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Phoebe,

So glad to hear your having a good day today. You so deserve it, and many more.

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Phoebe,
You're sounding good! And your PMA is rubbing off on me.

Maybe I should quickly finish my chores and go catch a movie on my own too. I love watching movies on my own, even when I was M. I am a loner this way.


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Hi again. The day's closing, and I just wanted to share that today has truly been my first genuinely GOOD day since H walked away.

Even now, I'm sitting here, and smiling, as I type those horrible words. Yes, indeed, my husband abandoned me, and you know what? He is a blithering idiot.

I feel so much more like myself today than I've felt in months, and, my oh my, is it a welcome feeling. I really don't know what's happened, but I am rolling with it, because I don't know how long it will last.

The movie I saw today (The Fifth Wave) was so incredibly BAD that I am still just laughing about it. That said, it gave me at least $2 worth of amusement, so it was totally worth the price of admission. After the movie I hit a couple thrift shops and found 2 more pair of jeans that fit and look good, and a couple shirts, so I'm pretty pleased with my efforts. My baggy clothes made me look genuinely ill, but the new ones make me feel a whole lot better about myself.

I had my music cranked up today in the car, and I did some car seat dancing at a few lights. Today I just had some fun all by myself.

After that, I did a bit of grocery shopping, and now I'm supposed to be baking a birthday cake, but I see that I'm running really late after spending so much time here (oops!!!). so it'll have to wait until tomorrow. I absolutely love to bake, and I haven't baked one single thing since December. Time to fix that.

My marriage may have died, but I sure as he11 haven't.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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I love seeing how good you are doing today. It is simply amazing to see some sass in your actions today. Keep it up as it is inspirational for many of us to follow you as you grow stronger in spite of the storm you are weathering.

Sending good vibes to you so that you may continue on this path tomorrow.

(((Big hugs))) and high fives for this successful day.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Oh, that is such great news, Phoebe! It's so important to find that place to know that you'll be okay.

When H and I were in the first stages of rebuilding, I went to the movies by myself and truly enjoyed it.

Music is also so important to lift the mood - I just watched again a clip with Jennifer Lopez and James Cordon where they do car karaoke. You should google it, it's so charming and funny!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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This is journey my lovely, there will be good and tough phases.

Whilst all is peaceful and calm stay and bask.

Please look after your health, extreme care in nutrition, examine whether you require supplements if you are losing weight.

The one thing I have lost is my beautiful hair in handfuls. I hope it returns quickly as I am eating well now. When I say extreme care of yourself that means eating. The separation diet hits most of us in one of two ways, eating for stress and not eating for stress. Neither of these are healthy.

Much love for a very brave lady

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Reading about your day made me happy!

You are an inspiration.


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
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Phoebe Offline OP
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Good morning to all. So far so good today. I had a couple moments of that old anxious feeling this morning while I was laying awake, but I just moved my thoughts gently along to something else, and it seemed to help.

I'm really making an effort to let thoughts of H pass through me today, instead of focusing on them. So if a thought wanders into my head, I'm trying to let it wander on by. It's sort of like what I have done in the past with meditation. I hear/see/sense the thought, and then I let it go.

Anyway, that's today's experiment. I have much to learn, but I'm still feeling that positive "shifted" sort of feeling that I've had the last couple days. Still rolling with it.

I'll be doing some more property cleanup today, so that is exciting, and it gets me out of doors, another very good thing.

More later! All the best for my fellow DBers for a positive day.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,167
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Phoebe! I am so relieved to read all of this. You have made MY day with these posts! And I am so glad that my words were encouraging; it makes it all worth while.

You are doing wonderful. One day at a time. And there will be those good days like yesterday and then some days not so good. Then there will be those days that are hard to even get out of bed. That is okay too. Because over time, there will be more good days than bad.

Take care of yourself, do the best you can do, and most important is to forgive yourself for all those mistakes. You are only human. Keep on journaling here. Keep on moving forward. Keep on keeping on! I am so proud of you.

And you are right on that H is a total idiot! When he finally pulls his head out of his arse, you may just realize you have already moved on. The universe always has a way of sorting these things out, doesn't it.

So cheers to another great day! ... Or to another crap-y day and starting over fresh tomorrow.

XOXO
-Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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Beautiful phoebe. I am so happy to see you have had a few good days. And I love you are feeling a bit more like you. Huge hugs your way.

We do have good and bad days, I think taking care of yourself is the best advise anyone can give. It's amazing what a pma can do. Jksd summed up looking after yourself first in a great analogy- the whole putting your oxygen mask on first. Too true.

Shopping soothes the soul for sure. I hope your swaying those hips in those new jeans if not for anyone else but you. I had a great Victoria secrets shop the other week. And I am loving swinging my hips feeling good about me. Those French designers had me spending lots on things that make me feel good. And the old depression diet made my bikini figure look good.

Wishing you nothing but great thoughts. Like you said, the WAS isn't really a catch right now. Would we have given them time of day for this treatment when we first met them? Certainly not


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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