The bed is the hardest time for me, i lay awake just wanting to reach out to her and hold her. Sometime i break and i do but she will end up pulling away. Starting to think i need sleeping pills now
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Natus, i hope you was able to get some sleep. I was just like this when my w told me she wanted to sleep in separate rooms. I couldn't sleep.
Can you tire your self out by doing some push-ups(press ups) -goal of 50 , get an aromatherapy diffuser, put some lavender and read a good book. And I have found that receiving your feelings. Acknowledge them, accept them, and give yourself a reality check of the situation.
Thank you for the suggestions Champ. I'll try some of them tonight. I need it.
I think i need to start going to bed later and make sure im ready to just sleep. My W usually gets to bed 8.30pm watches a bit of TV in bed then falls asleep.
I think i am starting to drop the rope, atleast i hope so. Over the weekend we acted like a happy family then comes nightfall she turns into an ice queen again. But something happened last night, after sex (i initiated...its been two months dont judge me) i asked her if she wanted to get away from me, shes says she couldnt or wont answer.
I calmly told her if she want to separate then she has to tell her parents and we go down to religious authority to start the process of separating officially but either way she will have to decide. Im dropping the rope (i didnt say that part out loud). Im not expecting us to get back together, i want to but i dont feel it happening.
I do have one question, its about sex. This is going to sound misogynistic but i have needs and if shes wants to stay like this ~ limbo like environment ~ where she wont or cant decide if shes going or not i still expect my needs to be met.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Just to clarify my last point above - im not talking about demanding sex whenever. But i dont think i can go for months without murdering someone.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Just to clarify my last point above - im not talking about demanding sex whenever. But i dont think i can go for months without murdering someone.
You and I clearly live on different planets, so this suggestion might not work for you, but why can't you handle your sexual needs during limbo the same way you will handle them if you get divorced?
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
Just to clarify my last point above - im not talking about demanding sex whenever. But i dont think i can go for months without murdering someone.
You and I clearly live on different planets, so this suggestion might not work for you, but why can't you handle your sexual needs during limbo the same way you will handle them if you get divorced?
Hi Rose888, sorry i should clarify what i meant by limbo land, we are not separated. She hasnt even approach the subject of separating in fact im the one who ends up asking. We do everything as husband and wife still except intimacy. Its eerie, she doesnt act like the other WAW or WW i've read on this site. Shes still "plays" the role as wife. Its like nothing has changed in the marriage at all except the coldness in the bed.
As to why i wouldnt handle it like i was divorced, if i was divorced i'd likely be dating.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I was doing so well yesterday even getting into my side of the bed and not reaching out for her. Unfortunately i woke up in the middle of the night with my arms around her...i realised then turned around to face the other way. Hoping this doesnt set back my db.
This morning she kissed me on the lips for like a second before getting into car ~ its such a small gesture bu it is the closest thing to intimacy she has initiated since BD, just filling it away and trying not to think it makes a difference.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I noticed so far my DB and GALing has mostly revolved being around more and spending alot of time with my son. I still go to my gym 3 nights a week which is my time away from home.
It took a crisis for me to learn to let go and delegate at the gym so i can be home more now. Im not on the go all the time and i feel relaxed. Im wondering if im appreciating it more because of the M crisis as well. Gift of time right?
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I got the impression that Rose was delicately suggesting you take care of yourself.
Oh haha well that flew over my head. Umm its not the same? like i cant see it sustaining me for months, 2 months and i was practically a werewolf in human skin.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
