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jazzy1 Offline OP
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OM is still in the picture and going strong. Definitely cake eating.

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jazzy1 Offline OP
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Day two of true silence. Harder than day 1.

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Some days will be easier than others. Keep it up. Get busy!

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I agree keep busy, and as tempting as the meal would be. I think it's important that you lay your boundaries as she needs to feel what she will stand to loose


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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She's already trying to encroach on the silence. "I have mail for you and shoes for our son. When do you want me to drop them off?"

Right now! But I can't.

We should be celebrating so much right now as a couple, but she left just before all the best new changes in our lives actually happened.. and she seems to think it has something to do with her leaving and just "letting go", when the reality is these things were going to happen anyway. frown

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jazzy1 Offline OP
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So last night a few calls and some texts trying to crack the darkness. This morning a text asking to call.

I know I'm supposed to use going dark as a tool. I feel like my *need* to respond is a bad thing, and I should probably stay dark until I don't *need* to respond anymore. Then I'll be in a better position to move forward.

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So, I had to have her get the kids tonight from daycare because I was running too late. When I went to get them, she told me she got her new job. I just congratulated her, being enthusiastic without being a cheerleader, and thanked her for getting the kids. We had a brief chat about our son's new shoes, and then we shuttled the kids out to the car.

She made a joke about how she's not allowed over to my place because she is smelly to our son, which was interesting. It was almost as if she were asking if it were ok for her to come over. I kinda blew it off.

Then, after the kids were packed in, she came around the corner of the car quick to get a hug. I gave her a brief, friendly hug, and while I did she said how I need to respond to her texts or calls, especially when I have the kids. I just smiled and said "I've just been real busy" to which she responded and said "What does that even mean," then, as I was turning to walk away, she smacked my butt.

I have no idea what that meant... but she seemed to make herself feel awkward after doing it because she suddenly wouldn't look me in the eye and say bye.

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I had the same problem during this time... I felt a need to respond all of the time. And almost every time, I'd end up feeling hurt afterward. Once I finally made the decision to go dark, I wouldn't respond unless it was kid/finances. It got much easier over time. Keep it up. It sounds like your interaction tonight went about as well as it could have.

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There was nothing bad about it. It was just.. different. Who knows, she might have been acting like one of those dudes in the office who doesn't respect his female employees and smacks her on the ass on her way through. I don't know. Hard to process.

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jazzy1 Offline OP
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There was nothing bad about it. It was just.. different. Who knows, she might have been acting like one of those dudes in the office who doesn't respect his female employees and smacks her on the ass on her way through. I don't know. Hard to process.

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