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bigybiz Offline OP
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Thanks for all the support. I'm meeting with a coach today to help set up some boundaries. She thinks it would be fine to come over make meals/hang out the kids on her nights - and I should not be home. I told her that ain't happening. I don't think I can/should prevent her from coming over - but I'm not going out because she wants it. Besides - how is she going to see how attractive I am.

Any ideas on boundaries would be helpful. She is gonna be ticked off - but I need to set them.


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
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job Offline
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Please start a new thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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bigybiz Offline OP
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Thanks Job for the reminder. I plan to do it on Sunday. Latest update. All of my recent pursuing has backfired - No surprise. She is moving out on Sat. New chapter starts then.


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 563
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bigybiz Offline OP
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Good news - Motorcycle is here. W moves out on Sat. What do people think is it an even trade?


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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bigybiz,

It sounds like you're getting a bargain. wink

What kind of bike are you getting?

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bigybiz Offline OP
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doodler: Thanks for your thoughts. Right now I'd rather have the W. But, I need to show her I'm moving on, changing, etc. It's hard since I've been pursuing her so much - but there are lots of other changes going on.

Your question. I got a 20 year old Kawasaki EL250. It's will be great for learning on. It sat neglected in a garage for years. It only has 8000km on it.

Let's see if I can keep the momentum going of change. This weekend two of my youngest friends Dad's are coming over to ride the bike. All use to have bikes and have given them up for wives, kids, etc. This could be a change in momentum/dynamics as I'm making new friends all around her leaving.

M


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Posts: 3,952
bigbiz,

I know what you mean with regard to have your wife back (the real one, not the impostor).

When I was 15 (a long time ago). I had a Honda XL 250. I rode that bike everywhere; school, work, weekend dirt biking and on trips to a distant rural airport where I was taking flying lessons. I went full-throttle everywhere; I was young and dumb but I had a blast and I was never seriously injured.

I hope you have tons of fun with your bike.

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bigybiz Offline OP
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doodler: You hit the nail on the head. I want my real wife. I'm OK with the changes she has made in her life (it's taken me a while, but now I'm better with it), it was the bad behavior that really wore me out.

Many of the changes, GAL, 180, I've done for me have worn off. The last couple of weeks she has firmed up her plans to move out. I've been in hot pursuit - acting like a teenager with his first crush.

Maybe her moving out will instigate the feeling of loss that Sandi2 and Cadet say are the key to her realizing the cost of her actions. That with the many changes I have been making may just be the right formula.

Until then, I'm the fun neighbor who has a bike.

Thanks for your support.



http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2680423#Post2680423

Last edited by Cadet; 05/25/16 02:49 AM. Reason: Link

M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017
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