Had a lovely weekend with my cousin so good. But when I got home there was a message from his mum. I rang her back.....and she said he says I physically abused him, punched him when we fought. Unbelievable . I don't recall that at all....how can he lie like that. It's all justification isn't it
They do lie and some of the lies they tell, they actually begin to believe them. They are trying to justify why they are doing what they are doing and they want others to believe their lies so that you look like the bad guy.
Here's what my xh told his lawyer about me...but it backfired because the PI I hired had been to my house many times during the time in question. My xh told his lawyer that I had knocked him out and tied him up and left him to sit that way for hours while I took all of his clothes and put them in the middle of the driveway and set them on fire. Funny, my xh is taller than me and weigh at least 100+ more than myself. Also, our driveway is paved. The PI came out, took photos and provided them to my lawyer to show that I didn't set his clothes on fire. Of course, those allegations were tossed out because there was no proof. They can lie quite well.
The best thing you can do is to continue on as you have been. You do not need to defend yourself to anyone. If his mother chooses to listen and believe what he says, then shame on her because she should know better. But, as they always say...blood is thicker than water. One day, she may take her rose colored glasses off and come to realize that her son has been lying about a lot of things.
Continue moving forward. The best revenge is to live your life to the fullest. Don't allow his lies to ruin your day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks, his mother doesn't believe him .... She has told me to divorce him as he's an idiot, her words. It's nice talking to her ...as she doesn't make me feel like I am mad.
It's just sad that he can tell family things like that about me. Shows how little empathy he has towards me .
Got mad yesterday. The kids drove back from Wales and apparently stopped off at my bil . I was so angry. How can my sil just accept ow with my kids.
I am sick of this. My h is being a complete idiot with his head up his backside. What can I do to get him to wake up. So ...maybe we did have some issues...I don't know....but can't we try and sort it out. He's throwing away his family .
He made a commitment to me......he gets 'unhappy' and 'doesn't love me anymore' what the hell. Help me please.
Mia, I know it's hard but there is nothing you can do about your IL, they are your H's family and no matter what your H does he is still their brother. Having said that it doesn't mean that they agree with what he is doing, but for whatever reason they say nothing. I have this with mine, one of my H's siblings left her H for OM, the other siblings including my H kept bad mouthing being OM's back but when they see him they are all friendly! Even my H gets marital tips from him (he is on his 3rd wife!). It's all fake.
This is out of your control and I know it hurts but there is nothing you can do. My H told me that he was unhappy but to this day he still hasn't told me that he doesn't/ no longer loves me, that's why at time I'm finding it hard. Focus on your kids and see what you can do to create happy memories with them.
I think Rouky is spot on with that advice. It's yucky and not much you can do about it either. FWIW - even if you feel really angry about things like this, try and keep that away from your H. Only let him see that you are moving forward strongly yourself....what he chooses to do with yucky OW is up to him. If it helps, my XH's family were very little help to me and I (thought!) I was good friends with them all. We went on holiday together a number of times etc.
Rocky, I'm in the West Mids xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Got mad yesterday. The kids drove back from Wales and apparently stopped off at my bil . I was so angry. How can my sil just accept ow with my kids.
I am sick of this. My h is being a complete idiot with his head up his backside. What can I do to get him to wake up. So ...maybe we did have some issues...I don't know....but can't we try and sort it out. He's throwing away his family .
He made a commitment to me......he gets 'unhappy' and 'doesn't love me anymore' what the hell. Help me please.
Has a chat with my cousin yesterday. Hadn't spoke to her for a while but same/ similar thing happened to her. Her h cheated on her and she forgave him first time, then he did the I'm unhappy I don't love you speech again. She discovered his 2 nod affair and brought her kids back to this country. She said they always use that line as its justification.
She said that its his issues not you. Every marriage/relationship has issues...especially when you have been together so long, but she said what the ws does is blow them up...any little thing , so that the marriage is so bad and is making them so unhappy that they went to someone else. She said again it's justification.
She kept reiterating that her h and my h are unhappy with themselves..and she pointed out that they do regret it when reality hits. For her reality hit when she took the kids and came back to this country. Her h was with this ow for a little while then they split and suddenly he had no kids, no wife , no home...she said big regrets. She says he doesn't even see the kids.
All in all she said it was the worst thing she has ever been through but it was his issues that destroyed everything..,,,and he has to live with that.
