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betterm,

She's brazen. Stand your ground. There's nothing a lawyer can do to straighten out your living situation.

I'm not an expert on this DB stuff, and I feel like I've been providing too much input without others chiming-in, but it sounds like it's a good time to think about protecting yourself. I don't mean physically, I mean bank accounts, changing locks on doors and making sure that you're happy and healthy. I don't think reconciliation is anywhere on her radar screen right now.

I know it's tough for you right now, but take care of yourself.

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Definitely sounds like she's flailing around trying different tactics to get you to cave in to what she is asking for. Great job staying put!


Me, WW - Upper 30s
BD - Apr 1 2016
EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away)
Confronted wife about EA - May 17
Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11
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I'm at work so I'll be brief. You should maybe get a quick free consult with a L about the house sitch. Laws are different state to state. Always good to arm yourself with knowledge.

I might be too late on the text issue, but it's better if you don't respond to spew and b.s. Don't defend or explain. She probably already knows your feelings on working on M . No need to nag or assume she doesn't.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Thanks, doodler . That guy would be a guy going through MLC. Straight talk does not apply. Listening and validating and moving forward are my best bets there. And being very, very patient.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Do not move out.... I repeat do not move out.. I tell you this from personal experience. IMO you are going to be seen as the bad guy right now regardless what you do.

Limit talk for face to face right now, and I would absolutely not talk about the R right now. Once again MHO


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
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betterm Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Jb9140
Do not move out.... I repeat do not move out.. I tell you this from personal experience. IMO you are going to be seen as the bad guy right now regardless what you do.

Limit talk for face to face right now, and I would absolutely not talk about the R right now. Once again MHO

limit talk for face to face? Are you implying no texting back and only verbal conversation?


M34 W28, T7, M2
W filed D 6/7/16

...who doesn't love a lost cause?
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Still haven't called her back. She is about to get off work and text me, I understand if you want to stay at the house another night but I will be staying there tomorrow night. She's flip flopping like crazy...


M34 W28, T7, M2
W filed D 6/7/16

...who doesn't love a lost cause?
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I would respond and say, "yes I will be staying there tomorrow night as well. It's my house and I intend to stay there every night"
Just make your point clear and don't bring it up again


M 37 W 30
S 7
Together 10 years
Married 9 years
BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day)
I moved to apartment 1/11/13
W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13
Peicing: 6/3/13
Reconciled: 7/2013
BD2: 4/20/16
still working on it
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I would not comment on wanting to make the M work. Just repeat, "You are welcome to stay at the house, but I will be there too."


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
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And Boom goes the dynamite....
I have to run out for a minute, so I'll post update in a few... But wow,

She. Blew. Up!


M34 W28, T7, M2
W filed D 6/7/16

...who doesn't love a lost cause?
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