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Jim,
It's very unlikely for a judge to allow her to take your kids across borders. In most states they draw the line at the state borders, never mind national borders. Once you cross the border the court would not have jurisdiction over what happens in Canada, right?

It seems like you have a strong case if your WW insists on moving your kids internationally. What does your L say?


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
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It's something a local divorce/custody attorney would be able to answer, but most judges want the children to remain stable. They favor the family home, no change of schools, etc. I think you have adopted children? If they were adopted after infancy, I would think you could make an even better argument for their need for stability.

But make sure you are on top of issues like residency! Dragging your feet can leave the door open for W to establish residency somewhere else, enroll the children in school, etc. You have to take initiative, also to show the judge that you are a pro-active parent who doesn't run behind W and need her to manage things.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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CWOL,

My L says the same thing. W has had 2 different L's and I am not sure why they have not told her that she will have to co-parent in Michigan. The only way she would be able to move them is through the court decision or unless I consent on the move.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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So I did some research and I found that since she is a SAHM that will likely play in her favor since we have an S2 and and S4.

We have put S4 in daycare before because she has difficulty handling him and she thought it would be good for him to socialize with other kids all day since all he wanted to do at home was watch TV.

We have actually put all the boys in daycare when it suits her. Now that I did it she has a real problem with it.

I feel my strategy now should be to wait and see what the results of the psych evaluation are. Based on that outcome, then I will see what I can do to resolve the D through mediation and avoid trial.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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Jim, I may have missed this, but is it a regular parental evaluation you have coming up, or a psych evaluation due to specific issues? Is it court-ordered or something you asked for?


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Painter,

It is an evaluation by a psychologist. L's are having meeting on Thursday with the psychologist. Friend of the court suggested this and we both agreed.

When I first filed for D, the friend of the court could not believe that W stayed away from boys for 2 months, even though court motion stated she was allowed in the home. W kept blaming me for not leaving the home so she could spend time with them and accepted an temporary parenting plan of 60 overnights with the boys because I had everything on lockdown.

At the end of January W said she wanted to reconcile and so she made a feable attempt at coming back to the home. She stated nothing changed and blamed everything on me, I did not dismiss D fast enough, I did not change my ways at home. She would not give specifics as to what needed to change. The only time she has given me specifics was early in January when she asked me to stop smoking, get my transfer and not get angry. I did all those 180s and all I asked was for her to quit dating. When she gave no answer I had no choice but to stop my transfer and 4 days later she filed for D.

Last night I had my boys and S4 and S2 wanted me to sing lullabyes and read books so I did. S4 says he wants to live with me. I hugged him and told him he will be living with both sometimes and that everything will be ok.

Meanwhile she puts boys to be on her time and goes out with OM when she has boys in Toronto.

Just does not seem right in my heart.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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Jim,
Fight the good fight if you feel it's not right. Your case seems very strong, make sure you have an L that won't just roll over for the sake of "amicable divorce." You have a lot more cards than I do, because of your state's laws.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
Joined: Jan 2016
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CWOL

I wish I knew what the good fight was. She wanted a seperation and I filed because of my emotions. That then set her off. So yes we both are to blame but she will not budge on her position since I started the quick downward spiral. Does not excuse her waywardness but I guess she was looking for this out for a long time and is ok with finding someone else.

I have a hard time letting go of what the DB coach recommended. I could not go through with it and take any more pain in my heart.

She is a woman of action and gets things done. I commend her for that but I do not condone that she never cares what the consequences are to others.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 301
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Don't beat yourself up. My WW wanted time and space.. Which meant time to develope another R. But then started messing with parenting time and didn't want to adhere to the agreed 50/50, so I filed. But our Ss WWness is not our demon to fight. My W has had at least 2 EAs and a very probable PA. I don't beat myself up over filing.


Ralph88
Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9
2013 B drop 1, EA found
2016 B drop 2, EA/PA?
2/16 Physical Seperation
2/16 I filed for D
4/16 PA Confirmed
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Posts: 1,091
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Thank you Ralph88,

I just need to stop thinking about the past. This D is going to drag on.

Got served papers this evening from the home buyers that W and I signed the purchase agreement. STBXW gave the buyers the address to my parents house. Now will have to spend more money on L. Good thing he is a buddy from college.

So this past Monday I was in an auto accident. Guy came from the right center lane and hit the passenger side of my car. He did not stop, luckily I got his plates and filed a police report.

Went to collision shop today to get the car checked out and getting a rental on Friday so STBXW can drive back to Toronto so I can have the minivan. STBXW was spewing earlier this week that if I don't get her a rental she will get one herself. I responded that the rental is covered under insurance and not to worry, but she started spewing again because I don't take action fast enough for her. When I told her I would have a rental on Friday she sent me the following text.

W "I am sorry you were in an accident and I am glad you weren't hurt. I know you don't believe that but it's true."

Me "Thank you. I appreciate it."

She says this two days after the incident occurs. I know the only reason she said it is because I actually took action to make her life better so she is not driving a damaged car back to Toronto while she goes out with OM2. Gosh I feel like a doormat even doing that for her.

I reflect back on things over the last year or two and I don't recall a thing that she did for me just to do as a nice gesture for her H.


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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