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Thanks DDj.

Its hard cause its not like she is choosing to go to OM, he just happens to be there in the same office. Not for long though she will move soon.

If she had chosen to go out with OM or to OM house then i'd kick her out the door already.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
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You are still stuck in limbo, and she has all of the aces. I still think that you need to walk away from the table for a while and not think about what she's doing, even as you recover. She can still slip back into the EA with this last few interactions.

Darknes says that it's taken more than a decade to get her here, so it won't be over in just a short time. Have patience.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Impulse buy! I just bought a set of throwing knives on an from someone on facebook. Saw it, was cheaps and just thought yea that looks like fun.

Interestingly enough over the weekend went on an impromptu drive with W and Son to a bazaar and there was a stall selling traditional kriss (Polynesian / Malay battling knives). I'll be honest i wanted to get one and jokingly tell her(the W) its for the next time OM and or another guys messes with my marriage. Instead i just admired them from afar but i did noticed the W watching me admiring the knives. Now i actually bought knives.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Does anyone else feel like shaking off the shackles of years of being domesticated. I was a bad boy when my W met me then we got married then i was soo trying to be a good man. Now after everything it kinda feels like the bad boy wants to resurface again.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,056
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I've never been a bad boy, always a nice guy, unfortunately. Had a few jagged edges which i'm now rounding out nicely though.

Domesticated, yes. Had no choice with a W that was lazy as SHYT! But if i'm going to be "single" for a while then i guess that i will have to stay domesticated. REAL Woman love a man that cook and clean, it is my love language which is why i excel when i put my mind to it.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Well i was an independent bad boy. Lived in my own apartment ,cook, clean etc long before i met my wife.

Its funny thinking back, her first travel out of the country was with me and over the years i took her around the world. Took her from a small tropical island meet my gran in Birmingham then my cousins in Scotland. Then a euro trip to through paris and amsterdam and back, traveled through china, Shopped at hongkong. Honeymooned in Bangkok, conceived my son in Bali. Holidays to Boracay and Phuket.

I showed her the world and now im second choice.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,056
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My mother used to tell my WW that she must study and improve herself. My WW would reply, no, DDJ is studying so he'll look after me. I don't need to study.

I think that the material things and holidays are part of a sense of entitlement that they've always had, they want to achieve things, without doing the hard work. Nice guys will give them the world - literally!


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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I have not been imagining things the past few days. There seems to be a thawing of her heart or at least the beginnings of such. I am mindfully cautious after spending so much time on this forums but i am playing it by ear.

My 180s have been going great. There are a few home improvement projects i would like to do but finances are limiting that.

Her transparency and No-contact with OM is going well bordering on super. If the proof wasn't before my very eyes i'd have a hard time believing it. I've also heard from OM's W that hes starting to spend more time with his own W and kids.

Maybe its the new job shes going to, i suspect W feels like its a fresh start cause it seems like we're making future plans, nothing major but that is a big 180 from her, in the early stages of BD and DB she would give me a look when i naively tried to make future plans.

I am starting to sleep. Yaay! Atleast i think i am. I feel its probably because im less anxious in part because its sunk in that i cant control her actions and will move forward either way and also because she has been very forthcoming, transparent and every time i had a suspicion over the past few weeks have been proven false.

Shes looking at me when we talk / interact. Another 180 from her.

The kisses on the cheek are becoming more frequent, warmer and more ummm lippy. Four weeks ago i couldnt even brush up against her without her jumping out the way. So that's also another 180 by her.

While i want to be optimistic i know these are still early days and it could turn around on me at any moment. Nothing else to do but keep on trucking.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Had time to reflect on the above and came to realise 6-8 weeks ago i was desperate to even have the interaction described above. Now i dont know anymore.

Deep down im questioning myself if i even want this M. Im not even reaching out to her anymore. She has done everything i asked with flying colors even since i confronted the A. So why does it feel like im grieving the loss of my M.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Natus
Deep down im questioning myself if i even want this M. Im not even reaching out to her anymore. She has done everything i asked with flying colors even since i confronted the A. So why does it feel like im grieving the loss of my M.


Natus,

MWD discusses that in the DR book. I've forgotten exactly what she said, but it something to the effect of, now that the pressure is off of you, you're starting to feel all of the "appropriate" feelings. Again, I'm just paraphrasing, but she said not to immediately act on those feelings.

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