Man otw.. I struggle with those questions constantly.
Do I want her back? I believe, that we were real close to having something really special. Our relationship was not bad and there was a lot of good there. A Lot. I think, with the things I have learned over the past 10 months, it could be better. I enjoyed being with her very much. If she would be willing to take the time to learn some of the things I learned and give it 110%, then yes, I want her back.
The second question is the harder one. She has a bad history with relationships and is impulsive. Our history together would make this hard. I am not sure how I can give 100% to a future relationship when this has happened multiple times. I think I would always be wondering when the next BD is. The close friendships we had with others and my family has been destroyed. It took me forever to repair all that damage from the last time... no one will trust her now. Which is too bad because she really is a nice person.
So the short answers are.. do I want here back... yes (though i will be OK without her ;-)..... could it ever work... I really don't know about that one.
one other thing is that once the D is finalized (if it comes to that)... I will never, ever talk to her again. That's it. I won't tell her that until after things settle out.
So Are you fully prepared for her to say she is done? I know you said you will be ok and I do believe that but and I am not saying that this is what it is, if this is your last ditch effort to wake her up and give it a shot together you must be prepared for it to go the other way.
I say it all the time to myself I just want to know or it to be over one way or another. But I second guess here and there. When the time comes that I don't second guess anymore then I will know it is time. Until then I do nothing. Really can't go wrong doing nothing!
I apply the same to my situation currently. I have been close some many times to ask w to spend time together alone but I second guess still so I take what we have going currently and try To be happy with it. It is hard because my natural instincts are telling me to act on the signs I get.
But I am doing nothing right now until I feel I know.
I guess before you do anything make sure you are as close to 100%!as you can get
Man. I really feel for you because I know I am not far from this.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I am def fully prepared for her to say she is done. It won't bother me and it will be a relief. I am not thinking of it as a last ditch effort. I don't have any other motive. I am just tired.
I can do nothing for a bit longer. I actually don't mind no contact. I do mind when she says stuff and then her actions don't support it. So I'll go back to NC for a while though I am pretty sure I will see her this weekend. The urge to drop a simple blunt text is so strong right now though.
Have a great GAL activity coming up in a few weeks. I am joining some of the people from my yoga class on an over night relay run for a charity. 200 miles, with 12 people. I only know one of them, and I don't know her that well. Gotta keep pushing out of that comfort zone. I am excited about it.
One GAL activity (yoga) folded over into another one... funny how that works.
Hi Pinn, I totally get the desire to send the text. As you know, all our feelings tend to change every 24 hours. It's that down time where we press pause on those desired actions that allows us to muster up energy to keep moving forward...which is exactly what you are doing... And you are doing it quite well
Your run sounds awesome is it a Ragnar relay? I run my first half marathon next weekend....I'm excited!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Good for you feyth!! Let me know how it goes. You will feel great when you finish it!
It is a ragnar relay. It goes right along the coast so it should be good. The team is intense though... I can barely keep up with their emails! We stay together for two nights. Should be good!
My half is this weekend. Just wish darn WW was not going to be there. It will be hard to not come across cold. I'll have to think of her as a neighbor which means I'll have to stay and watch her finish but then leave right after that. I hope she doesn't have anyone there watching her... That would be tough to deal with.
after biting my tongue all week... WW texted today. She basically texted to complain about two things: me running the same half marathon as her with our running group and her being blocked on FB... that was her real issue.
She is worried about it being emotional seeing me at the half. It won't be for me. I could skip it. Any thoughts??
On the blocking, she says this:
"It really bothers me when other people are telling me what you're doing and I have no idea or like I can see XXX talking to you about something but I can't tell what you're saying"
Well dems the breaks baby cakes. This is why I recommend blocking on FB.
oh it was a back and forth so too late for that. it was a massive initial text. I get where she is coming from actually. Of course it would be weird seeing me for the 2nd time in 9 months there. I do want to run it though... hmph
