to the house because he would be stopping by sometime, on his way to the vacation home in mid June. He didn’t ask. So, I texted him and told him about it. His responded that he screwed up, that he thought he had it mailed to his address where he works. He texted that he actually wanted to sell these tickets (hmmmm…. I know that he just bought them from the charge on the card) and asked me if I could mail them Express mail.
Maybe he gets confused these days. It is like waking up from a coma and remembering the old life, or not realizing that the old address is not your address anymore.
And then this… I got home and there was a small package on H’s name by the door. From Dillards. So, another “mistake”? I took the package to work with me next day, along with that Ticket Master envelope and a few other items to mail. I texted H about the box and asked what he wanted to do with it. This is where it gets weird… He replied that he had no idea what the package was and that I can open it and see what’s inside. My first thought was that it could be one of these promotions that Dillards sends if you buy certain things. (I saw the Dillards charge on H’s card a few days earlier.)
So, I opened the box and there was a lipstick!!! I didn’t even take a good look at, then texted H if he wanted me to mail it as well, with the laughing emoticon at the end. His reply “ Wtf. Is it my color? Haha”. My reply “I think so… It is bright pink”, with the laughing emoticon again. He didn’t reply right away. And then I got this: “Happy Birthday”. Now it was my turn to say WTF? But, I didn’t. I was puzzled, thinking if this was some kind of a joke or a prank… I didn’t know what to say. I finally replied that it was perfect and an appropriate gift for a 50th b-day, lol. And that I will totally wear it. He replied with the smiley cat face emoticon… WHAT!!! H doesn’t like cats!
When I went back to my car after work, I pulled the packing slip from the box and checked it. It was all legit. It looks like H paid $25 for the lipstick (Elizabeth Arden brand) and there was his shipping and billing addresses, which is my house address. Then I opened the case to see what color the lipstick actually was. It is “raspberry”, which is my favorite color that I always pick.
Is this real? Did H actually think about my B-day and spent some time picking a gift for me… And he actually picked the right color…
I’m still not sure if this is for real. Did I miss the opportunity to validate? I didn’t say a proper thank you and how much I appreciate the thought…
Any thoughts?
I’m driving to the vacation home this afternoon. I guess I will be thinking about this on my way.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
well. that's ... odd ... I don't know if this is a good DB technique but it is something my mother taught me. It is ALWAYS ok to go back and give a proper thank you after the fact.
xoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Milestone birthday!!! Congratulations - and loved the story about the lipstick! It's kind of hilarious (in a nice way) and thoughtful of your H to arrange that.
Best to enjoy that moment of pleasure and keep moving forward - and yes I would certainly send him a little thank you for it.
Enjoy your trip xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Happy Birthday! I would definitely circle back and thank him for the gift. They don't forget everything and yes, they even think about us on those special days. I think it was a very nice gesture and I would definitely wear the lipstick and smile along the way.
Enjoy your holiday! Travel safely.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Happy belated birthday!! Enjoy the lipstick and what a funny story.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
HaWho, it is not belated yet. Sorry, I failed to mention that my B-day is a few days away.
Thanks everyone for the B-day wishes though. And I will take the advice and thank H for the gift.
FY, not sure if I'm going to go all the way like you suggested though, LOL. I will have to think about that…
bttrfly, I’m not sure if I’m in DB mode anymore anyway, and I do have the same opinion as your Mother. I always say that it is “better late than never”.
Sotto, this did make think some… But, I’m not slowing down in moving forward.
Job, I wonder sometimes what H remembers. He definitely remembers my lipstick color, LOL. I’m just curious if they also remember the “bad” things in the marriage and how they felt when they decided to leave.
Ciluzen, it is definitely sweet of H to do this.
Yet… I’m still not sure if it was a temperature check on H’s part, or he just felt like that, or he was drunk and not thinking clearly… Just the fact that the package was addressed to him and not me is kind of interesting. I keep thinking of different reasons why he did it. He was not sure if it was ok… he didn’t feel comfortable doing this… he wanted to create some surprise effect… he wanted to know when I would open the package (as I would ask him about it first – which I did)… IDK. But, more I think about it, more I feel that there is some message behind it, which I cannot figure out yet. The choice of the gift is interesting too.
Anyway, I’m at the vacation home now. Met with my friends (mutual friends). They are throwing a party for my B-day tomorrow. This is so nice of them. I’m so grateful that I have such wonderful friends.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Happy Birthday, Bright! Glad you'll get the chance to celebrate with friends.
Love the lipstick story! That was quite creative on your H's part. Is this different from the past few birthdays?
If my H is any example, they remember a lot. He'll bring up things from a long time ago that I had forgotten or not thought of in a long while. I suppose that includes the good and the bad?? But I don't think my H would remember my lipstick color. I'm impressed.
Have a wonderful weekend celebrating your birthday.
2T
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
