Picked up S11 at baseball practice, WW sat in car and gave me the bag. She is now reneging and won't take him to pitching practice the next day because "it wasn't in the agreement," i.e. because she wanted to make the custody 54%/46% instead of current 50%/50%. That really made me upset, now I have to leave work early to take S11, or I'll have to take him late not leaving him enough time to do homework tonight. What gets me is the reason is because I'm at working making the money which makes it possible for her to enjoy this "lifestyle" of working 15 hours a week, yet I'm being punished because of an hour that I can't be there...! Again the sense of entitlement drives me nuts.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
I can relate to your frustration about sense of entitlement. Not sure what will resolve that in our W's. Look at the bright side, your S will be driving in a few years and you won't have to worry about the drop off and pick up to practices. This will mean less exposure to entitlement.
Unfortunately for me, my interaction with entitlement issues will be much longer with my STBXW.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Keep your head up high CWOL. I feel your pain as my daily commute went from about 40 minutes per day to 3 hours per day as I am making all the rounds form my little girls.
Keep focused forward and there you will start to find answers and solutions to the chaos that has been thrown into your life.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
When I got divorced, we agreed that my ex would move out and I would stay in the house. It took her one weekend to go out and buy a townhouse, and immediately moved into it.
The worst times for me were being home alone in a house that used to have 5 people in it and now only had one. What worked for me was getting on the phone and connecting with friends, getting out on my road bike and laying down miles, and going out with friends for a drink. Eventually when I was ready, I started dating and that made everything much better as well.
Humans aren't designed to be alone, so it hurts everyone. By the same token, it's temporary. You will be happy again, happier than you have been in a long time.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Picked up S11 at baseball practice, WW sat in car and gave me the bag. She is now reneging and won't take him to pitching practice the next day because "it wasn't in the agreement," i.e. because she wanted to make the custody 54%/46% instead of current 50%/50%. That really made me upset, now I have to leave work early to take S11, or I'll have to take him late not leaving him enough time to do homework tonight. What gets me is the reason is because I'm at working making the money which makes it possible for her to enjoy this "lifestyle" of working 15 hours a week, yet I'm being punished because of an hour that I can't be there...! Again the sense of entitlement drives me nuts.
No, S11 is being punished. You could point out to her that using the kids as weapons in a divorce is really, really frowned upon in court. The judge wants people to cooperate to make things as easy as possible for the kids in an otherwise very challenging situation.
Also, if your income is reduced due to having to leave work, support will have to be recalculated.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
No, S11 is being punished. You could point out to her that using the kids as weapons in a divorce is really, really frowned upon in court. The judge wants people to cooperate to make things as easy as possible for the kids in an otherwise very challenging situation.
Also, if your income is reduced due to having to leave work, support will have to be recalculated.
Unfortunately my WW is not being rational about these things. At first she volunteered to continue to take him to all of the practices and games, because she has so much free time. Now she's trying to use that to gain advantage in the support calculations. It's very annoying. There are only a few more weeks left in the LL season and she's making it out to be more than it is.
I'm salaried so it doesn't hit my pay, but obviously it's not good for me to leave work early constantly while asking my staff to stay later. It will impact me long-term but I won't be able to show short term loss because of it...
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Humans aren't designed to be alone, so it hurts everyone. By the same token, it's temporary. You will be happy again, happier than you have been in a long time.
Accuray, So far it hasn't been so bad for me, I've been busy running around doing things anyway, especially with S11's hectic schedule. This weekend will be the real test with a five day stretch of me by myself. Being alone hasn't bothered me so much in the last two day stretch, but it is more the sadness and grief that is weighing down on me. Getting much better rest now, the anxiety has subsided somewhat. WW's L sent over a laundry list for discovery, as did my L to them. Looks like all the same documents I've already provided... Not looking forward to burning cash for no good reason!
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
One thing my S11 told me that disturbed me: My WW only has one bed at her apartment (it's a one bedroom). She shares the bed with him when he is there. I don't think that is healthy at all, when we were all at our house my WW would sometimes do that as well. I can understand when S was 5 years old, but at for a 11 to 12 year old prepubescent boy? I don't think that is right. Is there anything I can do about it? Originally she said that she would sleep on the sofa when he's over, but he told me that is not the case.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
This weekend will be the real test with a five day stretch of me by myself. Being alone hasn't bothered me so much in the last two day stretch, but it is more the sadness and grief that is weighing down on me. Getting much better rest now, the anxiety has subsided somewhat. WW's L sent over a laundry list for discovery, as did my L to them. Looks like all the same documents I've already provided... Not looking forward to burning cash for no good reason!
I feel you brother! I will not see my boys for 5 days also. We are in the discovery phase and psych eval. Burning through cash for the Ls or until someone gives up on custody.
I hope you have a good weekend my friend.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
During separation, but prior to divorce, do you have to split your son's time 50-50 with your wife?
I was wondering about that for my situation. My wife is planning to move next week and she says she's going to take the boys with her for the first week. I sent an email to my lawyer this morning to ask her about that, but she's out of the office and I won't get a response until Monday.
