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This is such an extreme change from the other MLC weirdness that he has exhibited. A major declaration of cleft from family and spouse, though his living there still is a thread-like attachment. Like a disgruntled, but clean-cut teen who suddenly goes overboard goth or punk. An act of rebellion. But what is it he is suddenly rebelling against? He's fed up with something...what? And declaring his privacy by locking up tight...what is he hiding or protecting? I guess you just show no interest and ignore his tantrum? So strange...


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

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HaWho Offline OP
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Mleigh and Ciluzan, it is quite astounding! He is just unraveling. He showered this morning and ran out super early. Just like early replay days. Go, go, go. Said bye to the kids and ignored me 100%.

I suspect it may have to do with the fact that one of my sisters is coming. He thinks the world of her. Her opinion of him would matter to him. Also, I imagine he has to be mad that I called him out on the spending and his months of gallivanting all around town. He told me to keep my nose out of "his" bank accounts.

Job - I assume I just ignore all these latest antics?

Oh my, it just occurred to me that he'll probably be locking that door when family comes.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Well, he definitely takes the cake this week. Winner, winner, chicken dinner for the frat brat! LOL! I have a feeling he's doing all of this to put a bit of damper on your family coming to visit. He's truly rebelling and doesn't want them staying there...but he also doesn't want you to show them his dorm room. Apparently the key episode hit a sensitive spot w/him so he's going to show you, "mom", that you don't have any right to come into his room any longer...not that you have been...but he's paranoid and he thinks you are in there a lot. Kids go thru periods of rebelling and your adult son is doing just that.

I wouldn't say a thing to him except to remind him that if he's using the kitchen, to please clean up after himself and put plates, pots and pans and utensils in their proper places once they are clean. Now, it will be interesting to see what he does about his laundry and cleaning of the dorm room.

Sit quietly...the show is about to go on. No cell phones, no talking...just sit quietly and observe.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Job - thank you for all the advice. Although "living with the loon of the week" is not exactly a prize I covet. LOL!

Here is a sticky issue. What should I do when my sisters arrive and we are all going out with the boys? I assume I casually invite him, too? I think he will be declining and be on the run most of the time.

I think he's going to give my sisters a fireworks display.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Joined: Jan 2000
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He is definitely the poster boy for MLC this week.

I would definitely extend invitations to him when going out Leave the ball in his court and if he opts to go along, fine and if not...that's fine too.

I can't wait to see what he does while they are there. It's going to be one for the record books. LOL!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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HaWho, it sounds like your h is really rattled by your family's upcoming visit.

I've seen other threads in the past where the MLCers put locks on bedroom doors, office doors, etc. I think most have this big issue with privacy. I know mine did/does, but no locks thus far.

Don't let your h get you riled. Just sit back, observe and let him do his thing. Concentrate on the enjoyment you'll get by spending some time with your family. And take care of your boys because I'm sure they are wondering what the heck is going on.


Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown
M: 19
T: 23
BD: 9-23-2013
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BTW, I went out and purchased a lot of potato chips and pop corn for you and your family. We all will be sitting on the curb watching the drama unfold.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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OMG! He called in the cavalry!!! Cleaning ladies have arrived are tackling that horrendous bathroom. I am dying to see if he allows them into the dorm room. (Remember at Christmas he did not.)

I am in my office working when I hear them arrive. He tells the cleaners it's a "small job today." (Yeah, but little do they know that although they're only cleaning 300 sq. feet, they might as well be building the Hoover Dam. The work is just as dangerous.)

He points them to the bathroom. I could not tell if they are cleaning the dorm room. The rest of the house is spotless, thanks to your truly. But he doesn't know this as he never comes upstairs. So he takes them to the boys' bathroom and it is glistening. So he says "huh, guess this one is all set."

And I am sure those cleaners, knowing it's a KIDS' bathroom are wondering what wild animal uses the downstairs bathroom. I can hear them whispering down there.

2X2Many - thanks for those words. I consider you to be a calm, cool cat and I going to do just as you advise. I'll let him spin himself deeper into the hole he has dug for himself. No rescuing. Job - I will be quiet and watchful.

And most importantly, I am going to enjoy my time with my family. Sadly, I am most looking forward to a hug from each of them. These have been some very hard and stressful years on me.

Now I need to dash out without these cleaning ladies seeing my face. I feel so bad for them.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
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LOL! I'm not surprised to read this latest antic. He's not done yet! Hey! I've got the popcorn ready...come sit on the curb with the rest of us.

At least the dorm room will finally be cleaned!

Enjoy the time you spend w/your family.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 444
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OMG ... a cleaning crew? He IS rattled by this family visit! I suspect he may settle back down some once they leave. He seems to be in a tailspin over all this and hopefully all the craziness will come down to a tolerable level once they're gone. In the meantime, you and your boys enjoy your family.

I would take all of this as a sign he knows he's behaving oddly and cares about what others ... your family ... think of him. There's a conscience and some recognition in there somewhere. Just my observation, but if that's the case, it may not be a bad thing.

I totally get the sadness of looking forward to hugs. I've had moments where a stranger at the grocery store could have given me a hug and I would have been grateful. Soak it in!


Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown
M: 19
T: 23
BD: 9-23-2013
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