So I'm working on detaching, and I have a question...I'm having a hard time acting "as if" while still trying to detach. I need help with how to balance detaching while still being pleasant to be around. I feel like I'm coming off as a jerk
It's a tough balancing act. The hardest part is being consistent. Consistency is the most important part. My emotions would always interfere with that. Buckle up.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
It's a tough balancing act. The hardest part is being consistent. Consistency is the most important part. My emotions would always interfere with that. Buckle up.
I've definitely gotten better with handling my emotions. Just today, I came home and a whole bunch more stuff is packed up. She's not leaving me with much. Wanted to say something, anything, but didn't. I left and went to the store.
I just want to project the person I actually am. Definitely hard to detach.
And I've been consistent in my new ways for a couple months now. I know she's noticed, but don't think she's sold yet. I guess it doesn't really matter, because I know it's real. I went through a drug withdrawl AND a separation at the exact same time. That definitely changes a person and helps put things in perspective.
This is one thing I did stand strong on at least. I only let my wife take her clothes and personal belongings. She has had to by all new furniture including dishes flatware pots and pans, pretty much everything on her dollar. I'm not paying for anything. Also dint help her move a thing. I stayed and watched. Painful but necessary IMHO.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
This is one thing I did stand strong on at least. I only let my wife take her clothes and personal belongings. She has had to by all new furniture including dishes flatware pots and pans, pretty much everything on her dollar. I'm not paying for anything. Also dint help her move a thing. I stayed and watched. Painful but necessary IMHO.
Well I started to go down that road, and she quickly turned nasty, sayin we are getting lawyers, glad to see my true colors, yada yada. In all honesty, I don't care. I want her to take whatever she wants.
She's walkin away from a decent chunk of change with our house. That's all mine. She's doesn't want anything. She could contest it and get 1/2 of everything. And she would if I fought her though, that's for sure, a little firecracker this one is.
And not to mention, she's leaving a good man. For that, I pity her a bit.
Don't get me wrong. She cherry picked a couple things, but nothing major. The house is pretty much intact. She hasn't actually brought up divorce since Febuary. But she know I've got a lawyer on retainer. Which is costing me couple hundred a month, but is worth the peace of mind IMHO
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Don't get me wrong. She cherry picked a couple things, but nothing major. The house is pretty much intact. She hasn't actually brought up divorce since Febuary. But she know I've got a lawyer on retainer. Which is costing me couple hundred a month, but is worth the peace of mind IMHO
I totally understand ya. For my sitch, idk, everything seems to be fair for the most part, just weird seeing my current life kinda vanish/change so drastically. As much as I hurt, I remind myself that she's hurting as well, whether she shows it or not.
so W just text me and said the closing date on her condo is next Thursday. She needs me to sign a few things at the mortgage place, basically saying I am responsible for nothing. I agreed without hesitation.
Hey, she's not asking to sign divorce papers yet, right? ....right?? haha
