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SadHub,
Thanks for checking in. I'm doing fine, actually. Today was WW's move out day, it was a bit anticlimactic as expected. Most of the day I was busy running errands with S11 and then took him to his Little League game. S11 did well, was the closer in the last inning and struck out two to win the game. WW was there watching with me.
She came home and finished loading her car. She said we will trade S11 next weekend as it's Mother's Day, I said fine. Looks like she drove off to her mother's house instead of her apartment. No fireworks as she took mostly her clothes and no large items... I didn't find anything major missing.
She's been texting S11 now all throughout the evening. Should I limit that during his time here and focus our time together? Or just let it go? S11 is fine, I just told him it was WW's decision to leave our house, we would like to have her back if she will see things clearly.
It's kind of a strange breakup because S11 has a double header tomorrow and we'll be seeing each other there anyway... It's like this all throughout the year. So not sure what I should do, I can't make her not go to the games and I want to go to the games myself...


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
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Hi CWOL,

That is great. Sounds like the move out went smooth and you were focused on s11. That is perfect.

As for the texting, I would encourage that you do what you believe is right. I don't know that there is a correct answer for that. It is important that you allow your s to communicate with his mother as if it were any normal situation, but at the same time, doing what is right by you as a father to ensure that s is spending time attentive with you. There is no right answer, but do what ever you do with love for your s11 and WW.

Congrats to your s11 for the strike outs and close of the game. That must have made you one proud Papa today.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Not sure limiting her contact with him while he is with you is a good idea. It may come back to bite you when he is at her place... Others may know more, though.

Unfortunately, her going to the games is something you're going to have to deal with, as much as it [censored]. Just don't go throat punching her!


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Yeah, we're pretty civil with each other right now, she's been low-keyed about things. I'm sure she is really missing S11, he's just answered a couple of the texts.

Yep, very proud of S11's development as a ballplayer. He plays travel ball year round. For the past three years WW and I spent 5 hours almost every Sunday together watching him play. And during Little League season he plays on Saturdays and one night during the week as well. One of us always takes him to his club for batting or fielding practice during weeknights as well. Which is why I think a lot of people are going to be shocked at her moving out.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
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Posts: 3,952
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CWOL,

Did your wife seem to become a better mom after she filed for divorce? My wife was a good mom, but a bit intolerant of some of my sons' behavior (loud noises etc). After she filed for divorce, she's seemed to be a much better mom.

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Does she seems that way because she isn't around them 24/7? Mine acts like that, too, and she only sees them on the weekends. It seems like being a weekend mom is all she really wants, if that makes sense....


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Jeep74,

My wife is still at home, but she does work full-time. I work full-time as well.

I think the reason that my wife is a better mom now is because she's planning to move out and get a divorce so she wants and needs the boys' support during that time so she's become a kinder mom. That involves a lot of mind reading and conjecture on my part; regardless, I'm glad she's been a better mom.

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My W had been a super mom the last couple of years placing the children first, before herself, me, and our marriage. Since the separation I feel she has removed me and our marriage, and placed herself first. It appears she is no longer the super mom.


Ralph88
Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9
2013 B drop 1, EA found
2016 B drop 2, EA/PA?
2/16 Physical Seperation
2/16 I filed for D
4/16 PA Confirmed
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CWOL,

It's great to hear that S11 is doing so well with BB. You gotta be one proud father. It's good that you, and your W can be civil. I know it's hard to have to see her all the time like that with games, and such, but i'm sure S11 is happy to have both of you there.

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Originally Posted By: doodler
Did your wife seem to become a better mom after she filed for divorce? My wife was a good mom, but a bit intolerant of some of my sons' behavior (loud noises etc). After she filed for divorce, she's seemed to be a much better mom.


No, I didn't notice any difference in behavior, except her hostility to me became out in the open after filing. Remember, she was pretending to be willing to reconcile while she was planning to file. So after she filed we had a massive fallout as I've been lied to again.

Now, after move out it's only been one day. She didn't want to carpool for the one hour drive to today's game, so I guess that give me an indication of how things are going to go. She did sit next to me during the game and we cheered for S11 together. Overall she was civil, especially in front of the other parents.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
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