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Hi Phoebe!

It is good to see you have had a good day and I can see in your posts that you are in good spirits. This gives me joy.

Keep on being quirky! I love it.

Sweet dreams and may they contain chocolate, pencil smiles, bird meditation and some awesome neature hikes. That will have you energized and in good spirits when you wake. grin


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Quirky, quirky, quirky. Such a fun word, isn't it???


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Joined: Oct 2014
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"I'm uncomfortable letting too much of myself show. Part of that is a lack of trust, part of it is simple shyness, and part of it is doubting myself.

And that is why writing here helps me sort things out. It took me 45 years to realize that I am awkward around new people because I don't feel comfortable showing them the real me. I am acting like someone that they will think is normal/typical, basically acting like someone else, and that feels strange and uncomfortable."

.....Ooh, the stuff by Brene Brown is going to be helpful I think..... smile xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Sotto,
I am going to watch the talks by Brene Brown today. I have seen the recommendations for her several times.

Hope you had a good sleep my dear quirky sweet Phoebe. sleep


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,081
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Phoebe Offline OP
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So I watched the Brene Brown talk, Sotto,and it was really good. I may go to find more of her work. You are absolutely right - her work is definitely right in my biggest area of need.

Still lots more stuff to go find yet, but I'm in process.

I'm not having the most motivated type of day, but I am working outside. It's just kind of a bit too warm and humid to want to do too much, and the garden is too dry to be able to weed!! I actually have to water it in order to be able to dig anything out!,, so the sprinkler is on the job.

I just got the cushions set up on my glider using and I'm going to go hang out and work on my grief recovery homework. I figure I can cover both relaxation and self-improvement in one happy chicken-watching, songbird-listening session! smile


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
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I loved the Brene Brown talk. I am going to watch it several times as I need that a lot.

Phoebe, Google Guy Winch and loneliness , a great write up that will add to his talk. We can both use it in our situations.

Hope you are doing well and have a pencil and some chocolate handy. grin


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,081
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Well, I just got finished a nice evening of sewing with my mom, and she just left for home. We sewed a bunch of CHICKEN SADDLES, and then we got the birds into their new "clothes."

How quirky is that? smile

I have a bully in my flock and she is pulling out the feathers above the tails of a bunch of my chickens. The bully is one (or more) of the 5 that remain unscathed. A chicken saddle is like an apron, but worn backwards, that goes over their back to give them some added protection while their feathers regrow. Chickens can be brutal to each other. Once they expose pink skin they will never leave it alone.

I haven't had any more time to do research today besides the BB talk I watched, but I will be on that as soon as I can, SH and Co.!

So I was working on my relationship graph with my H this afternoon (while sitting outside enjoying a lovely day), and it was no fun whatsoever. It reminds me that in the last 3 years there were more negative than positive things to record. Of course, there is no way to record the good interactions between the actually incidents, so it's a bit misleading, but there was certainly a downward trend going on.

It's sad to see it written out in black and white. I'm doing OK. It's just sobering and difficult.

I need to make a final copy of the graph tomorrow and do a lot more work on my thought process and write about that, but the rough sketch is at least on paper. Tomorrow I need to get it done because I see my grief counselor on Friday.

So, I slept really strangely last night on the higher dose of hydroxyzine - restless and lots and lots of odd dreams, and woke up covered in sweat one time. I didn't have any nightmares, luckily, but if it happens again tonight then I don't think the hydroxyzine will work for me.

I hope that everyone gets some good sleep.. Good night!


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,732
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CHICKEN SADDLES???

Ha ha. I have a mental picture, that is funny, but I imagine they are not what I envision.
Quirky is definitely the word I would use. I love it.

I cant wait to hear your take on the other material that I assigned your for homework.

I am sorry to hear about your restless sleep and odd dreams. If you need a chuckle at a weird dream check my thread.

I hope you find some rest. A weird idea that may help that I think helped me a bit.
My brother gave me the idea.

Take a night and just stay up all night and the next day. It can help reset your clock, because you will be drop dead tired the next night. I did not make it all night, but forced myself to wake early, but it was the start for me to get back on track.

What do you have to lose for trying. And no meds needed.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Posts: 1,450
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Yuk, sounds like that sleep med was not the right one!

Didn't we talk about Blu-Kote? Gentian violet? It sounds familiar... But I bet they are a lot cuter with saddles and I'd love to see pictures! I've read about how chickens are actually descendants of dinosaurs, and the new findings that support that dinosaurs had feathers - I wonder what the toy makers are thinking right now! An entire generation's images of dinosaurs are completely wrong!

That relationship graph sounds like heartbreaking work. I don't know if I could do that. I journal but I get to pick and choose what I write about.

Isn't it horrible that our partners put us in such a state that we need medication? frown


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Phoebe, glad you found BB helpful. She has done two TED talks and I also got a lot out of reading Daring Greatly (she's written other stuff but I haven't got around to reading that.) It was my greatest area of need too and has been incredibly helpful to me.

Have a good day Sweetie xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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