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EDF Offline
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Lying in bed together is definitely one of the most challenging parts for me too. I want so badly to cuddle, to initiate, to ask for things or try to seduce her.

Trying to go to bed later has helped, or having a non-relationship book to read to give myself something to do. When I do take things into my own hands, I try to make sure to do it when I know I won't see her for a while, because otherwise it just makes me feel resentful smirk


Me, WW - Upper 30s
BD - Apr 1 2016
EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away)
Confronted wife about EA - May 17
Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11
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Natus,

It's been so long for me that I'm a virgin again.

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Originally Posted By: Natus
do any of you guys do silly things like pump out a few push ups before getting out of the shower or whatever to look good in front of WAS?


Yea, I'm guilty of doing this sometimes lol.

I suppose technically it's probably a form of "pursuing" behavior if we're doing it purely hoping to get noticed... like deep down I'm thinking maybe if my guns were a bit more swole she'll dump the OM?

If only... smirk


Me, WW - Upper 30s
BD - Apr 1 2016
EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away)
Confronted wife about EA - May 17
Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Natus Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: EDF
Lying in bed together is definitely one of the most challenging parts for me too. I want so badly to cuddle, to initiate, to ask for things or try to seduce her.

Trying to go to bed later has helped, or having a non-relationship book to read to give myself something to do. When I do take things into my own hands, I try to make sure to do it when I know I won't see her for a while, because otherwise it just makes me feel resentful smirk


Went to bed late last night and made sure i was on my side of the bed but somehow wake up in the middle of the night with my arms around her. Im not pleased with my subconscious.


Originally Posted By: doodler
Natus,

It's been so long for me that I'm a virgin again.



I really dont know how im going to cope. In the past i have taken care of myself and still had sex with my W afterwards. Maybe i have a high sexual drive.

Originally Posted By: EDF
Originally Posted By: Natus
do any of you guys do silly things like pump out a few push ups before getting out of the shower or whatever to look good in front of WAS?


Yea, I'm guilty of doing this sometimes lol.

I suppose technically it's probably a form of "pursuing" behavior if we're doing it purely hoping to get noticed... like deep down I'm thinking maybe if my guns were a bit more swole she'll dump the OM?

If only... smirk


I laugh about it now, still do it but more of a fun challenge like see how many squats, burpees and push ups i can complete before my W finishes her shower. Usually end up standing there glistening in sweat with a goofy grin on my face when she comes out the shower and its my turn to jumo in. Keeping fit is a major part of my life anyway so its not entirely out of the blue.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Natus Offline OP
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Shouldnt have snooped, i was doing so well. My wife was running a little late for work today so OM called her (he's her boss). Actually not even late, she had 15 mins till opening but shes usually in the office earlier. I suspect was just a reason to call her.

I have the recording (i work for cell company), nothing suspicious, he was asking if she was coming into office. Its just they way he said it, all soft toned like. Not at all how two normal professionals would talk. He mentioned a few others things about being paranoid messaging around his W and stuff like that.

Out of anger, i called him. Stupid move but he was surprised.

So much for detachment. I just feel like hes gotten off lightly. My honor demands blood be repaid...okay being overly dramatic.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Natus Offline OP
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I cant stop day dreaming about taking his pinky finger yakuza style. Its ruining my lunch and now im in a dark mood.

shouldnt have snooped at all.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,056
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Sorry to hear Natus. Not been following your thread entirely, but are you D'd?

I think snooping helps, but just don't do anything once you get info. I've deleted tracker system from my phone. Actually going to just put it off when my WW is out, and in need, then she can phone the home line and it will wake me.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Natus Offline OP
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No not D, not anything to be honest.

Summary
- BD two months ago, and one month ago found out WAW turned out to be WW with EA with her Boss.
- 3 weeks ago: Boss visited my house with his W to apologise. I forgave.
- 2 weeks ago found out they were still carrying on. Spanked my wife then hunted OM down to warn him off.
- No W is taking steps to be transparent and stuff but no intimacy, however i dont have to deal with roller coaster ride shes at home, doesnt go out much, doesnt text OM from what i know.
- Its hard cause they are in same office and is still her boss. I hate it. Although W has taken initiative to send out resumes and stuff looking for new job.
- Conclusion. W still WAW.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,056
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Well here's my summary

- soft BD in Jan, reinforced in Feb, then Mar.
- OM1 was devout christian so left WW alone.
- WW could be communicating via email and tel at work.
- WW founding solace with OM2 and new friends
- WW not sure that she wants to be married, she is literally just looking, no sure when she will actually buy anything.

At least the first problem is out of the way... FOR WHAT ITS WORTH.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Natus Offline OP
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Yea not entirely out the way. Shes trying but she sees him everyday and that is a strain. She practically admitted being emotionally attached is having difficulty forgetting cause they have so much contact.

Well shes just offered to take some leave of work. I said yea thats a good idea, atleast she gets a break and so do i. Its only two weeks though.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
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