Now or .....?

[vise82]

Hey,

if you seen signs then I would say they were there, no question.

I think it was good that you asked, get its out of the way.

I dont think it was negative that she need to think it over. I have read on here many time that W give the answer instantly: Not a chance.

I think its fair to get your answer and hopefully she does get back to you. Good luck

[otw]

I agree that her thinking about things is not bad. She could have just said no.

Now we wait.

[Jb9140]

OTW - I honestly think this was done out of frustration- I truly understand your frustration. Being in Limbo is the worst place to be.

I feel that her reaction sounded like she wasn't ready for this yet. I can't help but think of the scared squirl analogy.

Please don't take what I'm saying as me having any real experience in this stuff, but I've been reading my ass off in this forum (I'm sure you have too) One thing I've picked up on is timing is everything, and this stuff takes a lot of patience.

I would recommend backing off for now, and see what happens.

Like I said, I realize you been at this awhile, and I'm sure you're dying for some sort of resolution. You will definitely be in my thoughts tonight.

Hang in there.

[otw]

Frustration is not a good word. It definitely wasn't done because of that.

Let me paint a better picture.

We have been doing so much together and getting a long so well. I have no intention of being her friend going forward. We will be cordial because of co parenting but I saw things slipping into just a friend zone. I have no desire for that. If I just backed off completely I will always wonder should I have tried. If it doesn't work I am backing off anyway and whatever plays out in her world plays out. But for me I not be sitting by curious or spending the time together anymore.

Anything that happens then will all be coming from her. If it is nothing so be it.

Don't know if that helps explain my mindset.

[Jb9140]

Frustration is not a good word. It definitely wasn't done because of that.

Let me paint a better picture.

We have been doing so much together and getting a long so well. I have no intention of being her friend going forward. We will be cordial because of co parenting but I saw things slipping into just a friend zone. I have no desire for that. If I just backed off completely I will always wonder should I have tried. If it doesn't work I am backing off anyway and whatever plays out in her world plays out. But for me I not be sitting by curious or spending the time together anymore.

Anything that happens then will all be coming from her. If it is nothing so be it.

Don't know if that helps explain my mindset.

How long as this been going on? sounds like a progress statement.

[otw]

3 months. Almost 4. I know there is no timeline to this and it is a long haul. Believe me. I know.

If it was a mistake ok. I will own that but it isn't something I just did out of nowhere. I spoke to my DB coach about 2 months ago about it and just now pulled the trigger.

I very well could have scared her away if there was something. This surely is not the first mistake I have made in this whole process! Lol

I am over a year into this. I am ready to start living one way or another.

[Jb9140]

Sorry if I came across as implying it was impulsive. I know you've been at this a long time. It's brutal, but I believe the process can make us better people.

[otw]

No need for apologies here. Everything you wrote has entered my mind at one or a hundred times.

It is much easier helping people from the outside. Our own feelings blind us.

I appreciate your thoughts.

[pinn]

wow OT... was not expecting to come here and read that. What's done is done so I won't comment on it. In fact, I am not really sure if it was the right move or the wrong one. Try to stay busy so you are not too focused on her response. Keep us updated.

[vise82]

hey OTW,

How is it going?

Just checking in