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job #2686395 06/17/16 02:30 PM
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Rouky Offline OP
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I'm in new house and all I can say it's a learning curve. Mortgage company refused to release funds yesterday but said it would be done first thing this morning. It didn't happen until way late in afternoon. Basically at one point my solicitor told me that the seller's solicitor had started proceeding against me for breach of contract as I was about to be homeless with two kids! Then the removal company charged me more because of delay!
Then on top of all that car broke down and SIL sent me a nasty text which upset me even more. At one point contacted FIL because I didn't know where I'd be sleeping tonight, got a reply that he didn't come to help because he was told H was doing it!

A lot of tears and stress for me but as I'm about to sleep tonight I feel relieve and also I feel the rope is dropped as now I hate H for putting me through this. I have also found out who my real friends are and I can say that this has been a hard experience but I did it on my own, and to me it shows strength I never thought I had.

Did text H about the possibility to be homeless, still waiting for an answer!

Body and mind are aching, although I'm glad I'm no longer in marital home!
Now here to my future :-)

Rouky #2686401 06/17/16 03:13 PM
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Sorry it was all so crazy, but glad that you are finally in your home. You are now free to decorate however you want, cook whatever you want, invite over whomever you want!

I know it's a lot to take in right now, and a lot of unwanted change. But I have a feeling things are going to get a lot better from here on out. He's a serial adulterer and probably a narcissist. Plan a fantastic life for you and your kids and don't expect much from him or his family. Make new, better friends if the ones you have don't step up to the plate.

It's going to get better from here. Dream big, pursue your dreams.

kml #2686410 06/17/16 04:30 PM
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Oh Rouky, how awful! As if it wasn't going to be stressful enough without all that added pressure!

So sad that friends and family showed who they really are when you need them most. I hope you and the kids settle in quickly and your new house soon becomes a cozy home where you can shower them with love and build a brighter future. As people keep reminding me, it is your H that is missing out. Missing out on you and your gorgeous children. I find that reminding myself of this helps when I'm really struggling. Well done for getting through moving day! Hugs!


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
inpain #2686411 06/17/16 04:42 PM
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Rouky,
I am so sorry how your move played out today. You are now in your new place and can do whatever you want w/it. I'm sure you'll be happy to be unpacked and I know you'll make it a cozy place w/plenty of cheerful colors to bright things up for you and your children.

It's really a shame that this move cleared the slate, so to speak, and you now know who your true friends are. I'm so sorry that they weren't supportive and there to assist you.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm sure you'll feel much better. Take your time unpacking and don't over do it!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2686435 06/17/16 10:48 PM
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Rouky, I'm sorry your move was the way it was. Makes a crummy situation crummier when you realize you can't even count on the important people in your life.

But it's all over and now you get to enjoy YOUR space to do as you please. It's tough in the beginning, but it won't be long until you make the space yours. Soon you'll appreciate that all the cabinets and drawers are arranged just for you! It sounds minute, but it was one of the joys I found early on!

I echo was Job says- don't overdo it! Take some time for yourself, just have a break.


Me- 30's H- 40's
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I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
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Rouky, I'm sorry your move was so stressful - but glad things did work out and you were able to get in my lovely. Do relax and take your time unpacking and enjoy creating the home that will be yours going forwards. You are able to have it just as you want now - I love to be able to do that!

There's a theme in your postings wrt H's family - unreliable.....It's JMHO of course, but just as you have no expectations from your H, you may want to have no expectations of them too. It is best to build up your support network separate to them I think.

I'm coming round later with a bottle of Prosecco and Macarons! Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2686485 06/18/16 08:00 AM
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Rouky I am very proud of you. Your courage in the face of so much stress is inspirational and I aspire to have as much grace as you always show. Yours is an amazing story and your having faced it with so much strength and dignity will encourage everyone who has to go through something similar. Hopefully things will get much better for you now and you will begin to see yourself as all of us here do and all of your friends as well; a beautiful, compassionate, loving blessing to all who know you. Give yourself some time to just worry about yourself and put everyone else on the back burner for a few weeks. You deserve it and your children need for you to focus on you for now. They will be fine and will learn from you in all of this. God Bless you and as always I am praying for peace! Mark


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
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Rouky Offline OP
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Prosecco and macaroons sounds fab, Sotto :-)!
Thank you very much everyone as you all have been my rocks for the last year since I joined here. Didn't sleep much, as I guess it was due to the stress of the move and everything piling up at the same time! Woke up this morning feeling like a weight has been taken of my shoulders, I could even say peaceful :-)!

I love my new house, it's cosy. I know I haven't been in it 48 hours already but I like it. Some friends already came up to see me. I was struggling with boiler and tv and a friend and her H came to help me out! I'm blessed with the new friends I have made. I even met my new neighbours (180 for me as I won't naturally speak to people)! I noticed that news travel fast as got a text from H's next door neighbours (they are common friends), offering me somewhere to stay over the weekend as they got told that I was homeless. Very kind gesture of them but I don't get it why H would tell them! Sent H a text late afternoon to update him on situation only got a text lunch time saying he hoped things have been sorted! Then again he texted later asking at what time he needs to pick up kids! Honestly he could have said that he'd like to pick them up at a certain time! Oh well, I have given up trying to understand him.

I don't think he is MLC, but I do believe that he might be narcissistic KML as you pointed out earlier. H turned up to pick up kids with a huge smearky smile on his face. I didn't speak to him as the kids open the door to him and didn't allow him to come in! I can see a similarity with his ex because now he is acting the same way towards me as he was/ still acting with his ex partner when we were together!

The seller's had a cat so since yesterday all the windows are open and inhaler had become my best friend again ( I badly suffer from allergy to cats!). I have half of the boxes unpacked as I'd like to make it as soon as possible mine. First time today I have been able to listen to love songs on radio without feeling sad! Yeah.

I'm taking my make friend out for a meal tonight as a thank you for his help and support yesterday as he stayed the whole day with me! At one point yesterday he said that removal people tough we were a couple. I gently reinforced to him what I have told him from the beginning that I really appreciate him but as a friend. Other than that I have been on a date a couple of weeks ago, and we have been texting but it's only good morning or goodnight. TBH I'm not fused as after all I have been through the last 15 months, I don't need a man and I have a great support of friends, and now I know that I can rely on them if I need help. That's a filfulling feeling to know that if I have a problem I have a network of support!

Don't know why but I now I'm starting to truly believe that I'm a strong woman and should give myself more credits :-). I also feel that I'm protect from above, just need to have a stronger faith that everything will work out in the end. It certainly has for the house, and that I'll lead a better life and that at some point H will face the consequences of his actions, but now I also now that when the time comes I'll be gone.

Like you said Inpain, although I don't feel gorgeous I truly now feel happy in my own skin and I can say that for the first time in 40 years I love myself! This crazy move has bed the real click I needed to realise my self worse! At times I think God is putting me through hard time to challenge my negative thoughts about me!

Thank you reading me and sorry for the long post. Have a lovely weekend everyone. God bless you all

Rouky #2686495 06/18/16 09:51 AM
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I am very happy to read that you are feeling better today and that some friends have already come over and offered their assistance. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes people are hesitant to offer and would prefer to be asked.

After all that you have been thru, I think you sound wonderful.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2686515 06/18/16 12:21 PM
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Glad you've had a better day today Rouky - that must be a relief after such a trying time - and good for you getting to the other side of it. Peace often lies there I find.

Great that you are enjoying your new home - the first of many happy days there for you.

Enjoy settling in and great that you're getting to know the neighbours. It makes a big difference to know who lives right around you I think and once you've broken the ice you're half way there.

Take care xxx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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