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sandi2 #2686845 06/21/16 10:35 AM
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she just asked me out on a date for this sat. night.

e04355 #2686941 06/22/16 08:15 AM
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and now we are making plans to take the kids on a 2 day vacation next week. she is taking the lead on all of this

e04355 #2687129 06/23/16 05:57 AM
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she has been texting me a lot this week throughout the day and before bed. it's all going well.

i got a good morning text from her again this morning and she jumped right into us going to the beach as a family next week for 2 days. i told her that i don't want to offend her, but are we moving too fast? she said, well....i'm not ready to share a bed with you yet. and then said yeah, maybe we should take a day trip or 2 next week instead, and plan a beach trip for later in the if we are progressing well.

i said, yes, sounds great, that i don't want to rush any of this and start doing things before the time is right. and she agreed. we then went back to happy talk and she asked me to come over tonight to discuss what day trips we will be taking etc.

she seems to want to spend lots of time with me, and we talk a lot, but still hasn't committed to US. i am hoping that this is all part of the process and that it won't be long until she is in this fully. i am also hoping that, me saying this morning for us not to rush, that it shows that i am not just a push over.

e04355 #2687179 06/23/16 09:32 AM
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i feel that i should add that today is exactly one month from when she said the words "i dont want to get a divorce"

e04355 #2687187 06/23/16 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted By: e04355
i feel that i should add that today is exactly one month from when she said the words "i dont want to get a divorce"


Yay!! Sounds like great progress for you, and your ability to keep from mashing the gas and taking things slowly is going well. That's the hardest part I'd think. Anyway, can't say much more than good luck and keep it up. This post just made me smile and I wanted to celebrate for you a little. eek


Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
RSG #2687219 06/23/16 12:10 PM
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im no hero ! the urge to step on the gas is there. we tried that 10 months ago, and it was a horrific failure, that lead to a second separation. slow is the name of the game.

the big difference is, last time, i was the one fanning the flames. this time its a role reversal in many ways.

e04355 #2687250 06/23/16 04:53 PM
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our talk went well and she gave me a meal in tupperware to take home with me. we discussed day trips for next week. and we also discuss how well, we were able to communicate today about moving too fast. we were both able to speak our piece, with no drama.

while i was there, she said " since things are going so well, maybe we could start working on the house remodeling project together" i said, i would like to work on that with you, but i need some more relationship first. to which she replied, yeah i guess your right....

e04355 #2687582 06/25/16 08:25 PM
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our first date...... i picked her up on my motorcycle, which she hasnt been on in 2 years. we rode for about a half hour with her hands on my hips. we stopped and raced go karts. and then went to a popular eatery on a lake that she had talked about years ago, but we never went before. we rode back, and she took me for a walk around the block. (literally, no pun here) before saying good night. she leaned in and gave me a hug which turned into a kiss. and then we said good night. and i rode off as she waved. it was the perfect date from beginning to end. and we both mentioned how awesome it went.

she did a tiny bit of testing of me during some of the conversation during dinner. and i played it off like it was no big deal. then she really started to open up about some things, small things that she hid from me in the past. i played that off too. let me clarify and say that it was that when i worked night shift and there was a thunder storm that she would call her dad to come and sit with her so that she wasnt scared. but she was too embarrassed to tell me about it . things like that.

so, things are going well in reconnection land. but still a long way to go.

e04355 #2687793 06/27/16 06:19 AM
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she got cold feet yesterday and ran back into her cave and hid. she peeked out about a half hour before i would usually go to bed. she texted me a little bit to say, that she is afraid that my hobbies are too intense for her, that she feels i would be bored to be around her. I recently took up skydiving and its scaring her.

ive never said anything of the sort. and i did my best to reassure her that ill do my stuff, she can do her stuff and we can meet in the middle together.

what blows my mind, is that 20 years ago when we first met, i did all kinds of extreme stuff. then i mellowed out to the point that she thought that I was boring. now we have flip flopped roles in that regard.

e04355 #2688378 06/29/16 05:54 PM
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she still seems to be working through some stuff. she is very hot and cold around me.

weve been spending a lot of time together lately. sat night we hugged and kissed. and then bam. nothing for several days now. we just kinda hang out together with the kids as friends.

i dont know if this is a good place to be in for now. or if i have been friend zoned forever. on one hand, ive been told that this is a great beginning. on the other, im afraid of never moving past this point.

my only options are to pull away, or ride it out. right now im riding it out. it seems that we me progress, and then she gets cold feet and back away. repeat. but she seems to back away less and less each time. idk. i hate this game

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